In response to all of your comments, what I have done is applied for Medi-cal (Medicaid) and she got approved. That pays for medical costs but not for care. She is currently in an assisted living home but hates it. With the lack of funds and state assistance, I'm going to be forced to bring her to my home. She has been paying for the "home" which is more than her monthly income and is going to have to pay for a caregiver once at my place since I work during the day. Our state (California) previously paid people back for caregiving in the home but is stopping due to our budget crisis. It's funny. The state with Hollywood making so much money in it is broke! There's something wrong with this picture. I also found out that in our state Medicare only pays for a nursing home if the patient cannot walk more than 20 feet and they are not desirable to live in anyway. Let this be lesson to all of us to get long term insurance or save for our medical expenses.

ditto on the help of the VA my son was injured in vietnam and is still waiting for them to decide if he is elligible...what does a person have to do ? we have sent folder and folders of information and they are stalling and denying his compensation..So who is stupid enough to enlist?

I moved back in the house w/ my mom and dad when I had my daughter. I work full time out of the house and my mom works part time in the evenings so someone is always home for my dad. His long term disability stops on Nov. 6th now we have no way of paying for our mortgage. Mom and dad have no retirement funds, I cashed out my IRA to help pay bills now we are broke and at risk of losing the home we had for 30yrs now. Isn't there some state program that pays us for taking care of dad or paying for a caregiver so my mom can get a full time job?

To lbarileau, Thank you for your message and support. Two questions come to mind. Are you in California and have you considered getting a reverse mortgage?

No we are in IL. My dad is not on the mortgage and my mom is only 55 so the bank does not qualify her for a reverse mortgage. Her and I are on the mortgage. I am only 33yrs old.

There is actually a Medicaid program that will pay you for providing care for a family member. Check this out for more info. Hopefully you will find it helpful.

Thanks but I've said countless times the State of California is drastically slashing our cash for caregiving program called In Home Supportive Services.

BRENDA D Regarding credit card debt-It is shameful the way credit card companies and solicitors take advantage of the elderly-fight back. Check to see the interest and fees that have accumulated. Talk to attorney who specializes in elder law. You can call the credit card companies and try to settle-Be firm-because of his age, if you threaten not to pay, they will probably deal, especially if he misses a few payments. But, you have to speak to a supervisor, not representative that answers phone. If that doesn't work, you can go to an accredited state credit counseling service (google or call state government for list-do not deal with any other debt counselors or settlement companies-you could get scammed). They can set up a consolidation plan with creditors (lower interest and payments) or advise if he qualifies for bankruptsy. What does he care at his age about credit scores. Even if you do nothing, they "might" after a few years, try to get a judgement, but that would only allow them to get a lien on property-not take it (have him transfer assets to you). They cannot garnish Social Security income or pension. There are many financial and legal counseling agencies that you could contact for advice-find your state agencies for the elderly. Good luck.