My grandma..she is supposedly going to pass away soon, I am so scared, worried, and upset all at the same time. I can never get to sleep anymore for like the past two weeks. My family is very emotional ( her son and my other sister) and they don't handle emotion well at all so they keep it inside and cry at night. Ted her son...cries and he is in his sixties. It kills me so much, but it I cry or anything...i would be letting them down..I need to be strong, but one look at her while i try to feed her or get her to drink something and i have to leave b/c the water just streams down my face and it won't stop.
She has Ahlztimers...and she is so..so sick right now, and i can't think right, and I don't know what to do. I want to pray, but then I am afraid to pray, i want to sleep but i can not sleep.
I want to comfort my grandma and my family..that way i can be comforted...my family is everything to me.
I don't know what to do?
Hi there,
First, (((HUGS))). This is a sad and stressful time for all of you. It is ALL RIGHT TO CRY. It's ok - it's natural and a way of relieving this stress. It's ok. If you need, stand in the shower while it's running and cry there - I know I let a LOT of my stress over my father's passing this way.
It's OK. Strong doesn't mean unfeeling. It's knowing your limits and doing what you can.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. It's never easy and at times it will be so very hard. Know that she won't be hurting and if you believe in an afterlife/heaven, well, then there she will be, at peace and smiling over you and watching over you. This I do believe - they are not gone, they are merely changed - left their organic body for a new one that we just can't see yet.
Please do take care of yourself - and that includes letting go those tears once in a while. Let us know how you are doing - we are here.
~LauraL
I'm so sorry about your grandmother! *hugs* One thing I want to add to what Laura said is that often someone is just waiting for someone else to break down so they can. How can you be there to cry on each others' shoulders if no one is crying? You know? Plus, I had read once that folks in the end stages of life someimes find comfort in their loved ones expressing emotion about their impending death. To be absolutely frank, I'd be MAD if I was about to die and no one seemed upset. You know? And I know your said your grandmother has Alzheimer's, but you never know if she has moments of lucidity.
My advice to you is to let it flow. You are going through something huge. Holding it inside must be unbearable. *hugs* Don't hold back your tears and don't apologize for being upset. I would almost bet that if you let someone else see you being emotional, they would open up.
Please keep us updated. I'll be thinking about you.
