I FIND IT INCREASINGLY DEPRESSING, KNOWING THAT WE HAVE LITTLE HOPE FOR A LONG "LIFE" TOGETHER, I FEEL GUILTY BECAUSE I FEEL THAT LIFE IS PASSING ME BY. MY BODY IS STRESSED AS I AM WORKING A FULL TIME JOB / HAVE NO HELP AT HOME. MY CHILDREN ARE GETTING THEIR LIVES STARTED AND I DON'T WANT TO BURDEN THEM WITH MY SITUATION. MY BROTHER TRIES TO BE THERE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, BUT I STILL FEEL ISSOLATED AND ALONE. HE HAD A STROKE LESS THAN 3 MONTHS AFTER WE GOT MARRIED, THAT WAS IN 1993. SINCE THAT TIME HE HAD A HEART ATTACK IN 1995 / DIAGNOISED WITH CHF IN 2000. HE NOW HAS BEEN DIAGNOISED WITH COPD. HE ALSO HAS SLEEP APNEA, ASTHMA, DIABETIES, AND DEGENERATIVE DISC DISEASE. I KNOW HE IS LIVING ON BORROWED TIME. I WAS RELEIEVED WHEN HE AGREED TO DO A LIVING WILL. I TOLD HIM I DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO MAKE THOSE DECISIONS ALONE. I AM THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO DOESN'T WANT TO ASK FOR HELP. I KNOW THAT JUST MAKES IT HARDER ON MYSELF IN THE LONG RUN. AM I WRONG IN FEELING THESE THINGS. I AM 50 YEARS OLD NOW AND I'M NOT READY TO BE AN "OLD LADY"
Hello, anonymous! I feel I understand when you say you aren't ready to be an 'old lady'. I am only 41 but have been reminded time and again, I'm officially "middle aged" and there's still so much I want to do!
It may be hard to ask for help, but DO IT. With all his health issues, you may well just be in need of a daily nurse to take care of so many of his needs. You aren't superwoman, and neither am I, and I've been teaching my family that I am not their maid nor servant nor am I the only one living here and they darned well will help. You have to speak up or others will think you have it in hand when you don't. You need time for you! Call for some help.
Receive the latest news and tips in your inbox