I guess i just really need to vent... June 2001 my Mom had a stroke which lead to 2 open heart surgerys it was a long road and I was her only caregiver as well as being a mother etc. after her stroke they had said that she would never have use of her hand again and have to be feed by tube etc. but we fought that with love, laughter and a very positive attitude, my father who had remarried many years ago had been diagnosed with parkinsons disease the year that he retired {20 years ago now} it was controled by meds and he did have surgery on one side of his brain and did very well untill a few years ago, long story short the batled ended on Sept. 1st although I feel that i mourned for him for the last 3 yrs because he no longer was the man that i knew and it truly was a blessing when the angels came and guided him home, i was and am still very sad angry etc. but here we are a few weeks later and my step mom has been diagnosed with lung cancer and maybe 3 months left..........i am angry confused and sad, I am not sure what to do....I don't know what to expect and most of all i don't know what to say to her when she asks me things like why etc. anyways it fells good just to peck this out and cry.......Any words of advise?
Dear 2confused,
Unfortunately, death is an unpleasant but unescapeable fact. I have learned that death seems to be a disconnection process; disconnection from this world, in preparation for the next. It will never be easy for those involved. Depending on the situation, sometimes its best to speak plainly about what is happening. My father had terminal cancer and died at home. There was a lot of crying, but we did not pretend that everything would be okay. Talk to your mom about what she's worried about. Don't forget to take care of yourself too. If you counseling, or some time off, do it. Don't feel guilty if you are unable to care for your mother yourself.
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