hi connie,

my husband and i relocated back to the state's in november 2008 to care for my father who suffered a stroke due to a posterior cerebral aneurysm.  when we decided to pack up our home and have my husband quit is job we were never anticipating what was about to unfold before.  we have been attacked for every decision that we've made and accused that the only reason we are doing this is for personal financial gain.  the unfortunate part is my father is very much in debt and we had to apply for medicaid to help pay for his care and needed therapy.  i've had to stop my career to take care of my father, and my husband had to try and find work during very difficult economic times.

we have tried pretty much everything under the sun to calm the fears and concerns of everyone involved to no avail.  it seems that when you take on the role of caregiver you also somehow take on several others, mediator, informant and the human punching bag.  with a psychology background i dismissed everyone's behavior as their way of coping, from shock to denial and then anger.  no one will express these emotions to my father, thank god!  unfortunately my husband and i have become the daily scapegoats for everyone's attacks, from insulting emails to voicemails, for nearly 9 months.  my father's stroke happened the beginning of september.

we wish we could find a resolve because the more time we spend putting out these little fires the less time we spend and focus on the next crucial step in my father's recovery.  which is going very well and we are confident he will recover enough to walk again.  he is only 55 and has his whole life ahead of him.

the only thing that seems to work is to continue moving forward and not taking your eye off the main goal.  no matter how much we try to change and appease everyone else we are always doing something to upset another.  we are both in our early thirties, and we took on this responsibility within the first year of our marriage.  i'm very lucky and fortunate to have such a wonderful and supporting husband who understands as my love and commitment to my father as his only child.