We are at end stages with my Dad - this time is so hard. My younger sister told me that she & Mom had talked yesterday - my sister asked my Mom if she & Dad had discussed any funeral wishes my Dad had - my Mom said they had but that she was not going to honor his wish of a closed casket -I am stunned by this - my Mom is of the old school belief that you only gain closure if you see the dead body - My Dad has a ton of grandkids & even grand neices and nephews who are crazy nuts about him - this loss will be so hard on them - My sisters & i think a closed casket would be best - even if we have a private viewing before hand where it is OPEN- How do we approach my Mom on this?
Kaya
i was 15 when my first nana passed althought it was hard for me i kepet it toghether. my younger brother @ 12 couldnt. I guess age maturity and how they were raised on death wold be a big part of my decision.
As far as mom's disision not to horner her husbands final requests, idont agree, perhaps dad has thought about how hard it would be for the young ones,and is trying to spare shock for them. But comming from the old school,time tested ways of habit might be the only way mom can close.
I stand by my seeing that funerals for the passed are held only for the people who remain to honor
his life but even if its not dads wishes,it may be what mom needs, brace the children or arrange seperate viewing. and talk to mom about the younger generations feelings,and ask her to try to compromise for the sake of "honor"
be strong,, peace
While I didn't have this issue with my father's funeral (he was cremated), the night he died my sister arrived after I did and she thought she'd go see him. We'd left him the night before, laughing, all of us, and that's how I chose to remember him. I expressed that to my sister - what do you want your last memory of seeing him to be? Our laughter last night, or cold and gone today?" She chose not to see him after all and so we both have this wonderful memory of our father laughing mere hours before he was gone.
Perhaps approach her that way - have a viewing for those who wish it, but for those who want to remember him in laughter and love, they shouldn't be forced to see him lying in a box.
This is purely my opinion, but maybe it will help.
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