5 Quick Pick-Me-Ups for Caregiver Stress

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almost 8 years, said...

Well Tommy and his big brother are away to dad's and my hubby is holding the fort so I can go for a gym spa day to unwind, ten passes for £10 not bad thank you Groupon


over 8 years, said...

Good exercise


over 8 years, said...

I am trying to follow some of the pickmeups,still feeling isolated and scared.Taking care of my husband with ms for many years feeling alone,family doesnt understand the hardships,and I dont ask for enough help,hopfully Ill get smart and start,


over 8 years, said...

I was caregiver for our son, with my husband's help, when he had 5 brain surgeries over a period of 10 years. My husband was a big help even though he worked full time. It was ver emotionally draining for me because my husband and I were constantly at odds over certain aspects of his care. God was very good to all of us and our son can now live a normal life even though he is somewhat compromised by so many brain surgeries. I still worry about him. Then 7 months ago, it was discovered my husband has cancer. I gladly became his caregiver because he had cared for me during a broken leg, life support, and a recent hip and knee replacement. He has undergone 5 months of tough chemo because he has a tough cancer. It has been a very tough time because the chemo made him so sick. He had steroid rage from prednisone so badly I had to call the police. Ativan helped that. He had many throat infections and the dr. stopped chemo when he began passing out and was injured several times. Our son helped when he could but he travels a lot. I was so exhausted and in so much pain, I finally asked friends for some help but was ignored. I guess it was too hard for them to see him like that. Now that chemo is over, he is in blessed remission and it is my deepest prayer he stays in it. God is always by our sides. He is back at work, feeling better and is so glad chemo is over. I, however, continue to have emotional problems from it. I have been handling finances, grocery shopping, housework and taking care of him. I scored a 17 on caregiver burnout. :( No, I am not suicidal. I just have such a hard time sleeping, my mind races and Inworry so much about the future. This came at a time we are not quite ready fir Medicare. I had to apply for assistance at two hospitals and God was so good to us and so were the hospitals. We still have a lot of dr. bills and medication bills. I pray so hard I have my husband with me for many years as I love him so much. I am having stomach problems,headaches and tears. I do find meditation tapes help a bit. I was deeply hurt by my friends and family. It was hard to ask in the first place and I will never ask again. It's just that between my son's brain surgeries and my husband's cancer. I seem to have lost myself. It is very painful to walk so that didn't help. I lean on God and Jesus and I know it was my faith that carried me through. It helps to be able to get a bit more rest and I pray the future is more kind. It also helped to vent here. Thank you.


over 8 years, said...

Good tips to help caregivers relieve some stress. Music helps me a lot. I play soothing music for my Alzheimer's patient and it helps me calm down a bit. It is so important for caregivers to be creative in finding some peace for themselves, especially because money can be an issue (or lack of money can be an obstacle). We all need vacations from the demanding work we do, but probably can't afford the vacation we need! For now, music, walks, sunshine, eating healthy fruits and vegetables, and naps will do.


about 9 years, said...

It gave some good ideas on what to do to keep me from burning out


over 9 years, said...

AFTER 2-1/2 YEARS OF CARING FOR THE LADY IN MY LIFE, SHE IS NEARLY BLIND & MUST USE A WALKER OR WHEELCHAIR, I FEEL THAT I AM BEGINNING TO DROWN IN THE SEA OF MEETING HER NEEDS. YOUR TEST CONFIRMED THAT I DESERVE MORE RESURRECTING NAPS, NATURE WALKS, MEDITATION, AND LISTEN-TO-MUSIC BREAKS.


over 9 years, said...

When I care for my son who is very ill I have to be with him at every moment. I do 12 hour shifts everyday of the week. I then pick up every open night shift that nurses do not show. I do not know how to do any of the above, except turn up the music. It is refreshing when I do listen to some music. The problem is my son will only tolerate it for a few minutes. it is really hard to do relaxing events when we are so busy and tiered. I even have problems concentrating when I am with him on anything else except him. Thank you for the ideas.


over 9 years, said...

Power Naps - I don't do this enough Writing - I love to write-don't do this enough, always resort to computer Lifting weights - this really helps me Thank you, Ella


almost 10 years, said...

Things like this article are becoming cliche's. In depth help and personal evaluation.


about 10 years, said...

This is extremely helpful. Thank you.


over 10 years, said...

walking the dog for 30 minutes or so, also helps to relieve stress. You can think about your surrounding's, the sky, the birds, the weather & anything else. It works.


over 10 years, said...

Every tip! I know these, but I'm printing them off to remind me! Thank you so much


over 10 years, said...

My care giving has come on gradually for the past four years. My husband's dementia is progressing slowly but surely. My score is 37 which seems pretty accurate to me. I have had a few health problems recently that likely reflects the B's and C's. I am having a hard time making the decision to get busy and plan at least one day off during the week. Early on, I tried to do that with a paid care-giver and my husband was extremely resistant....."I don't want to pay someone to watch me sleep!" Hopefully, this information will help me work this out. Thank you for your help. jkg


almost 11 years, said...

Thanks for these stress-relieving tips. I can do them! I used to hate hearing my dad tell me to smile when I was crotchety, especially because I quickly discovered it works. And I know all these tips work - but have only been promising myself to do them "when I have time." No more promises- just "a couple of minutes" will help a lot.


about 11 years, said...

It was a good article that reminded me of several things I already knew, but I wasn't doing them. I would add the benefits of pets to the article, having the unconditional affection of a pet helps me greatly.


about 11 years, said...

Great reminders ... thanks! I get so caught up in things, that I forget to do those little things that take care of me.


about 11 years, said...

Paula, very helpful advice for sharing with my leading two men's support groups.


about 11 years, said...

CONSIDERING THE QUESTIONSW ASKED AND MY ANSWERS.


about 11 years, said...

My family and I continue to try to figure out how we can get a helper, even once a week. I would like to just get in my car and drive around a little with no particular place to go Our current problem is my wife's obsession with security and related issues. She fired our housekeeper thinking she was stealing jewelry. I know this was not the case since I found the item in question in a sock stuffed at the back of her underwear drawer. This continues to happen. So I get to do most of the housework. We had to discontinue trash pick-up because she fretted that the trash men were going to steal our dog to use him in a dog fighting ring. The Sheriff did break up a dog fighting ring about ten years ago, but for my wife it was just yesterday. So we get to go the dump (Whoops! I mean re-cycling center.) once a week. You meet the nicest people at the dump....see your neighbors getting rid of their empties. I do find that my sense of humor remains intact, but some days it too disappears. Support from other local men in the same boat and web sites like caring.com are integral parts of my life these days.


about 11 years, said...

I learned where I fall within the Caregiver burnout scenario. It was interesting to read the methods to reduce caregiver stress. I will try to use some of these when I feel the need and when practical. My husband rarely rests; thus, it is difficult to get away by myself (Right now he is pounding on the table in the dining room!). I am fortunate, though, to have a loving caregiver twice a week, and lately our Son has taken time off work to come here and help me with his Dad. This has given me time to actually get out with a friend in similar circumstances. We talked about going to Anna's Linens for over a year--and just ventured out today! It was wonderful to get things that we really needed; however, I find that I am exhausted!! Guess I should do more exercise here at home. Thanks for all the great information on your site!


about 11 years, said...

Yes, I scored a 37. I know I must do the things suggested and already do, to an extent. My dear wife sleeps a bit more and I use this time for myself. I read, correspond with friends by email and FB and cyber loaf on the Internet.


over 11 years, said...

That there are things that I can do to help my spirits in short periods of time predetermined to at least 5 times a day. To focus on the fact that I am doing things to help me. That I need to recognize my true emotions. That I need to exercise even if only for short periods. That friends are important and help my emotions.


over 11 years, said...

These are good and practical tips. The stress of trying to balance a stressful job and care for my aging mother who is 2 hours away -- is catching up with me now. I know I need to put much more time on "pick-me-ups" to help me balance and stay healthy. I appreciate these articles and this site.


over 11 years, said...

The article helped to remind me to do a check to see where I stand. It's easy to get lost when caring for a loved one. I don't write letters, but do have a personal blog that i write in and share it with people I'm very close to. Another thing I tend to do is isolate so this helps others know where my head is at and it's a communication device. Often if I'm in a bad place they'll call and it elevates my mood.


over 11 years, said...

just the reminder of things one can do


over 11 years, said...

Great ideas!


almost 12 years, said...

FINDING OUT "WHERE I STAND". OBVIOUSLY NOT "FOOT LOOSE AND FANCY FREE", BUT NOT ON THE VIRGE OF COLAPSE EITHER. I NOW FEEL THAT HAVING AN IDEA OF WHY I FEELTHE WAY I DO, AND ALSO KNOWING THAT MY DAILY (ALMOST) WALKS ARE A GOOD WAY TO NOT ONLY KEEP IN SHAPE, BUT TO RELIEVE SOME OF THE STRESS AND STRAIN. I REALLY THINK I CAN ARANGE A FEW CHANGES SUCH THAT I CAN REDUCE THE STRESS FACTOR, AND ALSO ENHANCE BOTH OF OUR ATTITUDES AND FEELINGS. ONE WAY BEING TO PLAY MORE MUSIC DURING THE DAY. THAT JUST MIGHT IMPROVE BOTH OF US AS WE HAVE A GOOD COLLECCTION OF MUSIC, AND THE ABILITY TO LISTEN TO IT EITHER IN THE HOUSE OR ON THE BACK PATIO. THANK YOU. GEEZER81.


about 12 years, said...

just knowing tht there r things to do ,beside going to th park.. I wish i could take naps ,but my mom has a sissy fit if i leave her alone .. I have to make a excuse to go out ,like th bank ,or craft store or even church just to get piece of mind..


about 12 years, said...

The quiz answered many questions for me and was an eye opener!


about 12 years, said...

I totalled 38 points........I thought I was doing better than that.....opened my eyes to some needed adjustments................


over 12 years, said...

Writing a letter helps, I write read it, and then delete. I have a lot of resentment that I can't do anything about.


over 12 years, said...

I think these are very helpful tips in any situation however this stuff appears to be more geared toward caring for elderly or infirm ...what about caring overly energetic children? They are happy when kept busy but need constant stimulation. I tend to run out of get-up-and-go before they do and I'm a single parent.


over 12 years, said...

The 5 helful pick me ups!!!


over 12 years, said...

The rest and exercise suggestions.


over 12 years, said...

Most learn to handle and do some of these things without outburst from my husband.


over 12 years, said...

I'm caring for an older brother..many problems both physical and mental. This reminded me how much I need to care for myself. Taking breaks, writing things down but not sending, tearing up written comments. All are good for me and make me a better caregiver for him.


over 12 years, said...

All of it, either things I knew to do and needed to be reminded of, or hthings that reassured me I am not losing my mind just yet


almost 13 years, said...

My husband and I take care of my brother who has alzheimers. He is very difficult because he is very stubborn and un-cooperative, in that he refuses to take a shower, and other suggestions he just gets mad. He also has his radio on with ear phones that he doesn't plug in, and have to listen to all day. I think we may have fixed that though. we have very little help in getting a break too. I feel that I don't have the patience I should but he really tries my patience sometimes. I wish we could give it up, but am paid well for it, and my husband and I are in our 70's and 80's and need this income. I feel like we're stuck.we have been taking care of him for 31/2 years now. He is strong physically, and can read, he reads all day which is fine, and watching tv I'm sure keeps him calm. Thanks for letting me share, appreciate it.Alaskan Nelly


almost 13 years, said...

Hi gracenmel, Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm sorry to hear your in a tough situation. Caregiving is no easy task, and neither are all the emotions that come with it. You just have to take those feeling one day at a time and realize it's completely normal to feel the way you do. But, you are important and deserve some well earned breaks! To learn more about dealing with the emotional aspects of caregiving, as well as self care, check our the Self Caring blog (http://www.caring.com/blogs/self-caring). I hope that gives you some good ideas. Take care of yourself -- Best, Emily | Community Manager


almost 13 years, said...

I'm working on my 15th yr of caring for my stroke-stricken Mother. She's unable to talk or walk, so I need any and all suggestions and help I can get! This article is EXTREMELY helpful to me


almost 13 years, said...

This article was very good--I already try to incorporate some of these into my daily routine. I can also relate to many of these comments. My m-i-l is hispanic and i am not, so there is a bit of a language barrier there at times. She has suffered from Schizophrenia for many many years, and has in the last 6 years been diagnosed with Alzheimer's as well. She lives with us and my husband and i are her primary care givers. With my hubby's work schedule, i am with her 98% of the time. My own mother also lives with us, and while she thankfully is in relatively good health, she has her own set of needs/demands. I also have a wonderful, creative, energetic 4 year old daughter. The day to day demand of juggling schedules, appointments, meds and attention is overwhelming to say the least. I have yet to find the balance between being a caregiver, wife and mother and taking care of ME. Oh, and did i mention that i work full time--3 days telecommuting 2 in the office? I am often irritable and always tired. How do i not let those around me--mother and m-i-l --make me feel guilty when i want to take a minute to myself? and how do i not resent those outside of our house who should be stepping up but are unwilling to? I try to let it go and put it all in God's hands, but it is HARD.


about 13 years, said...

Hi cathey, glad you liked our suggestions. You can find more "caregiver break" suggestions here: (http://www.caring.com/articles/stress-relief-pick-me-ups). Enjoy your breaks, you deserve them -- Emily


about 13 years, said...

I am taking care of my husband who has congestive heart failure and diabetes. I took the test and I will try all the suggestions.


about 13 years, said...

Give more suggestions


about 13 years, said...

My husband has Acute Leukemia. He has been taken off of chemo because the last two rounds have been too toxic to him and he has ended up in the hospital. Family and friends all have alternative things for him to take and its overwhelming me.


about 13 years, said...

How timely. I am sitting at the computer playing music. It always relaxes me.


about 13 years, said...

I did the test and was very very surprised to read the answer. It was great. Even the 5 minute Pick-me ups are exactly what I love to do, but do'nt make time to do it. I am very pleased and want to thank you very much for answering sooo quickly. I see that you have a lot of good information (up to date) about a lot of things.Great.


about 13 years, said...

My mother-in-law is Japanese, and I am not. She can say some of the most hurtful things to me. A year ago I would cry when she was mean mouthed, now it is not so very bad. I usually change the subject, and she forgets what she was saying, or I say oops!, I forgot, and leave the room. I try and not take her comments seriously, so remind my self that she is like a little kid, and does not know any better. I am her daught-in-law, but I am also a successful woman in my own right. I feel you will find that eventually, your 2 personalities will get along very well, use each as you need and want them.


over 13 years, said...

I got into caregiving after my mom passed away. I live with regret every day because I was living in FL at the time when she was ill and came back to find that it was to late, she passed 4 months later. I now help an elderly friend of mine 40+ hrs a week and also work for a comp. on wknds. I feel like i'm losing it I have way to much on my plate, but I try not to show it to my elderly friends and don't want to stop helping them but I need me time.I am going to try some of the tips I have found on this site. Thanks for letting me vent ;)


over 13 years, said...

Getting used to how you feel takes a while--sometimes I almost forget when I am at work. I, too, am caring for a husband with ALZ. I have no one to help me and a full time job but each morning I ask God to help and guide me and keep me in His hands and take one day at a time. I revel in the days my husband is loving and caring and teasing me like he used to because I know those kinds of days will end soon and I want to cherish them now. Having all the other caregivers to share with has helped me a lot!


over 13 years, said...

yes it was


over 13 years, said...

Well it was helpful, but it is too late for me to use. My mom has passed away but before that, I was using these tactics to stay energized, some times thought I didn't throw my 'letters' away, my sister found them after listening to my father's delusional rants and going along with him because she's always been the center of attention and me being the caregiver to my parents made her think that any non-positive thing my father would say about her, or any positive thing he would say about me, just infuriated her. She took my letters, read them to them, they weren't bad but she would say after every sentence, what she thought I was saying, which was nothing like I had said. She made them thnk I was this horrible untrustworthy person and that she was the only one that was a good girl in our family, pretty soon my father started kicking me out after having driven the 3 hours to get to their house, then my mom even started acting different and if I was looking in a drawer for something for her, she would accuse me of trying to steal something, Life got unbearable and I was unable to take care of them anymore after a couple more years of this. I loved my family more than anything, and had left my husband and son at home to care for my parents because my sisters had to work, I thought I was doing everyone a favor and I had been their caregiver anyway most of their older years. Please listen to the above but no matter how muchyou may think you trust your sisters, brothers, friends, etc.. throw away, shred, burn or whatever you have to do any written material you have used to get out aggressions..


almost 14 years, said...

I helped take care of my dad who died of cancer and now my husband of 33 years has alzheimers and I think I understand what your saying. It's like a bad dream that seems so real, your body does what needs to be done for them, but your mind is still trying to wrap around the fact that there not going to be with you much longer. You want to be strong and get things done, but at the same time you can see yourself grabbing a hold of them and just crying your eyes out. Your right there is another personality and when time is right you'll know what it is too. I feel great pain for you for when my father was dying I thought it was the worst pain I could ever feel, but I was wrong for I have spent more time on this earth with my husband than I did my father and the love and differents in the relationships makes it so much harder with my husband. I wish there was something I could say to make your pain easier, but I know there's not. I'll keep you in my prayers and just know anytime you need to let it out that their's people out here to listen.


almost 14 years, said...

This is new to me just this week. My wonderful husband of 31 years is termnal with cancer. I feel like two different people. One is a wife, she is so sad it is unbearable. The other one is the care provider. She has the skills, so that helps a lot. but it feel unreal. Is there a third personality in all this? E.