'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by southernwoman @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

southernwoman — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 16:38:58 -0000

Good morning, and Happy Thanksgiving...I'm cooking dinner, but decided to leave and answer you. We're all here for you, and without this site and the friends I've made, only God knows what I'd do. I have not scrolled down and read all their parcels of advice...and I know they're all good...as I said, they're my lifesaver.

Get yourself a new dr., a primary internal med. man/woman who is not necessarily a gerontologist...just one whose patients are primarily over 70. That's what ours is, and I wouldn't take him for anything. He's thorough, and if he thinks we need a specialist of some kind, he hands you a name and number...someone he knows well. We've never had to use that. Then, basically start all over. It may sound easy for me, but I have no help, my husband is 84 and I'm 68...he uses a walker because of spinal stenosis, and he has moderate to severe dementia. Yes, he once fell out of a chair, talked out of his head, dr. put in hospital, ran tests, put on antibiotics, insisted he drink plenty of water everyday. In fact, I'm going to the drugstore when I finish typing this. Turned out, he had a Urinary Tract Infection. Hospitalized for a week, and I know no one cried when we left. He was a pistol! Just out of his head. BEING DYHYDRATED will do it to you, esp. if you're that age.

I'm sorry you and your loved one have been through all this...bottom line is you have to get one good doc who will work with you, one who has experience with older people. Keep it as simple as possible, as you're going to need your energy.

Be blessed, and may you find peace in this. Southern Woman

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by GLENDA FROM LEBANON,KENTUCKY @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

GLENDA FROM LEBANON,KENTUCKY — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 16:04:05 -0000

SOUNDS LIKE BEGINNING ALZHEIMERS. THAT IS ONLY MY THOUGHT..AFTER MY HUSBAND HAD A FALL IN THE KITCHEN, HE WAS SITTING AT THE TABLE AND JUST WENT OVER IN THE FLOOR AND HIT HIS HEAD & HAD 7 STITCHES AND WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR 2 WEEKS THEN THE NURSING HOME FOR 1 MONTH. I STAYED WITH HIM AT NIGHT AS THEY DIDN'T WATCH HIM WELL, THE NEXT FEB. THE DR TOLD ME IT WAS THE BEGINNING OF ALZHEIMER'S. I ASKED HIM HE DIDN'T JUST TELL ME. BUT MAX HAD BEEN REPEATING THINGS FOR A LONG TIME AND DOING THINGS THAT WERE TYPICAL OF AN ALZHEIMERS PATIENT, ANY WAY HE WENT THRU SUINDOWNERS STAGE, BEING AGITATED LASTED FOR A LONG TIME BUT MEDICINE HELPS THAT SO IT IS A LONG LONELY ROAD WHEN YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THERE. I HAVE A SITTER THAT STAYS WITH HIM OF THE DAY WHILE I WORK THEN AOF THE EVENINNG & NIGHT I TAKE CARE OF HIM.

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by Jaybird69 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Jaybird69 — Sat, 21 May 2011 15:56:18 -0000

dgilette, I have been experiencing the same issues you have but before you decide or even think about Live-in-Care. My very close friend with hungry children had her medicated and she did not know what the hell she was signing, so Live-in-Care was brought in and if you think things are bad now, wait till one of those comfort keepers comes on shift with an empty bag and shift change it takes a dolly to get it out. I will have to say that it with her there has been no weight loss, still active, she has interests that she takes part in. She still bathes herself,feeds herself so it sounds like they might have you in the wrong box. I can't say educatedly because I am no M.D. but I observe her and the things surrounding her, I can tell what kind of mood she is in by her looks, so if you find needing that break, go Private Individual. Agencies tend to create a bigger problem than the 1 we are already having to understand.

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by lovez,daddy @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

lovez,daddy — Thu, 19 May 2011 04:07:41 -0000

my dad also had many test his brain has srunk conciderabitly and all tho i did not live with him always called him and noticed his behaveral changed in december.forgetting that he just spoke to me for an hr the nite before.Saying his girlfriend who had alzimhers was cheating on him I KNEW THAT WAS'NT right she had to many problems for that,got me a plane and flew out there as soon as possible the nite before i was to leave he had a bad car wreck and hit a tree.If he would of hit a car head on he would of killed him self or someone else.I KNEW RIGHT AWAY SOMETHING WAS WRONG!!!! thought it was from the crash tho and now he is living with me he knows he wants to go back ,but the drs. there wanted to put him in a.l. always told him he would never go to one.SO we are learning as we go yes he has dementia,yes we took lots of tests,and one day at a time everyday my dad gets to wake up to a new day,but I don't I GET TO LIVE WITH THE BAD DAYS BUT THANK GOD FOR LETTING ME SPEND TIME WITH HIM,its not easy but we don't let him see that,try to laugh a bit and get threw another day.TINA &DAD

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by Old flames @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Old flames — Fri, 13 May 2011 10:22:14 -0000

My dad 85years old but very alert and NO signs of dementia. But he cannot tolerate strong pain killers or anxiety pills. The make him extremely confused. Tried explaining this to his doctor. Every time the med would wear off, Dad was mentally stable again. He developed pneumonia that need to be treated in the hospital. My self-serving step mother had him transferred (using the dementia diagnosis as her perfect alibi) had him transferred from ICU in the hospital. To hospice where he was he was given no treatment for pneumonia. At hospice they kept him so heavily medicated that he could not even drink from a straw. You can't ask for food or water if you are kept sedated to the point you sleep continuously. This lead to starvation, dehydration and death. Please find out what medications your loved ones are on and read about the side effects. Many medal cause symptoms of dementia. I did not have power of attorney therefore I could not stop me beloved Dad from being murdered. Doctors make mistakes but my younger step mother didn't want to be bothered to take care of him as his health would eventually decline, things worked out perfectly for the money hungry murderer. Now she gets his pension and other benefits, all of the inheritance. How much money is enough for some people. How can people sleep at night after ding such horrific things. She knew the meds were causing Dad's dementia. I printed out all of the side effects of his meds given him inu hospital. But I did not know this was plan for him. This is the first time he had ever been sick in his 85 years of life. Please keep close watch on the MEDS given your loved ones although if you don't have POA you're fighting a losing battle.

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by Chis @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Chis — Wed, 11 May 2011 04:35:36 -0000

Dear Friends -- The Bible tells us "ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free" How true! I have been dealing with my wife's condition for over three years. I've taken her to phychiatrist, neurologist and psychologist. No answers to a diagnosis. She has had CT, MRI and EEG. Still no diagnosis! Her PC Doctor and mine are the same. I made an appointment with her last week and asked her what my wife's condition is. She is a great person and she looked at the computer screen and wrote me a note which read frontotemporal dementia. She said look that up. I did that and found out that is called Pick's desease and it has all of the Alzheimer's symtoms The difference being the order in which they occur. In Pick's desease a personality change takes place first followed by memory loss,cognition loss and so on. This I believe to be true. There are many kinds of dimentia so I believe you should try to get an accurate diagnosis. There is no medication for Pick's desease. Progression of the stages of dimentia only get worse in my opinion and believe me when I tell you I read all about this for hours evey day. It has become an OBSESSION with me. Chis

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by Anonymous @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Anonymous — Sun, 08 May 2011 17:21:59 -0000

thank you so much ,,,god bless you everyday ,,don,t tell your dad about his cancer ????hes going threw alot allready,,,,my husband i will not tell him about dem and allt. he would do something too him self ,,,god bless you keep in touch

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by lovez,daddy @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

lovez,daddy — Thu, 05 May 2011 06:38:04 -0000

hello, I DON'T KNOW IF THIS WILL BE OF ANY HELP,BUT YOUR NOT ALONE.I TOO FOUND MY DAD LIKE THAT HE LOST 21 PDS IN 7 MONTHS.I USALLY GO VISIT ONCE A YEAR BUT RECIEVED DISTURBING CALLS ABOUT 6 MONTHS AFTER MY LAST VISIT.I ARRIVED TO FIND THAT MY DAD HAD BLACKOUT AND RAN HIS CAR INTO A TREE WITH NO MEMORY OF THE CRASH I ARRIVED IN TIME TO NURSE HIM OVER HIS WRECK.LIKE YOU TOOK HIM TO MANY DR. APPT.TO GET THE AWEFULL NEWS THAT HE HAD SAVERE DEMENTIA.I TOO WAS ALONE I WONDERED HOW I WAS GOING TO MOVE HIM BACK TO ARKANSAS TO MY HOME AND FAMILY. HE WAS A SHELL OF THE MAN I HAD SEEN ON MY LAST VISIT I WAS SHOCKEDTO FIND HIM GIVING HIS MONEY AWAY TO A SO CALL FRIEND WHO I HAD TO GET A ODER OF PROTECTION ON TO KEEP HIM FROM TAKING MY DAD ON 5 HR RIDES NOT KNOWING WHERE HE WENT WHEN HE CAME HOME.I KNEW I HAD TO GET HIM OUT OF AZ BUT HE DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE.I HAD TO SEDATE FOR THE TRIP HOME DR.S WANTED HIM IN A HOME BUT HE IS STILL ABLE TO HOLD A CONVERSATION HE KNEW WHO I WAS AND COULD NOT JUST DROP HIM OFF IN A HOME WITHIN 2 MONTHS HE WAS DEEMED INCOMPANT AND DRIVERS LIC. REVOKED BY DR.S.SO HE IS HOME WITH ME EVERYDAY IS A STRUGGLE TO GET THREW .....BUT HE IS STILL HERE AND ALIVE AND EVERY MINUTE I TRY TO ENJOY WHAT TIME I HAVE LEFT WITH HIM,P.S. HE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH BLOOD AND BONE CANCER I HAVE NOT THE HEART TO TELL HIM AND HE WOULD FORGET ANYWAY ALMOST NO SHORT TERM MEMORY....HE'S MY FATHER STILL AND WILL MAKE THE BEST OF EVERYDAY I CAN HOPE THIS WAS SOME COMFORT KNWING YOUR NOT ALONE AND DON'T BE SCARED I WAS NOW I'M NOT.....TINA

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by eb2 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

eb2 — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 16:44:06 -0000

This is "ask for a second opinion" conversation is very interesting to me. My mother fell in July and broke her hip, she had surger the next day and was transferred to the local skilled nursing facility the same week. I was advised she was suffering from anesthesia induced dementia (which I had never heard of, although I knew there were dangers with the elderly and anesthesia).
About the second opinion, I asked the SNU to make an appointment with mom's personal doctor so she could verify the dementia diagnosis since I need to spend down her finances to make her elibible for Medicaid. The staff seemed to question my wanting to take her to personal doctor, and I told them the local Office of the Aging told me to take her to a doctor that was not affiliated with the SNU. After going round and round they agreed to make the appointment. The van driver called me and said when she called to make the appointment the doctor agreed to verify the diagnosis without seeing mom.
This seems strange to me, when I called to ask if she would give a second opinion I had to make an appointment, she wouldn't discuss it over the phone. When the van driver called to make an appointment she said it wasn't necessary, she would verify the diagnosis. Has anyone reading this had a similar experience? My brother and sister are satisfied with the diagnosis of dementia, and when I talked to the doctor to ask if she would give a second opinion she told me I was my mother's only advocate, and I had to start advocating for her.

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by reeselv@yahoo @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

reeselv@yahoo — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 08:27:43 -0000

I have 4 different self exams with directions and answers. My email is Reeselv@yahoo.com I will email anyone that needs them just let me know!

Self-Administered Gerocognitive Examination (SAGE TEST) Administration and Scoring Instructions SAGE is a brief self-administered cognitive screening instrument to identify Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) and early dementia. Average time to complete the test is 15 minutes. The maximum score is 22. A score of 17 and above is considered normal. Administration: The test is self-administered. It should be filled out in ink without the assistance of others. Inform the examinee that there are four pages to complete. Calendars and clocks should not be available during the testing. Do not answer specific questions. Just say, “Do the best that you can”. Non-Scored Items: Demographics Insight: Have you had any problems with memory or thinking? Family History Motor symptoms Stroke symptoms Depression symptoms Personality changes Functional abilities

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by night owl @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

night owl — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 17:06:57 -0000

my heart goes out to all of you. As much as I have been opposed to medical professionals using computer links to record our medical iinformation i have also found it a blessing. I have found some really good doctors who are willing to use this system to cordinate my father in laws health care. any report can be read by all of his doctors and I can send emials about behaviors and cencerns that I have. I can look up lab results; schedule appoitments from home and not have to be on the phone going through voices that eventually end up hanging up or miscnnecting. That too is so much better at this clinic/hospital. I do feel blessed. Also I have gotten to the point as much as it is an inconvience and embarrasment for all parties; my father in law no longer has an exame of any type without my being present. even with all the paper work in order as many of you have stated you have; the medical profession; due to confidentiality laws; can not talk to any one other than the patient. My MIL even signed papers at the office for them to speak with us but on the phone they have to spend an extra 5 minutes looking it up; The neurologist who is now caring for my FIL's Alz; as a new patient this was the third visit; has stated what i have said for years; he may not have alz or dementia; just an old man with growing infermaties; since the death of my MIL; FIL has had significate memory imporvement. My MIL was a very verbally abusive women who used the medical system to get people to "take care of her" "to do for her" If it wasn't for this link up in the systema and my insisting on being in on every conversation I think he would have gone on with this diagniosis with out reinvestigation. b what I would like to know is what is a SPEC scan and a PET scan? I am getting ready to schedule a CAT scan since the Alz diagniosis was made with out one (only on MIL's word to a small town PCP. Again my heart goes out to all of you; this has been a long hard road for me; all the different doctors not sharing or talking and MIL can't remember long enough to repeat anything they say; but if it is repeated back to him he does remember even after being diagniosed over 8 years ago. we took the car away over 5 years ago due to poor jusdgement; we told him it was goin gin for repairs; he asked about it for a few years. he is still not advancing in memeory lose or dody function loss; how can that be? Any way; he lives with us now and is not just seeing a PCP who satisfies our MIL just to get her out of the office. Social services in there small town didn't help us protect him either.

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by macbenni @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

macbenni — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 12:11:11 -0000

I just discovered this website so, even though my reply is late, I feel compelled to share my story which is so similar to yours. I am weeping as I write this and I apologize in advance that I cannot bring you any more comfort than your doctors are providing you information. When my Dad passed she was terrified to lived alone so she sold her beautiful home and moved into an assisted living facility (this was her choice, not mine, she refused to live in my home as it did not meet her impossibly high standards.)In addition to taking her to all of her doctor &hairdresser appts,grocery shopping etc,she called me several times a day and these calls became more and more bizarre:She couldn't understand her finances, she couldn't understand her mail.Then she started "panic calls" where she claimed the food preparers were poisoning her. When I took her grocery shopping she hoarded cleaning supplies and refused to buy food. I would sneak food in and return to find it unopened and uneaten. The doctor performed tests and found nothing wrong with her but she was positive she was being poisoned and refused to eat.Shortly thereafter,I received a call from the manager of her apartment complex that they had found her on the floor, incoherent and advised me to rush to the hospital to be with her. The hospital doctors diagnosed her as dehydrated and malnourished. They rehydrated her with an I.V. because she refused to put anything in her mouth. She became more angry & disoriented and eventually did not even know who I was, refusing me entry into her room on the basis that she had no children and no sisters and had no idea who I was. No other family members offered any financial, emotional or physical support to either of us and so, I sat and watched my mother essentially commit suicide.I was confused but the doctors had no answers. When the time came for the decision to insert a tube to force feed her, it was the most difficult decision to make in my life and I had to make it alone. After much soul searching and prayer, I ultimately decided to say no to force feeding her. I felt that at age 82, utterly miserable with her life, alienated from everyone but me,I would not force her to continue living as it seemed she was choosing to die. Much to the doctors' amazement, she continued to live for two months. When she passed I,alone, made her funeral arrangements. She left her money, life insurance,everything, to the the son of my brother who had not spoken to her in over 20 years.Needless to say I had to pay for her funeral. I was stunned when the cause of death was determined to be extreme dementia and starvation. In retrospect, I cannot believe I was so clueless,but she was so physically healthy and I was rather consumed with my own severe health issues. Not a day passes that I don't rerun the situation in my mind,thinking of all of the things I should have done. Again, I apologize for offering you no relief but perhaps you won't suffer through her illness with as much confusion and loneliness as I did. My prayers are with you.

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by sunnyone301 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

sunnyone301 — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:48:29 -0000

I have a feeling that I might be getting Alzheimers. I forget things; can't remember names; forget what I am doing; have to write everything down and yet forget where I put the note. I will be 70 in December and was diagnosed with diabeties 4 months ago - not on any meds for that yet. Otherwise I have good health and work part time to pay the bills. What should I do? I know I should talk to my doctor and I will. Do you think I might have Alzheimers or Dementia?

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by EMPI @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

EMPI — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 01:50:37 -0000

Have you considered a PET scan? http://www.petfoundations.com/eastmemphis/

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by Snoopy @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Snoopy — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 19:48:00 -0000

I was looking for information on my Mother's Alzheimer’s diagnosis and found your post. Your first description of her not being able to walk, but shuffling makes me think immediatly of NPH - Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus. I used to work for Medtronic Neurosurgery, a medical manufacturing company. We made shunts for Hydocephalus (water on the brain) and I learned about NPH - google it and see what you think. There is treatment for this.

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by 2ndGoRound @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

2ndGoRound — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 10:44:45 -0000

No. Often, a person can survive for years with it. When it comes to how long a person can survive with ANY medical condition the only finally determinate is almight God. That's it that's all. Anything else is B.S.

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by LauraL @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

LauraL — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 03:17:50 -0000

I don't believe so. Dementia patients can live for years in this condition. Here's some more information on this: http://www.caring.com/questions/stages-of-dementia

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by burned out @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

burned out — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 23:17:27 -0000

i heard with dememtia they only have a couple months to live is this true

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by JoannD'Ag @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

JoannD'Ag — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 23:50:22 -0000

I understand your confusion about your Mom. My father will not go to any Dr. for anything, his dementia is so terrible,especially his behaviors. My mom is at her wit end, we as a family do not know what to do?

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by RobinD @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

RobinD — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 16:24:35 -0000

An overdose and miss use of red tape? It angers me that these people are in control of his medical issues, yet when we ask, we get these answers.

I guess it all boils down to getting a doctor that will work WITH you. Hard but not impossible. I feel for you. I was lucky and my parent's doctors worked with me first and assisted whenever asked.

You have friends here.

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by Meiho @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Meiho — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 00:38:11 -0000

Good point. I don't know the answer. My father's gerontologist, who diagnosed dementia after a cursory screening test, referred my dad to DMV on the basis of MY letter to him about my father's unsafe driving. DMV sent my dad some forms to be filled out, and my dad took them, not to the gerontologist, but to his primary care physician, who said he was "physically able" to drive. My dad is confused about why DMV is saying he has a "medical condition" that may prohibit him from driving, when his PCP and ophthalmologist proclaimed him "safe" to drive. The gerontologist is not "treating" the Alzehimer's, much to my dismay.

What we have here is (1) my dad, who is not sophisticated in these matters, but very "compliant" when someone tells him to do something or not do something, (2) the gerontologist, who gave a gross screening test and proclaimed my father to have "dementia, probably Alzheimer's type," (3) my father's Primary Care Physician, an endocrinologist who treats his diabetes and is foreign-born and may not be knowledgeable about American systems (I'm not being prejudiced, merely factual), and (4) an ophthalmologist who only looks at my father's eyeballs. No one is looking at his mind and his judgement. He has not yet been given an on-the-road test, only a written test, which he failed by 3 points. Of course, he blamed the wording of the questions for his failure, not his own confusion.

He is supposed to go to DMV next week, so we'll see what happens.

This is a classic case of the medical professionals all looking at their own little specialty and not talking to each other. I have tried to get in the middle of this, but they won't talk to me (despite my father having a valid HIPAA authorization for me to have access to his medical records and talk to the doctors). They can't charge anyone for a phone conversation with me, only for appointments with my dad!

I even took all my dad's medical records to a gerontologist at my HMO for her to review. She said I have done everything possible, but she (a friend and fellow book club member) was unwilling to call any of my father's doctors (again, because she couldn't get paid for the time spent making those calls). Grrrrrrr.

So, I doubt that I could get my dad's gerontologist to intervene when he is on shaky ground in his diagnosis and defers to my dad's PCP.

What's wrong with this picture?

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by jfinzel @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

jfinzel — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 21:27:40 -0000

Meiho I was curious, when it is a case of impaired judgment and not a "physical" limitation, if there may be an appeals procedure for Michigan where the doctor treating the Alzheimer's could present the information again on why they are recommending no drivers license for your father?

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by RobinD @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

RobinD — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 02:48:13 -0000

Let me clarify myself; the doctor should diagnose the patient correctly and advise them directly with someone as a witness. Unfortunately, they grasp very little in the office, so the family member is usually the one explaining the diagnosis. I completely agree; fire that doctor and now. Many doctors, more often than not, look at the senior population as a lost cause (they'll die anyway, right), so why waste time? They give them pills and send them on their way. When you get involved with specialists, none of the doctors communicate. So the caretaker takes on the job as mediator as well.

Nanny cams are a necessary evil; they catch so much more than you would ever imagine and are a great tool. Any step you can take to protect the patient must be taken. To hell with anyone that stands in your way in keeping your loved one safe.

I suggest a living will that normally includes all documentation including a power or attorney, right to die with dignity (do not resuscitate) and conditions and directions if the patient can no longer be responsible or voice their concerns or needs. It is a document that almost always stands up in court. It is better than having individual documents all over the place. Have an attorney you TRUST draw up the document for you. It protects your rights as the caregiver, and gives you powers that cannot be contested in normal situations. I have a background in law and have been an executor of a trust (not a nice job) and it has helped immensely. There is no question as to the patients requests, even if they no longer have a voice.

I cannot stress enough the part your doctor will play in this scenario. Also keep a book charting the patients progress, daily routines, diet, etc. to fall back on and take that to the doctor on visits. Use a recorder during the appointment, so you can concentrate on the details and play back for confirmation.

In a small town, you might have to drive a distance or move your father closer to you to get better treatment. Believe me, you want your doc on your side. Many doctors give meds that taken together cause side affects that CAN mimic dementia or alzheimer's. I questioned my mother's meds on her first visit with a new doc. He about blew his top since some meds were duplicates.... It's like taking care of a child, but the issues are so much larger.

Legally cover your butt so you are above question and that gives you the right to review their medical records. Seniors are taken advantage of so many times, it can be stunning to watch. After my mother broke her hip (not in my care), and moved to a nursing home, I went in at 7am one day (surprise visit) and found her naked, lying in her own feces, pieces of diaper strewn around her bed; she was shaking and cold. I could have been arrested for what I did to the head nurse (and yes, I lost control). I moved her out of there the next day and put her into a private home with her own personal caregiver to bring her back to health. It disgusts me that this happens.

So be on alert, make the doctor toe the line; they work for us, not the other way around. Your voice counts - if it doesn't make sense to you, you have the right to question it until it does.

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by Meiho @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Meiho — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 22:32:02 -0000

As I've said in several of my posts, I have ALL the paperwork in place. My dad has been very cooperative in getting that done over the past several years. I showed everything to his attorney and he agreed that we have all those corners tucked in. My dad has even prepaid his funeral and literally helped build the niche in the columbarium in the basement of his church where his ashes will reside.

I've been worried about the finger pointing, but everyone I know says I've done everything I can do to this point and done it legally and in a morally responsible fashion. That's not an issue!

The primary concern right now is the driving issue. If he doesn't get his license back (which I hope he won't), I'm working on getting him transportation to church and doctors' appointments, etc. One of the ladies at his retirement home (who is relatively young and safe) has offered to drive him some places and the priest at his church is rounding up other church members. IF the state says he can continue to drive, well, there's not much I can do about that except appeal to his background as a safety engineer and encourage him to quit. It's an on-going process.

He lives in a relatively small town and there is only one gerontologist, so firing him isn't a great option until/unless I can find someone better.

I can tell that you are passionate about "getting it right" as I am, and I do appreciate your input and ideas.

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by CLC @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

CLC — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 22:07:20 -0000

Meiho, fire that doctor. I know it's a pain in the neck for you, but you need a team player and he/she is not. Geriatric specialists, good ones especially, are hard to find because it is not glamorous and doesn't pay as well as other medical specialties.

One of the reasons I have demanded that a medical practitioner be involved in explaining DNR,Advanced Directives, Healthcare POA, and explanation of diagnosis is that I do not want anyone ever pointing a finger at me claiming I unduly influenced my father in any of his life decisions. I may confer with his medical specialists beforehand, but I want them to explain to him what is going on. If I then need to paraphrase to his level in their presence I will, but I also want to protect myself from any witchhunt. Sad but true.

Recent Posts in 'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' | Caring.com

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by southernwoman @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by GLENDA FROM LEBANON,KENTUCKY @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by Jaybird69 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by lovez,daddy @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by Old flames @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by Chis @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by Anonymous @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by lovez,daddy @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by eb2 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by reeselv@yahoo @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by night owl @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by macbenni @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by sunnyone301 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by EMPI @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by Snoopy @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by 2ndGoRound @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by LauraL @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by burned out @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by JoannD'Ag @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by RobinD @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by Meiho @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by jfinzel @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by RobinD @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by Meiho @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

'How do you know it is Alzheimer's or Dementia for sure?' posted by CLC @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}