'My Grandma is dying & I'm confused' posted by debilou @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

debilou — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 13:25:45 -0000

My heart and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. How old is your Grandmother? I also have COPD and it saddens me to know that one day I also will have the problem of not breathing on my own. It is not I that will cry, but my husband, my children and my sister. I watched my mother leave this world before her time, one hour at a time, and it is something I would never wish on another.. my last picture of her in my mind, is not a pretty one, and I hate when it takes over my memory. You are there for your grandmother, in your heart and in your thoughts.. she will feel your love all around her in her finale days, even thro you may be hundred of miles away.. Keep her memory alive.. and smile whenever you think of her.. she will forever be with you from above...

'My Grandma is dying & I'm confused' posted by longwayfromhome @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

longwayfromhome — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 03:22:47 -0000

Sandy N, thank you. The nurse was called in this morning. She was having trouble breathing & they had to do several doses of morphine. One lung is not functioning at all & the other is about 20%. She has her oxygen in her nose but her mouth is open even when her breathing isn't bad. Her left hand & arm keep swelling and we figure it's because her heart is having to work so much harder. My mother finally admitted to me tonight that it was getting bad. She usually plays it like it's ok. So far, Grandma has made it past what everyone thought she would. My mother has been telling her today that my grandpa, her sister, maw & paw, and all of her other siblings are waiting to see her. To just let go. She hasn't had anything to eat & very little water in the past 2 days. She's sleeping a lot. The nurse said to just try to keep her sedated so that she won't be in too much pain. But she also said it could happen tonight, tomorrow night, next week or next month. Hopefully, it won't be much longer. This suffering has to end. She took care of so many people all of her life. Her own mother had a massive stroke & she lived with her & took care of her for 5 years. She is such a wonderful person & deserves to just go to sleep & pass peacefully! Thank you again for the reassurance!

'My Grandma is dying & I'm confused' posted by longwayfromhome @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

longwayfromhome — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 03:12:46 -0000

I do agree with you gakama, regarding being there. I was there when my grandpa died, her husband. It was sudden & we lived down there at the time. I was able to go visit at the end of July and had a nice visit with her. Two days later, she went downhill. My mother told me not to come. She says that Grandma doesn't want anyone to see her this way. The only people that she will allow to see her are my mom, dad, uncle & aunt. I sent a card about a month ago telling her goodbye. My mother read it to her & they both cried. Last week Mom held the phone up to her ear so that I could tell her that I love her. She didn't respond because it takes too much oxygen, but Mom said she smiled. She recognized my voice, which is good. Mom, my sister & I sound a lot alike. Thanks for your advice! I will keep your family in my prayers as well!

'My Grandma is dying & I'm confused' posted by SandyN @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

SandyN — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 11:54:11 -0000

I am a hospice nurse. And what you have been told is correct. As we approach death, our bodies shut down and we no longer require food and fluid. The dehydration that results from the reduced intake is actually thought to provide a form of pain relief for those at end of life. Any other symptoms your Grandma may experience can be managed effectively by the hospice nurses.
They really are the experts in dealing with end of life care. Take care.

'My Grandma is dying & I'm confused' posted by gakama @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

gakama — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 19:56:12 -0000

It sounds to me that you really do care... We are going through this in my family right now with our mother. My sister lives in another state and keeps saying she can't come out because of no money ~ I say b.s.! Put it on a charge card, borrow it, whatever, but be there!! If not for them, for you. Presence is the greatest gift of all. It will be the last gift you give.

'My Grandma is dying & I'm confused' posted by longwayfromhome @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

longwayfromhome — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 23:07:02 -0000

Thank you so much for your warm thoughts & your ear! Yes, there are hospice nurses that come at least 3 days. They have been so wonderful for my mother & grandmother. I am thankful that they come to help & guide my mother as she is caring for grandma. I talk to my mother daily just so that if she's upset or needs to vent, she can to me. I wish I could be there but unfortunately, I can't.

'My Grandma is dying & I'm confused' posted by Missy @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Missy — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 00:55:15 -0000

I'm heart goes out to you. It's so difficult knowing a loved one is dying, but even harder when you can't be there to assess the situation for yourself. I went through that with my grandmother.

I don't know the specifics of the final days with COPD so I can't tell you what's next. Though I'm wondering if hospice has been called in for your grandmother. They're amazing and can answer any quesitons you may have.

I'm sending warm thoughts your way. Losing a loved one is so hard.

'My Grandma is dying & I'm confused' posted by longwayfromhome @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

longwayfromhome — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 19:32:15 -0000

My grandma is in TN and is dying. My mother has been living with her & taking care of her since January. She has been taking mass amounts of morphine for the past month. Suddenly, she's no longer in any pain. The nurse said she's becoming dehydrated & that is part of the process. This happened on Friday. It's Sunday and she has not had meds in over 2 days. I live in WI and I cannot talk to the nurses or even go to see my grandmother. I love my grandmother with all my heart but can no longer stand to hear of the pain that she's going through. What can we expect next? I know that the Lord will take her when he's ready but I just don't know what to expect for her to go through next. She has COPD but they also believe it's possibly cancer. She's too ill to even do a biopsy. Can anyone help me?

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