CommunityDiscussions About Housing for Seniors

1. Personal Care Home Or Skilled Nursing Facility?

   Community Discussion - Seven months ago, I placed my mother who is in the moderate-severe stages of altzheimers in a personal care home because I could not deal with the thought of her being in a "nursing" home. Unfortunately, I am an only child and keeping her with me was not an option The personal care home is a regular...

2. How do I find long term care for my husband whose mind is great but body is shot?

   Community Discussion - I can't do the job of caring for him anymore. I have been his caregiver for 8 years but his mind is good and I feel guilty about putting him into care.

3. For Those Living In Assisted Living Or Nursing Homes...Holiday Celebrations?

   Community Discussion - I got to wondering about this, thinking about Easter coming up this weekend and wondering how assisted living centers and/or nursing homes helped their residents celebrate. Do they decorate? Do they have the residents help with that? What activities are encouraged and taught?

4. Mother Angry At Being In Assisted Living

   Community Discussion - The NC court declared mom incompetent and me as her guardian last Aug. She is very angry that "I put her there", "would never have expected it of me", "there is nothing wrong with me", and the every popular - "I want to go home - NOW". I cannot seem to get her off the subject (change her channel) and she is angry and nasty, accusing me of it all...

5. Would You Promise Never to Put a Loved One into a Care Facility?

   Community Discussion - Have you ever promised your parent or loved one that you'd never put them in a long-term care facility, such as assisted living or a nursing home? A long time ago, I made that promise to my mind and have since had to take it back. I watched how my aunts dealt (poorly) with my grandmother whose care exceeded their ability to give it in their own homes...

6. How can I make my mom's nursing home stop giving her the option to refuse hair care?

   Community Discussion - My mom has been hit with a double whammy. Not only is she sinking deeper and deeper into dementia but she had hip replacement surgery last month after the neck of her femur collapsed. Mom had been living in an assisted living facility that specialized in memory care...

7. What do you do if you suspect nursing home abuse?

   Community Discussion - Has anyone here had any experience with that, or suspected it? What was happening, how was the situation handled?

8. Only Child With Mom Living 400 Miles Away With Dementia

   Community Discussion - Mom has dementia, getting worse every day. I am an only child, and her only relative. She lives 400 miles away. I have tried insisting that she move closer to me or at least have caregivers check on her but she is adamant that she does not need this. HELP!

9. Mom needs to go to a long-term care facility, but she refuses to go! What do I do?

   Community Discussion - My mother has never been diagnosed with Alzheimer's because by the time we tried to approach it with her she was already advanced and went wild in denial.

10. But I Don't Want Her To Live With Me.

    Community Discussion - It's more a joke than anything, I know, but my mother is always teasing that we're going to have to fix up our back room into MIL quarters so when she's too old to take care of herself, she can move in there.

11. How can we get Mom to agree to move into an assisted living facility?

    Community Discussion - My Mother - in-law has always been disabled, she suffers from TIA's, has seizures, has a trake tube and hip displacia. I've tried convincing her that she would have better care is she lived in an assisted living community, and she would still have all of her freedom.

12. Important Advice For All Caregivers....A Must Read.

    Community Discussion - I am writing to warn everyone about the mistakes we've made.

13. Refusing to go to a nursing home

    Community Discussion - My older sister, 20 years older than me, is 84 years old tomorrow, refuses to go to a nursing home. For 30 years she has been saying never, never, never. Last year she was robbed by a neighbor that was supposed to be helping to take care of her, and he took most of her life savings...

14. I'm Being Pulled So Many Different Ways

    Community Discussion - Here is my situation: I have been married for 9 years-this April. I have a 4 year old daughter. I have my 89 year old grandmother living with us. My husband and I were married 1-2 years when Grandma invited us to live in her basement apartment rent free, in exchange for yard work and other minor help she might need...

15. Trying To Cope With An Angry, Hostile Dememted Mother Without Any Help!

    Community Discussion - I have had my mother living with me since late November. This is what I thought would happen, as she has been going down hill for about 10 years - first with alcohol and now with dementia/alzheimers/whatever. I specifically asked my only sibling - sister if she could have my mother stay with she and...

16. You are never really prepared.

    Community Discussion - My mother-in-law (mil) has been showing symptoms of dementia/Alzheimer's for 5 years. It wasn't until an eye appointment that the doctor's got the ball rolling. She is going blind from an optical stroke a few years ago-but her vision became distressingly worse in the months since her previous visit.

17. Who Else Would Give Up The Caregiver "Job" If You Could?

    Community Discussion - I would. My Dad is in assisted living with dementia and diabetes. I take care of all his bills, and everything he needs that the assisted living facility doesn't provide (clothes, doctor's visits etc). I visit him regularly and handle all problems that arise (his teeth hurt, he needs a dentist - his chair is soaked with urine, he needs a vinyl one)...

18. How do I find help bringing mom home from a nursing home?

    Community Discussion - A couple years ago my mother had to have one of her legs amputated due to her diabetes and I was at the time living in an upstairs apartment when I helped take care of her. She's been in 2 different nursing homes over the almost 2 years since her amputation, and I still feel like she needs to come home...

19. What Is Best For My Mom?

    Community Discussion - I keep having people tell me that I need to put my Mom into an Alzheimer's facility and that it would be better for her. My problem is that I feel that my Mom took care of me all my life and now it is my responsibility to take care of her. I also promised her that I would never put her in a nursing home...

20. I've been caring for my husband with Alzheimer's for two years -- and now he wants a divorce

    Community Discussion - Any advice? My husband has early Alzheimer's/Dementia from an accident 2 yrs ago. I successfully fought his family and won Guardianship. I am now his sole caregiver and it has almost destroyed our relationship. It has reversed our roles and he resents his loss of independence...

21. How Do You Afford Long Term Care Costs?

    Community Discussion - Nursing homes and assisted living facillities are so expensive and, often, not an option for many families who have to pay out of pocket. So if your loved one is in a long-term care facility, how are you paying? Medicaid? Long-term care insurance? Family members contributing financially?