I feel bad saying this, but I wish sometimes I could just say, "I'm doing the best I can," and have my mom say she knows that.... sometimes it seems like nothing I do is enough because she needs so much, and always wants me there or needs help getting someplace.

How about "could you just accept you have dementia?"  Kind of an impossible thing to say to someone or to do, yet sometimes I wish...

I have said this to you many times before mom, I love you very much and I wish you would quit smoking.  Since I am recovering from breast cancer and am highly allergic to cigarette smoke, I can not be around you if you are smoking.  Plus I don't want either one of us to die...you from smoking and me from second hand smoke.

I would like to know how long my husband expects me to keep putting up with his complaining about his health yet doing nothing to improve it. He's five year post stroke and still wishes that he had died, has a DNR order, is overweight, smokes, eats poorly and get no exercise. I've been told that he's passively suicidal. He admits that he's depressed but won't get counseling or take medication for the depression. I actually think he likes wallowing in it. He sucks the life out of the house. We're in couples counseling and it doesn't look promising. He keeps saying that he doesn't see anything changing and want to shake him. Especially when I see that his attitude is different when he's with friends. Like Jeckl and Hyde. It's sad but maybe we'll both be happier if we split.

I told my mom today....but she still doesn't get it.

Ok, 5 years ago she met a man, moved in with him (45 minutes away), and I've been taking care of my grandmother ever since.

For three weeks now, again, I'm hearing "I'll come out and visit next week". Next week comes....oh, but the sales at her favored meat store are not good enough....so next week....then next....

I finally told her "Shouldn't your plans to visit revolve around GRANNY, not the frickin' meat store?".

I gave up getting through to her on this one: When my divorce was final, we were to celebrate. Well, it's going on 5 years, so I don't think that divorce celebration will ever happen.

Thanks, Mom.

Worn out and Dolphin, my heart goes out to you both.  I just want to say that caregiving is really hard and when we're dealing with competent adults, we have to remind ourselves that we can not make good choices for them no matter how much we want there to be a change.  It's not our responsibility.  It's not our fault.  It's not in our control.  Say those things in your head when you get annoyed.  There was a point when dealing with my father I swear I needed therapy to deal with my overwhelming desire to MAKE him follow doctor's orders.  I can't even tell you what made the lightbulb go off in my head, but I finally realized "We are both getting and understanding the same information from the doctor!  I can't do anything other than support and encourage him when he wants to make a change." 

Thanks, Missy.

Sometimes I feel like my mom is just a little child.

What I would love to say is that if you would quit talking behind everyone's back and being so danged negetive the family would love to visit more often. Jeez, don't youthink we talk to each other?   And, oh yeah, EVERYTHING is not about you!!!  Small children don't want o need to hear about how sad you are all the time!!!  It' no fun to tell a crying  peschooler that it is not their fault you are so sad all the time!!!