I honestly don't know what to do. My grandfather has advanced emphysema. The doctors have been very honest, and have told us he probably won't see Christmas. My grandpa has agreed, he told us he thinks it will be before. I'm so incredibly sad, I feel like crying all the time. He lives with my mother, who has taken it horribly. She asked me what I thought we should do, with the planning and financials. I want to help her, so she can focus on him. Also, she just doesn't seem able to handle more. I don't know the first thing about, preparing for a death. He has a living will, and my mom is his eldest child. (He's a widower.) So, to the best of my knowledge that takes care of future, health care questions. Financially he isn't well off at all. He pretty much lives retirement check to check. He has a small amount in savings, owns an older car and has a few 'semi' valuable things. (None of these are insured, or to the best of my knowledge known outside the family.) However, he is in credit card debt. Very Badly. Do we tell him to stop paying the credit cards? Will my mom be held responsible for these debts, because he lives with her? Do we tell him to empty his small savings, and put it away? Spend it any darn way he feels like..Or is this illegal and potentially harmful, to my mom? Do we sell his car? If we/he do sell it, can mom be asked where the money went by the c.c. companies or state? Should he attempt to file bankruptcy, even though it's a long process and he doesn't have time? No one really has the money for lawyers of any kind. Every site I go to tells me one conflicting thing or another, as far finances go.
I am so overwhelmed, with everything. I don't know what side is up and what is down. I really just want to figure all of this out, as quickly as possible, for my grandpa and mom. I want to be able to help her with him. More importantly enjoy the last few months we have together, with as little stress as possible. Any suggestions or advice, on what I need to do, is greatly appreciated. Thanks so much.
Hi There,
You don't have to do anything at this point except enjoy the time with your grandfather. When he dies, whatever is left in the estate will be used to pay his debts and they can not come after your mother as long as she does not have any joint accounts with him. He should continue to pay his cards and not think about bankruptcy as it is not necessary---they can't take anything from him other than what is in his estate after he dies. They can't come after your mother for money unless she owns a house with him, in which case they will sue to put a lien on the house until his debts are paid. His other personal property will be part of the estate, and will be sold to pay his debts, by whoever is the executor of his will.
However, if he wants to sell all his property now, before he dies, there is nothing anyone can do about that--no one knows exactly when they are going to die, and if he decides to spend every penny before he goes or give it all away to people, that is his right and the credit card companies can't do a thing about it, as long as he keeps making the minimum payments until he dies. After he dies, whatever is left in his estate will be used to settle his debts. If he has nothing, then they get nothing. You might want to use whatever money he has to pre-pay for his burial service, so there won't be any problems about paying for that.
Just remember, if you have a credit card and charged 8 grand tomorrow and then get hit by a bus, no one can accuse you of trying to get out of your debts. You die when you die, and as long as you pay the minimum until then and don't default on the cards, then there is nothing to worry about.
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