'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by Adela72 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Adela72 — Sun, 14 Nov 2010 18:21:46 -0000

KimL, I have read your posts and feel for you as well, i lost my dear mother to COPD on 9/12/10. I am glad to have found this site. I wish you strength and courage and thank you for posting. I also get signs here and there, even though we can't see them, our moms are with us always!

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by Missyoumom @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Missyoumom — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 01:20:38 -0000

Kim,

Missyoumom here and it is a year since my mom passed. Feels like just weeks. Yes, it is still very difficult. Still not right. I am just getting my life back to somewhat a normal again. Just getting back to at least having some routine. Mom is still in my thoughts every moment and I think about how I wish call her and what would I tell her. Just finished remodeling our kitchen and mom would have loved to see it. She went in hospital once it was gutted. I still cry a lot, but at least not every day. Just most. It is still a rough time. My husband said it never goes away totally. Life is different now. I just keep in mind mom said it will be ok and she wants me to smile when I think of her. We should find comfort in our memories and thoughts daily. Wishing you well, Missyoumom

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by KimL @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

KimL — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 16:31:34 -0000

Hello everyone, it has now been almost 9 months since I lost my mom and the holidays are upon us. I've been having some rough times off and on these past few weeks which I am sure is probably normal. Life without mom continues to leave a void that can't be filled by anyone or anything and I am starting to accept it. When you lose someone that is a central person in your life and in the family as a whole things will never be "normal" again. Our family describes this as our "new normal" and it isn't always easy to get use to although time helps.

I can say that although I am able to function in life there is never a day that goes by that I don't think of mom. What would she think of this? What would she do if she was here? Etc. I also once in awhile find myself forgetting that she is truly gone and think "Oh I wonder if mom and dad will be over tonight etc..." Then bang! The reality of mom gone comes back and hits me like a brick wall.

Our family has had so many life changing events in the past year that the life and reality I knew back in 2009 is completely different now. I mean it is unrecognizable! Sometimes I feel like screaming that "I want everything back the way it used to be".

Then I think of what my mother would say, "You can't go backwards, you can only go forward"

I think that as I move forward the pain of losing mom will ease but never go away and I think that anyone who loses someone should never stop talking about them no matter how hard it may be as it is through talking about them, keeping a few of their personal items around and displaying pictures of them is how you keep their memory alive for your family and for generations to come.

I have learned one thing and that is love is stronger and more powerful than death. Love never dies! Mom lives on within my heart and the hearts of each of the people who knew and loved her. Mom was here on this earth and she impacted many lives. She was an outstanding mother, wife and friend and we are all better for having had her in our lives.

Bless you all, Kim

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by Pam Dukes @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Pam Dukes — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 14:47:24 -0000

Hello Kim I have just read your message and I have experienced the same as yourself. My beautiful mum had COPD for ten years and sadly passed away 14th June 2010. I had seen her deteriorate right before my very eyes and she was also in and out of hospital for treatment all of the time. The worst was seeing her in pain which i would of done anything to of taken the pain away. I was very close to mum and loved her dearly and spent much time with her as i could. It was real hard as i am a nurse so i knew what was coming and what to expect but it doesnt prepare you,nothing can. We had a lot of discussions about when the end of her life came. Mum was fully aware and wanted to put things in place ready. We had put in place a DNAR which is a form to not to resusciate mum as she was a very spirtitual lady and she said she wanted to die when her time was ready and with respect and dignity. We also put in place a form to not to ventilate her as this is a machine that does the breathing for you. She did not want this and for her family to make end of life decisions for her. She also was under Douglas Macmillan nurses who could monitor her pain and she wanted to die in her own home. My advice to you although i know it hurts is just to be there for your mum and support her in everyway,as a daughter,spiritualy,care for her and listen to her. I used to get very upset and cry about what was going to happen. But you cant stop it, it is out of your hands and in the hands of God. I prayed to God before my mum passed away for when the time came to not let her suffer and let her go quickly, and to make me strong to be able to cope with it. God listened to me the couple of days before my mum passed i nursed her myself,i listened to her,told her how much i loved her and held her. I was there for her right to the very end. She passed away pain free as she had morphine, with respect and dignity, God gave me the strength. Although it was the hardest time of my life i knew that it was her time to go home to God and she would not be suffering anymore and she would be with my grandparents again. Pamxx

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by gibster @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

gibster — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 06:42:45 -0000

I'm still fighting the total rebellion of my body (insomnia, nausea, exhaustion and yet another bout of flu)and only get to this site sporadically. Right now, my eyelids are drooping which puts my spelling in peril. (A little smile.)

But I must say, I have so much respect for us all for finding our way in view of such incredible losses. Grieving really takes its toll on a person. It shakes up our world and can leave us feeling like we've had a limb ripped from our body. Most of the time I'm feeling a conflicting mess of sadness, guilt, rage, horror (at witnessing the gradual and then rapid deterioration of the brother I love so very much), fear (how will I ever live without him?), and then more rage because he was murdered. It's incredibly painful but coming to this site and reading about everyone else's struggles makes me feel like I'm still grounded even though I feel anything b-u-t that.

Take care everyone. If I can ever be a listener to anyone, I'm here. I guess that's what we're doing as we read each others stories. Anyway, I care about all of you and pray that we keep moving forward even if, for this second, it just means we get out of bed in the morning.

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by By God's Grace @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

By God's Grace — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 06:07:51 -0000

Dear Kim, I don't doubt what you say at all! God's ways are higher than ours. You are correct when you say it's PROFOUND. In His infinite wisdom He reaches into our finite minds giving us a blessed assurance that all is well. We know peace in a way no one else can understand. May He continue to bless and keep you in His loving care, so that you may be a living witness of His love and strength to those around you. God Bless. Deb

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by KimL @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

KimL — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 05:19:10 -0000

To everyone...

Today it has been 15 Days since my mom passed away. The first week I was a complete wreck and didn't want to go on at all. Something I can't explain happened to me during the first 3 days after her death that helped me to come back to life. I call them signs. Just moments before she was gone I whispered in her ear to some how let me know she was okay and that there is indeed a Heaven where we will meet again. Well, I think she showed me signs to let me know everything would be okay. One day soon I will tell you about them. Ever since I have been on a cosmic adventure for lack of a better term. For the first time in my life I believe in God, Jesus his Son and the Holy Spirit. I believe wholeheartedly that there is a Heaven and that she will greet me one day with open arms. This new found Faith has been unbelievable to me. It has been PROFOUND! PROFOUND I tell you!!! I have found a peace that I never knew existed. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will be with her one day for all eternity. I know that she is with me every moment of every day through my thoughts, memories and in the warmth of the sun upon my face. I'm in Wisconsin and every day for weeks it has been gloomy. The first day of REAL sunshine and beautiful blue skies was on her 1 week anniversary day, the beautiful weather lasted 3 days just as her signs did the week before. Yesterday was the 2 week anniversary and again it was just as beautiful of a day as the 1 week anniversary. I know some will say it is the grief talking and mind tricks but the signs I had were very REAL and very profound. I'm not talking about seeing things or hearing voices. I'm talking about things that just were very unexplainable. Soon I will reveal more but right now I am still absorbing everything. I am so blessed. Now it is my time to be strong for everyone else in my family and now I know I can be. I feel so different. I wish I could really explain it. I feel as if my Mom placed one of my hands into God's hand and the other into Jesus's hand so that I would survive. Even in death she is being my "Mommy" taking care of her little girl. Have faith in what you see, have faith in things you can't see, have faith that your loved one is STILL watching over you just as they did while here. I love you all, God Bless.

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by Missyoumom @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Missyoumom — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 04:21:09 -0000

Deb (By God's Grace) so sorry. Life will be very difficult for a while and it will take some time. Missyoumom (going on 5 mths and not much better but getting there slowly). Take care of yourself and family for her.

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by Missyoumom @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Missyoumom — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 03:55:01 -0000

KimL- Just read you reply and happy to hear your comments. Your reply in turn helps me back. Coping continues for some time for all of us and we help each other. Almost 5 months and I still have to tell myself it's ok to carry on. My drive home from work was listening to some "happy" music (for a change) and I was feeling pretty good and then... I remembered mom. How could I possibly be happy? then a tear came down, lost it for a moment and then thought "mom would want me to be happy". I must keep on convincing myself it is ok to be happy (even if for now it is only sometimes). I will get there. You will get there. We all will. Missyoumom. (so much) thanks Kim and everyone who felt the need to share their story and to help another cope.

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by marika @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

marika — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 06:26:03 -0000

I just came across this site and find it comforting realising what you are all going through. I am an only child and my parents adored me and lived just for me. My father died from emphysema 22 years ago. There were nebulizers but there is so much available nowadays and I feel so sad knowing he would have been so much more comfortable if they were available all those years ago. He used to tell me that he wished he had lung cancer as then he would have suffered just a short time while in his case he had suffered for years. It was heart breaking seeing him struggling for breath and I really feel for you. When he died he looked peaceful for the first time for so long. I still feel him near me and I still feel close to him. My mother has dementia and is in a rest home. It was impossible to keep her with us any longer. I go to see her practically every day and she still recognizes me. However, whenever she sees some one roughly with my appearance she thinks it's me. I spend my time with her saying the same things over and over . She says things like 'when I went shopping this morning ....'. She broke her hip a year ago and every day tells me 'I don't know why but today my leg is bothering me'. She lived for me and even now thinks only of me. When they get her her food she still can't accept that I'm not having a plate as well. When I give her some chocolates after a few minutes she tells me 'look I've bought you some chocolates' I know that when I leave she soon forgets that I've been. It upsets me when some one says 'So why do you bother ?' At least her character hasn't changed. There was a man at the home who used to smile at everyone. He used to take my hand and kiss it. Then when his children used to come he would glare at them and growl. It must have been heartbreaking for them. I once read that our role in life changes. From being cared for, we become the carers. The only thing that keeps me going is that she still knows me and often tells folk that I am her only daughter. What many people don't understand is that when a parent dies you get all that sympathy but when you lose a parent to dementia/alzhimers folk don't realise that you too have suffered a loss. Even when I plan something - a dinner party, a new kitchen etc - my mother would have been thrilled for me and done all she could to help me and nowadays I am all alone. To all of you who have managed to keep your loved one at home - I really admire you and it will be a huge consolation for you when they die. I wish I could have done the same but my husband would not even contemplate it.

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by KimL @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

KimL — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 16:04:34 -0000

Thank you everyone for being so supportive. I never thought I would make it one day let alone 11 days past my mother's passing away. It is for her and my family and yes I think even for myself that I keep going on. I noticed now I can think about her without tears, I even laugh again once in awhile. Nights are the worst for me because it was evenings that we were together most of the time. My Mom was like your Mom "MissYouMom", she always smiled and never stopped living until the day she died. She even WALKED into the hospital ER 3 days before we lost her instead of needing an ambulance. She lived her life the way she wanted to right to the end. She fought with all she had to stay with her family. How can I not do the same now in her name? I feel as though I am beginning to find a sense of peace. I bought a journal and began writing my feelings to her. Talking to her through writing just as I would have if she was sitting in the room with me. It felt good. This past weekend my dad and I spent both days going through their stuff. He is moving in with my sister next month so we had to get started. It seemed okay to do it this weekend. I found so many wonderful things she kept such as my baby pacifier, my baby rattle, school papers and crafts, report cards, a get well card where my aunt helped me sign when I was less than a year old. She kept things from all her kids, grand kids and great-grand kids. All these things were placed in a tote by Dad and I and will be given to the kids. The pain is still never too far away and I cry each day but I know that her arms are around me still and she is helping me every day. I love her so much and I want to wish her a Happy Valentines Day. So, I will. Right here. From all of us on this site to all of our Mothers and Fathers who are no longer with us, Happy Valentines. Thank you to everyone for the love and support you have given me. Each of you has made my grief a little easier to handle. I love you all!

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by By God's Grace @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

By God's Grace — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 14:02:40 -0000

Good morning , once again, to all. Mom no longer needs me as a caregiver. She is now smiling her beautiful smile with my Dad. They were once again together on Valentine's Day. Last Wednesday in the early morning hours, she left me behind. The demands of caregiving suddenly disappeared. I'm grateful she is no longer in pain and her mind is once again normal.I am relieved, yet empty. It's a new and strange life I now face. It's like leaving home, once again, to build a life of my own. By God's grace and with His strength, I kept my promise of "no nursing home". We will pay our final respects the day after tomorrow. I will be thinking of all of you then. You have shared your joys, pain, and sorrows with me. Thank you. I hope and pray that you will all find the strength, peace and rest necessary to continue in the loving care you now give. Know that you are not alone. Until we meet again, May God bless and keep you. Deb

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by Missyoumom @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Missyoumom — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 04:25:59 -0000

Just lost mom to COPD October 9th, 2009. Details that led up our in my story is on another discussion heading related to end stage COPD. It is so difficult to carry on (also no children)but what keeps me going is my mom who smiled all through her illness. She had the most positive outlook as she followed all doctor instructions. She never complained about it. (well, just a couple times!). She still tried to do everything no matter how tired she got. She wore her portable oxy all day, used her bi pap all night. Now that she is gone. I cry almost every day on my way to work. I cry over the slightest things that remind me of her, including going grocery shopping, which she enjoyed weekly. Even though it is months later, I miss her so. I just know that my tears for her are also with a smile for her. She would be very upset if she were to know that I remained saddened for too long a time and did not continue on (I am working on it still). When I visited her in the hospital it was my smile she commented on that cheered her up. As I cry writing this I smile for her. I have to also remember that she wants me to take care of dad. I can't do that if I let myself give up. Please continue to miss and be sad for your mom, but also, try to go back to your normal life FOR your mom. Your mom probably lived much of her life through you, now you can live through memories of her life.

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by gibster @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

gibster — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 23:15:18 -0000

I am in shock every single day to discover how e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d I am. Even after nine or ten hours of sleep.

It is driving me crazy! I'm taking extra vitamins, trying to eat nutritional meals, probiotics -- everything that would make a normal person bounce back.

Because of my health, I'm even too tired to read everyone's posts though I want to so much.

But I send love and friendship to all.

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by By God's Grace @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

By God's Grace — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 18:10:58 -0000

Hello Kim, I'm sorry I couldn't respond sooner. I, too, am losing my Mom. Not unlike you , I wonder where do I go from here? Have you spoken with your therapist? Do you have a minister you can call? There is nothing more difficult to deal with, after a loss, than the emptiness and lonliness, no matter how many people surround you. I'd give anything to be able to reach through this machine and be with you. I feel helpless. I can only pray that God will send someone to help. Everyone means well with kind words. Your parents raised a wonderful daughter! God has given you the strength to do what you have done, no doubt. You had a purpose. Now , you must take what you have learned and use it to find a new purpose in your life. God is my greatest source. My faith is strong, though I am weak, weary, discouraged and empty at times. I know He is there for me and will get me through it ALL. I am sure I can speak for many of us here. You are not alone, we are here to listen and help where we can. You have the support of others who share lives similar to yours. People here have helped me much more than my own family. You, Kim, have helped me, more than you can imagine. In time, I believe you will find another purpose to focus your energies on. Don't give up or give in to despair. Try to focus on your blessings. You had a time with your Mom that no one else did! You are still here. You woke up because you have life in you. Your life is precious and don't forget it! I pray some other Angel, like you, will reach out to help you see your worth and help you carry on. Please dearest Kim, keep in touch. I am grateful to know you and have learned much from you. May God bless and keep you in the shelter of His loving arms and guide your footsteps hour by hour and day by day, as He has done for me. My Mother always said, "This, too, shall pass." I will lose her shortly, but I will remember her gift of strength, love and support to go forth, no matter what!!!! Big Hugs and Prayers, Deb

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by KimL @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

KimL — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 06:24:49 -0000

I am having such a hard time getting through this and there have been times where I just don't think I'm going to make it. Sometimes I think would do almost anything to take away the pain.

I could never have kids of my own so all my attention was given to my parents. I feel like my purpose died when my mom did. My dad is going to live with my sister because she has a large room with its own bath and even a sitting area for him. Originally he was going to live with me and my husband. Although I know he will be more comfortable at my sister's house which by the way is only 7 houses down from my own house it feels like yet another "purpose" is gone.

If I'm not my parent's "caregiver" anymore... who am I? What do I do next? Where do I go from here? I am so lost. Even though I have my husband and my family and friends I feel utterly and completely alone in this world. I feel like there is nothing left.

I think I'm in trouble. I think that I need help.

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by sop832 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

sop832 — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 14:18:42 -0000

Dear Kim,

You could not have done more for your mom. I hope that you can realize that and it will comfort you in times of sadness. The hurt may never go away, but it should temper over time. I dislike cliches, but I believe that death is a transition to a better place where she doesn't have to take meds, she can breathe easily and can watch over you. Jean

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by By God's Grace @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

By God's Grace — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 13:50:12 -0000

Dear sweet Kim, You are an Angel sent to this site, as I am in your shoes right now, with my Mom. My heart aches and the tears blur my feeble attempts to type. You are blessed to have had the beautiful, though painful time with your Mom during her final hours. My Mom is in end-stage Alzheimer's. She hasn't known me for over 3 years. She was the family rock. Like you, I would never leave my parents, no matter how heavy or difficult the job of caring for them these last several years. Like Rayne said before this, I pray you have faith in God. He is there to take your hand and help you through this painful time. I watch my Mom on a baby monitor when I am not at her side. She is full bed care, 24/7. She is on morphine for pain and has stopped eating. I know she is slipping and I can't make her better. I am blessed by God to have cared for her, as she cared for the family in our younger days. Though I do this alone, most of the time, I know I'm not alone. I'm just the one God has prepared for this. You have my deepest respect and admiration for giving the care you have. Thank you for being here for me! Just sharing yourself and opening your heart to the healing hands of other Angels sent your way, will I hope, give you strength and comfort to know you don't walk by yourself through this often Lonesome Valley of Life. May God bless and keep you safe and strong. Sending love, prayers and big hugs your way. Deb

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by KimL @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

KimL — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 08:27:00 -0000

I wanted to say thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers. Mom passed away yesterday at 8:30AM after a series of heart attacks during those 24 hours prior to us losing her. I had the amazing gift to be with her throughout the night holding her hand each time her heart tried to take her from me. Up until th...e last few hours before the last two attacks she and I were able to talk and she patted me on the cheek and told me how happy she was that I was her child. These were precious moments for us even though we didn't know that she only had a matter of hours left to live. Towards morning she began to drift away into a coma with Dad and I holding her hands. She passed away peacefully with my Dad, sister, myself, all of her grand children and spouses surrounding her. Mom was never going to be ready to leave her family and she lived her life for us completely. She was a kind and loving woman who would give her own life for those she loved. She spent a very long 10 years with life changing COPD which later lead to her heart problems. She was my rock and I will miss her more than words can say. She will forever be with me, watching over me and helping me cope with the worst days of my life.

Today was very hard on me. I just wanted to let go and be with her.

I need help getting through this.

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by Rayne @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Rayne — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 04:47:54 -0000

Hi Kim,

I understand, but it is with my dad and mom, and now I have become very sick because of it. I took care of my dad with lung cancer and copd. He had copd for years, but was in denial. He loved golfing and could not walk the course for 7 years. His 4th wife divorced him at age 72, and she was 55, and all the life went out of him. He went into depression, but after living with me for 1-2 years, went to live in an apartment. He continued to smoke a lot , and visit my mom (the second wife who he never stopped loving). He got lung cancer in January 2006. I am single, and had some health issues. But fortunately for him, I was able to care for him. I should have been a paid caregiver, as it was too much for me, and I worked as an NP. But my job was easy, but then it left the state. I took on too much, and after my dad died my mom had a stroke 9 mos later. I took care of her, with caregivers as she wanted to stay in her apartment. My sisters wanted her in board n care. She is now doing well, but it took a huge toll on me. My sisters did not help, and then my dog was dying of cancer and my sisters did some things that really affected my health. I need to get my life back, as I developed anxiety and depression along with the health issues. I was used to working, and I do not have a good doctor, there is no trust there. My dad was my rock, but I realize that after that it was my dog and being validated. My dog died of cancer. She was my soulmate. I understand. I am still trying to recover as I have chronic health issues, and my career was lost. I pray to God for strength, and He will restore me. You hang in there. If you are spiritual, I realize your mom is your rock, as was my dad, and my dog, but God or your Higher power needs to be, so if your health goes, or any of the ups and downs in life happen, you will stay solid. Rayne

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by By God's Grace @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

By God's Grace — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 02:42:54 -0000

Sending hugs and prayers to all of you. My parents were heavy smokers before Alzheimers set in. They both had and Mom still has other medical problems. I lost my Dad a year ago. Being "Daddy's little girl" it was very painful for me to lose him. Dad was hospitalized with a physical problem and discharged after treatment, coming home on oxygen. I told Mom that because of that, smoking would be dangerous. She said, " We'll just have to quit." They were smoking a carton every two days! I cleared out all evidence of smoking. The dementia was beneficial. Dad asked for a cig on his arrival home. I told him he had quit and handed him a sucker. I should have bought stock in DumDum Lollipops!!! he never smoked again. Mom asked for one and I reminded her of Dad's condition and that she had quit. Her loving response was "Bull S--t!!!" She walked to the phone to call my brother to bring her some. Fortunately, she had forgotten how to use the phone. She came back and sat down and never asked again. Dementia was a blessing in disguise, at least for that. Caring for those whose minds are gone is painful to say the least.Mom is full bed-care now.By God's grace and with His strength I take one day at a time caring for her. 24/7 care is harder than anything I've ever known. This site has connected me with people like all of you. We share pain, frustration, sadness, anxiety and grief. I gather strength from all of you.I pray God gives you all the strength, rest, peace and support you need. Thank you for being here for me! You are not alone!!

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by btscooper2 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

btscooper2 — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 01:16:47 -0000

I hope all is going well with Kim & her mom. We haven't heard from her in awile

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by tcote @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

tcote — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 00:54:58 -0000

What state do you live in Kim?

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by KimL @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

KimL — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 02:59:19 -0000

You are all so wonderful and because of all of you I feel less alone in my fears and pain.

Thank you debilou for allowing me to see how my mother may feel being the one with COPD. It makes me realize that maybe I need to stop focusing on my pain and fears and help her work through her own.

My mom had a heart attack 2 weeks ago on Oct. 19th which was brought on by extreme stress caused by a family tragedy. This is the first heart attack she has had since her first one in 2002. She is now on more heart pills and we have bottles of Nitro everywhere. She has required nitro everyday for chest pain or arm discommfort. There is no surgery options due to her lungs so she is home and Nitro is all we have to stop another attack.

To help mom, I purchased a transport wheelchair and a walker with a seat and she FINALLY accepted using these tools. I explained to her that now she has more FREEDOM than she has had in the past 9 years. I told her now we can go anywhere and everywhere. She no longer has to walk and be so out of breath that she can't have a quality life. My husband and I took the wheelchair and walker to her house yesterday and she was actually EXCITED about them. I did not tell her I was getting them.

My husband and I told my parents that we want them to live with us when they are READY to live with us.

I think I am finally accepting the way this is going and I just want to spend as much time as I can with her and make her happy.

I need all of you and this site. It really helps me. I hope that I can help all of you as well.

Thank you

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by sop832 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

sop832 — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 01:25:13 -0000

Marysol and Anon,

Probably the best place to start is your mom's primary care physician

[PCP] They should be able to refer you to a social worker or a home health care agency. Or try your local social services agency or agency on aging. God love you for what you do everyday!

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'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by Missyoumom @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by KimL @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by Pam Dukes @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by gibster @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by By God's Grace @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by KimL @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by Missyoumom @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by Missyoumom @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by marika @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by KimL @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by By God's Grace @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by Missyoumom @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by gibster @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by By God's Grace @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by KimL @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by sop832 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by By God's Grace @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by KimL @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by Rayne @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by By God's Grace @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by btscooper2 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by tcote @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by KimL @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'Not ready to lose my mom to COPD...' posted by sop832 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}