Who do you want to take care of you someday?

I've barely started thinking about this myself. Of course you don't want to imagine yourself as a burden on your kids in their adulthood -- but I have a feeling one of them would be much better at the job than the others. Still, who knows how much choice I'll have when the time comes -- much will depend on their individual circumstances and responsibilities. I don't know how to plan ahead for this, other than trying to set myself up so that I can be in a decent facility so that none of the family members are required to handle 24/7 care. That's what my own parents have always aimed for, but I don't know if I'll be able to manage that.

 On the day our fourth daughter was born my husband, who had wanted a son, said that Well at least there's another likely candidate for someone to look after us in old age. I know it's not always the daughters who give care but I wouldn't want to have to depend on DILs.

My older daughter!  She's got such great patience and kindness.  Though, I'm a realist.  I hope if the need comes when I need to live in an assisted living or nursing facility I'm open minded about it. 

I am 51 years old and tease my two children all  the time about who will care for me when I am older.  They tell me that my daughter will have me over the holidays.  She does not like to cook and I do!  Got that one figured out but seriously, my wife and I plan to willingly move to a retirement community as we age that would convenient to our children.  Who knows where they will land long term!  Why would I want to burden and worry them by living with them and adding to their stress in life?  My kids have both worked in eldercare while in high school and loved it.  I know they are good with older adults and not afraid to love them, but I don't want to put pressure on them to care for me.  I know I will have significant health issues.  I have already had a triple bypass last year at age 50.  Health issues seeminly plague my life.  I don't want to burden my two wonderful kids in the days ahead.

A number of years ago I purchased Long Term Care Coverage for my wife and spouse.  I t will cover the both of us for life.  If you haven't purchased it you should.  Check with your financial planner or ask your children for assistance. If you are a senior now you should also look into a medical alert system for your home.

Check www.silverseniorcare.com [silverseniorcare.com]. for ideas

I should have said I purchased Long Term Care Coverage for myself and my wife. 

(Not very good with a key board)

Yikes. A good one. I am 55, an only child, and childless. My husband is 62.......We are terrible procrastinators anyway, and really do not want to deal with this. He is oldest of 3 sons to take care of his mom, maybe something in this journey will speak to us of what we should do for OUR time.

To be quite honest, I am resentful of taking away from the TODAY of our last good years to worry about the TO COME of our decline. Yet, of course, we SHOULD.

Yikes. A good one. I am 55, an only child, and childless. My husband is 62.......We are terrible procrastinators anyway, and really do not want to deal with this. He is oldest of 3 sons to take care of his mom, maybe something in this journey will speak to us of what we should do for OUR time.

To be quite honest, I am resentful of taking away from the TODAY of our last good years to worry about the TO COME of our decline. Yet, of course, we SHOULD.

 After having the responsibility of caring for my dad put solely on me (I have 2 brothers), I told my daughter, and only child, that I have a specific account that will help pay for the cost of a senior residence. I ended up spending all my time taking care of my dad who is blind but has better blood pressure than I. Finally I had a break down and the other members of the family agreed that having a part time care giver  from a company was needed.  I don't want to do that to my daughter.

I'm 64, have no kids, will probably outlive my husband...I don't know what will happen. I can barely afford to pay for my health insurance, let alone think about starting some other insurance policy. I don't make enough money to save much for the future. I'm thinking about these things now that I'm taking care of both my aged parents and will have to borrow money to provide for their continued care...

If you own your own home or if your parents own their home you may want to explore the reverse mortgage concept. this concept allows you to borrow the equity in your home. If you look in to this proceed with caution.  Be sure you get advise from an expert you can trust.  If you are a member of AARP contact them.  They are a good source.

If you aren't an AARP member join.  The cost isa minimal.  They offer valuble services.

After witnessing the various "Elder Kennels" that my Grandmother was subjected to, I am looking into reinstalling the ice-flow concept.  I would rather float away on a piece of ice and let God and his nature take care of me rather than subject myself to subhuman environments.

Until the day comes when our country  truly respects and cares for the elderly and is educated in regards to their dignity and needs, I don't want anyone to care for me in my elderly years because they wouldn't really care. What the elderly have been subjected to in everything from retirement communities to nursing homes and assisted care living places is appalling and a huge stain and shame on our society.

My plan is to live alone until I drop dead in my own house.  Now, having said that I am working with my financial planner to help me find the right product that will allow me to have help come in.  My hope is, of course, that I just die healthy and mobile...

You evidentally have had a bad experience with a loved one.  I have been there as well.

Its not our country's responsibility to look after the elderly.  It is my  responsiblity to plan so that I can take care of myself and my wife.  It is the old story Plan your Work and Work your Plan.

Have a nice evening and think positively;

I choose my son. He's not as emotionally attached as my daughter, but she's been a monster when it comes to caring for my grandmother--standing up in court to say she needs to die in her own home, but not stepping up to help care for her there. She did her mock trial state competition team pround, but not so much her college ethics team.
 

I live in a community where elder care is a high priority.  There are over 70 retirement communities/facilities in the county where I live.  I am willing to say that I would be comfortable in about 50 of them.  As you age, you have to do your homework.  We cared for an aging friend.  She was alone in the world.  When she was of sound mind, we visited a series of retirment communities and nursing homes.  She choose the facilities when she was healthy and then did volunteer work in them to be sure she was getting the whole picture of what was going on "behind closed doors."  Not a bad idea.  Also, when she finally did go to the nursing home, many of the staff knew her and were very kind to her.  A little planning can go a long way.  She was also prepared financially for it as she knew what to expect.  I learned so much from our dear friend Thelma.

They are NOT all "Elder Kennels".........As a matter of fact, and from some personal experience with loved ones and work.............I dare say that the MAJORITY of places where people are cared for are not of this ilk. However, the family, or close friends, should feel the absolute imperative to stay as involved with their senior family/friend/sibling/neighbor/church member as they can be. This forces some hard, and unpleasant choices to be made. The subject is uncomfortable for all involved.Just note how many of these replies are ANONYMOUS.  The amount of paperwork is absolutely daunting, the idea of incontinence, and digestive issues, cleanliness, depression, bizarre behaviors, dementia.........No one wants to do this work. Some will do it as martyrdom, some with sincere love, and others with a combination of both. A very few depraved prey on these ill, weak people.The vast majority deal with it all by going where the work is done by paid, trained workers, with varying degrees of sucess. CMA Careman's aging friend has the right idea, but notice that it involves PLANNING. This is where we all fall down, because we do not want to think about this until we HAVE to.