My Brother and I am trying to sell my Mothers land and house. My Dad died last April '09 and I moved her to my house in a diffeent state. My Brother lives 10 miles from my Mothers land.He's not involved with her care.
When the house sells, he said the money should go into my account and used for her care, and after she passes away whatevers left(if any) gets split between us.
Sometimes I feel like he would think I'm using the money for more than her care. (This is just assumption on my part). Would it be wise to have a joint account of her land sales money so he can keep an eye on it to see I'm using it only for her care? Or since he's not involved with her care, should I be the sole keeper of her money in my own account? (I'd still split the left-overs after her passing) AND what is the tax man gonna do with an extra $180,000 in one of my accounts? Should I get a financial advicer or something? What are your oppinions?
SheBuddy-if i were you, I'd consult an elder attorney right away and set up a living trust for your mom's assets. Don't wait for the sale. The attorney has your answers and will protect mom's money from the tax man. It takes a lot of money to care for others and Mom and Dad worked hard all their lives for there home and land. The trust would cover her care and state her wishes for you and your brother.
I'll look into that, thank you, Terri
I agree in consulting an elder attorney. You do not know what you are into with your mother's care since you are just getting started with it. I would suggest that your brother bow out because this has become your journey. If a provision in the Trust states that your brother will do half of the care taking and planning with the agreement of your mother and her loing term wishes then I would say count him in. If not then become independent of your brother since you don't know what may be down the road. Too many cooks in the kitchen.
Be certain the elder attorney understands your mother's wishes regarding long term care. Plan for nursing facilites and / or respite care. If your mother enters a nursing facility at some point she might stay nearer your brother rather than you.
First-ascertain you MOTHER'S long term care goals. They must include institutionalization at some point so she is ready for that if it happens. One person either you or your brother should be the agent for your mother's wishes and I presume it is her wish to sell her home. You don't know what you are entering as you step into this journey.
best wishes.
You should have both an eldercare attorney and an accountant to advise you on this, but first of all, the money from the sale of your Mother's home and land is HER money. At the very least, it needs to go into an account in HER name, but whomever has the POA can also be a signer on the account, plus, if the brother is not a POA, you can still set him up to receive statements. This way, if something happens to you, your brother is familiar with the cash flow. You should also keep him up to date on the care requirements of your mother and her condition. It takes a village.... or so they say. Worry about how to split up the money later, when your mother is gone - fussing about it now diminishes your feelings for her. Best of wishes to you.
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