Welcome, we're glad you're here.

I recently lost my mother and the pain is unbearable

I am so sorry, Anonymous. I understand your pain. It's a large hole that's left behind. My best advice is to let the feelings be your feelings. They're honest and true, but don't let them take over your life. Remember, but don't live in the past. Keep moving forward. Please feel free to start up any threads you may wish to to gather advice and suggestions and hugs.

I'm new to this group.  I just returned from helping a friend's husband and his sister-in-law make final arrangements for her.  She is in Hospice with last stages of leukemia.  I have been thinking about making my own pre-arrangements and wonder how many others have done this.  I already have a POA, a living will and a final will and testament which were written about 6 years ago when my mom passed.  I have two cousins, one of who was named as my executor and the wills are filed with my attorney and my physician.  Any advice you can offer as to what other arrangements besides the funeral home I should consider would be appreciated.

To all of you who are mourning my heartfelt condolences.

Hi Janq,

Welcome. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. How kind of you to help out her family and her.

I think you're smart to be planning ahead. This page: http://www.caring.com/end-of-life will offer you much information on final arrangements, financial arrangements, and other valuable info for planning such as you are. Perhaps this will help you round out your already set plans.

Please hang around and offer your experiences to others, we'd love to have you!

Laura

Thank you.  I wish there was more I could do or say to help make this period of their lives easier.  This morning I brought Holy Communion to my friend.  I know that her faith has been so helpful for her.  Her husband is having a difficult time though he knows that his dear wife is looking forward to "going home" to our Lord. 

Thank you, too, for the advice and web site.  I will certainly look into it.  I think I'll be going to the funeral director after the New Year to take care of my arrangements.  I certainly don't want my cousins to have to make these decisions.

God bless all of you on this site.  You are providing a wonderful service.

I can immagine the pain you must have felt and still feel over loosing your Mother.

I have an eighty-year old Mother with cervical cancer which has mestisized and I can tell you the dozens of times I have cried alone thinking when she's gone. I am an only child and she was a widow when I was eight years old till she re married when I was in my early thirtites but we were always very close and although I am thankful that I been blessed having my Mother still around is a great comfort but nevertheless It saddens me when the day the Lord will take her away. I understand this is part of life and we all have to walk on the same path one day. I pray that God gives me courage to accept what I cannot change and gives me strength to keep on going.

God Bless

Betty

I lost my husband Feb. 4, 2010 to pancreatic cancer. I am so numb and lost. I know he's in a better place and that he is with loved ones now. I was blessed with the "final gift" of seeing him reunited with his loved ones as his life here ended. He left this world peacefully and surrounded by his loved ones left behind.

He was taken from me two months after his diagnosis. It was so hard to watch him waste away. Even to the very end he worried about me, and about becoming a burden on me. I know, I was blessed to have such a loving and caring man.

Tamberlee, welcome. I'm so very sorry for your loss. It does sound like the end days were peaceful and with love. (((hugs)))

After going through the trauma of making funeral arrangements for my father in 1991, my husband and I decided to pre-plan ours to take some of the load from our daughter's shoulders. We even purchased our double-headstone and had it engraved as we wanted it - man fishing in a canoe for him and a lighthouse for me. It's a beautiful monument and paid for in full. My husband has been terminal since August '09, and I'm so relieved that this part of the arrangements are done. I can totally focus on him. Not only are you making sure all is done the way you wish for it to be, you're making it easier for your family.

I am new to the group. I lost my dad to Encephalitis in 2007 after caring for him for over 7 months. Now my grandmother, my last living relative even though I'm only 25, is in the end stage of lung cancer. This is the fifth time it has recurred and the treatments are no longer working. I live 600 miles from her but am planning on going to stay with her in a couple of weeks to assist her until she passes. I am very distraught and it is even harder as it reminds me of the pain of losing my father. I hope to find help here to handle her impending death as well as possible and make her transition as comfortable as possible. Jennifer

Hi Jennifer,

(((Hugs))) I'm so sorry!! That's a lot to take in so young. I'm proud of you for helping to take care of your family, and you know they love you for it. We're here for you to talk with whenever you need a boost or advice.

Hi! To Everyone,I'm new to the group .I'm 50 years old with Congestive Heart Failure, High Blood Pressure,and a Diabetic.I was told that it's time for me to get my affairs in order and to go ahead and make my funeral arrangements. But that is every hard to do when you know that you are about to leave your love ones behind. There is no easy way of doing this but i want to do it so that my three daughters want have to make these decisions . Because it will be hard even on them as is. When i started making my arrangements it was the hardest thing i ever had to do.All i could do was just sat and cry over and over again.But i know it had to be done. THings like this don't get any easier, but they do get harder.Sometimes i get so scard and alone until it hurts. It's nice to have someone to talk to about it.Thank You All! And GOD BLESS YOU ALL!

Hi,I'm new to the group too. I'm 50 years old with Congestive Heart Failure,High Blood Pressure,and Diabetics.And not to long ago i was told that it was time for me to get my affairs in order,and make my Funeral Arrangements.But that is every hard to do when you know that you are about to leave your love ones behind.There is no easy way of doing this but, i want to do this so that my three daugthers do not have to deal with this later down the road.Because it will be hard even as is for them. When i started making the funeral arrangemntsit was the hardest thing i ever had to do.All i could do was just sit and cry over and over again.But i know it had to be done. Things like this don't get any easier.But they do get harder.Sometimes I get scared and alone until it hurts. Sometimes it's not always best to tell people or your family how you feel, you just have to hold it all in. I made a mistake on the last post so Im re doing it .This is it. It's nice to have someone to talk too. Thank You All! GOD BLESS YOU ALL!

About 2 days ago, I got a message saying my grandpa was in the hospital ( he's really more than just a grandparent, he's been like my dad, since my dad passed away before I was born) They didn't know what was wrong at the time, turned out he had final stage lung cancer than has spread to his liver, he was given about a month to 6 months...

I went and saw him, it was really hard to go into that hospital as strong as I wanted to, but I did it. I didn't want him to feel a weak presence, it's the last thing he needed, but he's always very happy to see me. But when I think about him, it drives me crazy, I have no control over the situation... he's 67 he's a very very strong person, he was in high spirits but.. I wish I could take it away, if anyone could message me and help me come up with conversation topics, it's hard to ask someone like that " how are you" or " feeling any better" .... I'm at a loss... it's hard to keep my health up ( depression) to see him...

About 2 days ago, I got a message saying my grandpa was in the hospital ( he's really more than just a grandparent, he's been like my dad, since my dad passed away before I was born) They didn't know what was wrong at the time, turned out he had final stage lung cancer than has spread to his liver, he was given about a month to 6 months...

I went and saw him, it was really hard to go into that hospital as strong as I wanted to, but I did it. I didn't want him to feel a weak presence, it's the last thing he needed, but he's always very happy to see me. But when I think about him, it drives me crazy, I have no control over the situation... he's 67 he's a very very strong person, he was in high spirits but.. I wish I could take it away, if anyone could message me and help me come up with conversation topics, it's hard to ask someone like that " how are you" or " feeling any better" .... I'm at a loss... it's hard to keep my health up ( depression) to see him... I wish there was something more I could do. I know no one deserves to die alone- so I'm goin to visit him as much as possible

Hello, I've never posted anything before so this is really strange waters for me. I'm currently writing a christian(faith) book "When the wheels fall off" It's a story of how God recently blessed me in showing me whats waiting for us after our physical death.It would take me 1,000 pages to try and describe the end game, or really the start of your true life.I had cancer, stroke,heart attack,partially blind, lost my wife the day I got home from heart surgery and lost millions of dollars to aponzi scheme(in one day) in California all within 5 to 6 months. I went from palm beach millionaire to 3 days away from living under a bridge. What I'm trying to say is death was always on my heels and scared.. I now embrace moving on knowing whats waiting for me. I try to help those to make that transition and show them no fear is necessary. Whats waiting for your loved ones can not be described with human words. It's like trying to explain calculus to a 2nd grader.It's hard to see the ones you so love leave you, understand that they are going home, there human journey is over and there true spiritual life awaits them..I've said this to many before, if I could I would trade places with you today.

Welcome rwilliam, and what a great story. I wish you much luck in the writing!