Problem with sister

Hi All,

My wife and I are caring for my 93yo mother. I am 53 and my wife 43. We bought a house next door to her 20 years ago after her health began to deteriorate. She is physically in tough shape, barely able to walk. She is mentally sharp but short term memory is limited making it hard to self medicate. We have to be there at least twice a day to administer her meds along with Breakfast and supper. She has a local meals program deliver her with a lunch. My wife and I also do all the banking, bills and other misc. support.

I have two older sisters that live about one hour away. One had moved 30+ years ago and the other just a year ago. Neither one offers any support and has made it clear that their roll is just to visit Mom.

The one sister that I am really having difficulty with is the one who moved just a year ago. She actually still works close by to Mom being unable to find a job in her new location. She will stay with Mom once or twice a week to save herself a commute.

When ever I express any frustration about having to shoulder the work, she lashes out that she had taken care of my parents 41 years ago when my mother was in a car accident and my father was sick for years. She goes into long rants about every detail that she was responsible for back then. I was 12yo and not able to really and give the kind if support she did. As I got older I increased my roll in family support as much as anyone. But to this day, even though my wife and I have been primary caretaker for Mom, my sister still uses the events of 40 years ago to excuse her lack of support for Mom now.

I can’t figure out how she can use that as justification for not giving any support now. She'll go on to say "Now it’s your turn"

She actually acts very bitterly toward me and my wife.

I'm at my wits end. Thanks for letting me rant

Sid