Living together for financial reasons?

I am hoping someone will respond to this soon as inquiring minds want to know.  At the moment, my husband and i do not live with my mother, but am contemplating it for financial reasons.  As of now, we spend Sundays together and by the end of Sunday night all three of us are ready to go our separate ways. So it is hard for me to imagine living under one roof.  At the same time, I need to do what I need to do.  Any and all help with be greatly appreciated.

I am 60 my mom 89 with Alzheimer's.  I sold my house and moved in with her when my father died after two years in a nursing home.  I could not physically take care of her and my house at the same time.  I paid a financial advisor (Medicaid Estate Preservationist) who recommended we consolidate.  It has helped me financially and given mom a high level of care she wouldn't get from if I had kept my house.  Mom's limited income pays for household expenses and I bank my full time job pay, as much as I can.  I have lived with her for 8 yrs now.  Soon I will have to consider quiting my job to take care of her, but we aren't there yet.

As her disease has progressed, my life has disappeared.  I'm single and have a few friends who are understanding of the demands of a caregiver but I haven't had a date and have lost all my own interests.  Work is gettng more difficult to deal with as she worsens.  I have kind of turned into her husband, if you know what I mean.  Kind of odd relationships form when adult children live with their parents.

That said, I'm glad I started our relationship well before she was as bad mentally as she is now.  I've had time to work into an understanding of what I can do and can't do, and come to terms with her.  However, I can't imagine the stress this living arrangement would cause to a marriage.  I don't know that financial considerations should be the first thing to think about.  I think I go to some marriage counseling to make sure my marriage would survive the situation.

I go into the garage and talk loudly to myself frequently.  I spend quiet time in my bedroom reading. And I work full time.   It is hard to get alone time with someone you are living with and caring for. It has made seeing and reacting to changes easier -a good thing.  If I was living separate I think I'd be here more and no time at all for myself.  I do all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, pay bills, take her to appointments, help her bathe and.....everything. 

Also, be careful before you give up your house that you understand the financial issues if you would ever need to qualify your mother for state Medicaid assistance (even nursing home assistance). Each state is different.   As in my situation, my mother and I own the house jointly.  If she would go into a nursing home, I could not sell the house without having to use half the sale to go to pay for the fees before Medicaid would help pay her bills. 

It is a very hard choice.  Can you deal with the realtionship and being on call 24/7 as a caregiver and maintain your marriage? 

Hope this helps.  If you want to know more, let me know.