When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by gaybriel @ 05:39 PM November 18, 2009

gaybriel — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:39:36 -0000

BRENDA D Regarding credit card debt-It is shameful the way credit card companies and solicitors take advantage of the elderly-fight back. Check to see the interest and fees that have accumulated. Talk to attorney who specializes in elder law. You can call the credit card companies and try to settle-Be firm-because of his age, if you threaten not to pay, they will probably deal, especially if he misses a few payments. But, you have to speak to a supervisor, not representative that answers phone. If that doesn't work, you can go to an accredited state credit counseling service (google or call state government for list-do not deal with any other debt counselors or settlement companies-you could get scammed). They can set up a consolidation plan with creditors (lower interest and payments) or advise if he qualifies for bankruptsy. What does he care at his age about credit scores. Even if you do nothing, they "might" after a few years, try to get a judgement, but that would only allow them to get a lien on property-not take it (have him transfer assets to you). They cannot garnish Social Security income or pension. There are many financial and legal counseling agencies that you could contact for advice-find your state agencies for the elderly. Good luck.

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by katosboss @ 02:25 AM October 21, 2009

katosboss — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 02:25:40 -0000

Thanks but I've said countless times the State of California is drastically slashing our cash for caregiving program called In Home Supportive Services.

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by Missy @ 06:50 PM October 20, 2009

Missy — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:50:41 -0000

There is actually a Medicaid program that will pay you for providing care for a family member. Check this out for more info. Hopefully you will find it helpful.

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by lbarileau @ 03:51 PM October 20, 2009

lbarileau — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:51:32 -0000

No we are in IL. My dad is not on the mortgage and my mom is only 55 so the bank does not qualify her for a reverse mortgage. Her and I are on the mortgage. I am only 33yrs old.

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by katosboss @ 03:16 AM October 20, 2009

katosboss — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 03:16:59 -0000

To lbarileau, Thank you for your message and support. Two questions come to mind. Are you in California and have you considered getting a reverse mortgage?

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by lbarileau @ 03:18 PM October 19, 2009

lbarileau — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:18:40 -0000

I moved back in the house w/ my mom and dad when I had my daughter. I work full time out of the house and my mom works part time in the evenings so someone is always home for my dad. His long term disability stops on Nov. 6th now we have no way of paying for our mortgage. Mom and dad have no retirement funds, I cashed out my IRA to help pay bills now we are broke and at risk of losing the home we had for 30yrs now. Isn't there some state program that pays us for taking care of dad or paying for a caregiver so my mom can get a full time job?

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by fpaccio@verizon,net @ 07:27 PM October 18, 2009

fpaccio@verizon,net — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 19:27:39 -0000

ditto on the help of the VA my son was injured in vietnam and is still waiting for them to decide if he is elligible...what does a person have to do ? we have sent folder and folders of information and they are stalling and denying his compensation..So who is stupid enough to enlist?

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by katosboss @ 03:18 AM October 02, 2009

katosboss — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 03:18:15 -0000

In response to all of your comments, what I have done is applied for Medi-cal (Medicaid) and she got approved. That pays for medical costs but not for care. She is currently in an assisted living home but hates it. With the lack of funds and state assistance, I'm going to be forced to bring her to my home. She has been paying for the "home" which is more than her monthly income and is going to have to pay for a caregiver once at my place since I work during the day. Our state (California) previously paid people back for caregiving in the home but is stopping due to our budget crisis. It's funny. The state with Hollywood making so much money in it is broke! There's something wrong with this picture. I also found out that in our state Medicare only pays for a nursing home if the patient cannot walk more than 20 feet and they are not desirable to live in anyway. Let this be lesson to all of us to get long term insurance or save for our medical expenses.

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by tryingtofloat @ 04:07 AM October 01, 2009

tryingtofloat — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 04:07:04 -0000

There are different types of Medicaid in NY. Regular Medicaid provides healthcare and other services for low income persons. But for those who are disabled or over 65 there are types of Medicaid where so long as your monthly income is less than the nursing home or home care bill, you may qualify. Community Medicaid - they will provide some home care, you may keep $787 a month of your income, there is no look back period for the transfer of assets and you entitled to keep alot of your resources (assets). For Institutional or Nursing Home Medicaid you may keep only $50 month of your income and you may not retain resources over $13800. There is a 3-5 year look back period for transfer of assets, but they allow you keep most of the equity in your home and a car. My father was in rehab, refused to do his physical therapy and Medicare cut him off so they moved him to long term care and we are now applying for Nursing Home Medicaid. His savings is over $13800 so we have to "spend down" but the money spent must be on certain things, otherwise it will count as a transfer of assets, and there will be a penalty or disqualification. Anyway, one allowable expenditure is to prepay the funeral in an Irrevocable Medicaid trust. So I just dropped a hefty sum at the funeral home today and we are almost down below $13800. I will probably just private pay the nursing home the remainder to get his account below that magic number and then he should be eligible for Medicaid, but they will take his pension and SS check each month.
Previous posts have mentioned contacting your local Dept of the aging which is a great idea but there are also tons of non-profit agencies that can help. Try googling the name of your town AND ELDERLY. Another thing you can do is call your local nursing home and explain you feel your parent should be in a nursing home but you can't pay for it. They want the business and they want to be paid so they will answer your questions. Also, as a previous post mentioned, try contacting a Medicaid planning attorney. Go to the free consultation then go home and research everything they tell you (the one I saw yesterday gave me outdated info.) Medicaid laws change constantly at least in NY. Good luck everyone!

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by Anonymous @ 11:35 PM September 30, 2009

Anonymous — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 23:35:44 -0000

Take my advice and if you're planning to apply for veterans' benefits for your parent, get an advocate from the VA to help you, or maybe a lawyer. I spent hours and hours over several months trying to give the VA what they seemed to want and was rejected in the end for all kinds of absurd reasons, e.g., I didn't have his caregiver send in an accompanying statement on the caregiver's letterhead (!)--something they had of course never asked for. The VA does not want to give you money, and they make it nearly impossible for you to get it. My father fought in Word War II, is disabled, is running out of money, meets all the guidelines as far as I can tell--but there you have it. No help from the VA.

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by warcat @ 06:13 PM September 30, 2009

warcat — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 18:13:31 -0000

Check your state's regulations, but my grandmother placed her home in the names of all of her children, and they granted her free rent for the rest of her life. She survived more than 7 years from the transfer of property, which is the limit in CO for the Medicaid lien on the home, so her children did not have to repay Medicaid from the sale of the home after her death. Obviously, you cannot guarantee that the person will outlive the time limit for the lien, but it was a way to try to pass on some of her assets to her children. It is much easier to preserve assets for the spouse. She could not have any monitary assets above $2000 to qualify for Medicaid, but the value of the home did not count since she was "renting" the home she transferred to her children, unless she died before the seven year lien period. In CO if both spouses qualify for Medicaid, they can only have $1500 each in assets, not $2000 which is the limit for a single person. Every state has their own rules. In CO they can keep $50 a month for personal expenses, other states have less or more. This is not federally regulated, it is federally mandated and state regulated.

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by CJinUSA @ 03:38 PM September 30, 2009

CJinUSA — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 15:38:39 -0000

Here is URL for the VA Aid and Attendance Benefit for veterans and spouses: http://www.veteransfinancial.com/aid-attendance/index.html Here is URL for the VA Aid and Attendance Benefit BLOG/FAQ's: http://www.veteransfinancial.com/aid-attendance/index.html I applied for Mom in May 2005 and received first check (with $$ back to VA's receipt of application) in March 2006. The monthly $$ amount is reviewed yearly for cost of living increase. The most time-consuming thing is the yearly accounting to the VA. Example: You must list the total $$ for each retailer paid SEPARATELY. Example: Walmart $200, BJ's Wholesale $100, RiteAid $50, etc. Hope this helps regarding VA.

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by cmacp @ 02:30 PM September 30, 2009

cmacp — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 14:30:25 -0000

I'm still learning about this topic. I have found that Medicaid is the major resource for most long term care needs. How it 'plays out' depends on the particular circumstances. What most of you are looking for is Medicaid's Long Term Care Programs. The financial qualifications are more generous than regular Medicaid which is based on poverty level income. The biggest differentiating feature is if your parent is married or single. The marital home is protected for the spouse and some of the ill spouses income is given to the stay at home "community" spouse. Round 1: Single 2 1/2 yrs ago, my domestic partner was in a skilled facility after a brain injury. Medicaid took all of his income except for $30. We were on the verge of loosing our home. I brought him home and cared for him myself. We tried the Community at Home Program (CAPS), but that wasn't much better financially. It still only left us with $271 mo to pay our bills. Round 2: Almost two yrs ago, we got married and I elected to start drawing early SS. Four weeks ago, M had another 'triggering event'. He collapsed, was hospitalized, and is once again in a skilled facility. It is unlikely that he will come home. We are applying for Medcaid Long Term care. As a married couple, I am learning that - unlike 2 1/2 yrs ago, Medicaid has special Spousal Protection Programs. The marital home is protected from medicaid liens. The stay at home Community Spouse gets a portion of the institutionalized spouse's income - for a combined income of up to $2,000 mo. (to pay the household bills and not loose the home). Medicaid allows the transfer of the title to the marital home to the stay at home spouse under this program. Should the ill spouse die first, the marital home will not be subject to probate or Medicaid liens. Medicaid hardship allowances, mean the surviving spouse stays in the home. Limits on marital assets are much more generous than regular Medicaid. Upon approval, the stay at home spouse's income is not counted. Of course, this is spousal protection. Adult children of a parent needing Long term nursing home care are not likely to receive an inheritance. Medicaid will - I believe, - be repaid when the Will is probated. But, if you are interested in your ailing parent receiving nursing home care, - it is available through Medicaid. Google 'Medicaid long Term care' for your particular State.

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by Brenda D @ 01:30 AM September 23, 2009

Brenda D — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 01:30:00 -0000

My step-dad is 93yr and up until last spring was handling his own finances. I have since discovered that he has charged his credit cards with approx. $75,000 buying gold coins, various gifts & trinkets, magazine subscriptions to give away, etc. We are now at the point of making some decisions as to his living arrangements. He makes $3500/month in SS & pension, but his credit card payments are taking most of it. Because he has a decent income he doesn't qualify for any assistance that we know of. Does anyone have any advice?

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by Jaye @ 03:42 PM August 03, 2009

Jaye — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 15:42:22 -0000

My Grandmother lived with us when she was ill. It was a good experience for all of us. My two sons were 6 and 3 at the time. I think they learned some things they would have NEVER learned any other way. She really loved the boys and they still talk about Great-Grandma. They are all grown up now and are very kind men and very attentive to their now aging Grandparents. Our elders can teach us many many things if we allow them. I had cared for my Grandfather and the last conversation we had was about my Grandmother. I remember thinking at the time I hope someone loves me that much someday. take care and try to be thankful that you have your MOM.

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by katosboss @ 04:48 AM August 03, 2009

katosboss — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 04:48:17 -0000

I, too, am having a terrible time with this as my mom does not qualify to be in a nursing home due to the requirement that the person cannot be able to walk more than 20 feet. Plus we are California and the state's so broke that there isn't any funds to help us. I don't want to sound like I expect the government to pay our way, it's just that my dad didn't get life insurance or plan ahead and all we have is her social security check. She is in a board and care home and we are having to use her credit card to pay for it. That cannot be done for more than a few months. So she'll probably end up living with me and we know how that scenario works out.

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by Jen49 @ 02:04 AM August 03, 2009

Jen49 — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 02:04:22 -0000

If your mom needs Hospice they will provide all medications pertinent to her illness as well as her Depends. They come in for 2 hours each day which would relieve a care giver for that time span.

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by Anonymous @ 10:11 AM July 22, 2009

Anonymous — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 10:11:17 -0000

Look in the yellow pages in the phone book under Elder Care

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by Jaye @ 02:09 PM July 15, 2009

Jaye — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 14:09:38 -0000

It helps with expenses it is a form of Medicaid for elders. I am not sure if it is nationwide but we have it in Iowa.

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by kittykat @ 03:43 AM July 11, 2009

kittykat — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 03:43:12 -0000

The VA Benefits in Northern California where I live are wonderful.

There is a benefits counselor to help you with the process.

I applied for my Mom who is a surviving spouse in an assisted living facility and we are almost done with final approval...one month later. Yes, I know that it takes some time to finally see the benefit , but in the meantime, there is a wonderful organization called Elderlife Financial who will bridge a loan.

Check them out. They were a godsend to our family to help with Mom's financial need.

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by kittykat @ 03:40 AM July 11, 2009

kittykat — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 03:40:45 -0000

How does an elderly waiver help?

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by Jaye @ 02:05 PM July 10, 2009

Jaye — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 14:05:54 -0000

I would encourage you to check with the Dept of Human Services in your area. Also your local Area Agency on Aging will have information on Legal aide services. take care

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by ReneeLease @ 01:13 AM July 10, 2009

ReneeLease — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 01:13:44 -0000

My husband has now become an invalid and I cannot pay for a nursing home for more than 1 year at most. My children want to chip in but they have their own expenses to take care of. is there a lawyer who can guide me insofar as getting medicaid.

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by Anonymous @ 02:37 PM July 08, 2009

Anonymous — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 14:37:31 -0000

My Father gets his care at the VA hospital, we have found them to be wonderful and caring people. At this point we have not tried to get Mother any benefits but I know they are available. I had a dear friend who had Alzheimer's disease, his wife was paid to care for him. I am sure that the VA in other locations is different, but in our area we have been very pleased.

When mom or dad didn't prepare, financially, for their care, what do you do? posted by 8sugarbuns @ 02:27 PM July 08, 2009

8sugarbuns — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 14:27:40 -0000

My father's stroke>vascular dementia>nursing home>death resulted in the near liquidation of their lifetime assets because he received a pension in addition to SSI benefits. That pension helped to support mother during her hip break.1>assisted living>hip break.2>and now she lives with me and caregiver expenses are eating me alive. She will never qualify for Medicaid due to her pension benefits so I am consigned to working poor status. I work so that I can pay someone else to stay in my home and change mother's Depends.

The Veterans Administration could care less about helping seniors. They barely care about troops just now returning from conflict much less those who returned 20+ years ago. And if you were gainfully employed after your serving your country, YOU GET NO BENEFITS. Just a flag when you die and a pittance to pay for part of your tombstone.

As a child-free only-child married to another only-child, we have no extra money to pay for long-term care (got to buy those Depends for Mom you know). Frankly after reviewing many policies both before and after issue, I doubt most LTC policies will adequately pay for our care. LTC policies do, however, pay sweet up-front commissions to the salesperson for signing you up for the policy.

I now have a Smith & Wesson policy, which is to say that I will kill myself when the money runs out. At age 50, I know SSI will not be there for me and I have not saved enough in my 401k/IRA to see me out. I have accepted this harsh reality, but I do not like it.

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