'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by honeymuffin 1923 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

honeymuffin 1923 — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 21:09:53 -0000

PTCruzr,

I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost our Mom last May. She was only 63, but in bad health from not caring for herself for years. I still have the "what ifs" attack from time to time. But I did all I could do and then some.

Moms do live in our hearts forever.

Hugs to you.

Honey Muffin 1923

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by honeymuffin 1923 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

honeymuffin 1923 — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 21:06:33 -0000

Jacky33, 1923 is the name brand of the jerwley. I tried to google it but could not find it. I guess it isn't around any more. I do have a couple of pieces. It is very girly. Which normally isn't me. Every piece has little pink rose buds on it.

Ty for asking.

Honey Muffin 1923

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by PTCruzr @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

PTCruzr — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 21:20:27 -0000

I have no worries anymore. Mom died Saturday and we buried her today (Wednesday). This difficult time is over for all of us and we are faced with "What now?" When I go back over all of my old appointments for mom, I realize just how much time I devoted to her care so I will try to leave any guilt behind. Now is a time when the "What ifs" attack you. And I know at 87, it was really her time to go. She was a wonderful lady and we gave her a wonderful send off. Goodbye forever mom...in our hearts forever.

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by jacky33 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

jacky33 — Sun, 13 Mar 2011 22:09:15 -0000

honeymuffin123

have a stupid Q. for you what is custom jerwley 123 ?

i do bead work when i can so was new to me]

god bless jacky33

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by Grandmom0f7 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Grandmom0f7 — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 19:35:40 -0000

I lay in bed for hours each night wondering how I will get by without my husband who's dying of brain cancer.

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by 1019wolfram @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

1019wolfram — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 09:53:11 -0000

Dear PTC, I felt the same "how can I go on without him" as my husband was dying of colon cancer. That was almost 18 years ago. Now I find myself with a 20 year old son doing what I do best caring for my Dad with advanced alzheimers. I know it feels pretty hopeless right now. My mother is still with us but I still miss Ted like crazy. My faith and family, some friends have helped me through. Reach out, people want to help you. I didn't want to bother anybody. They wanted to help, believe me. Prayers and a hug to you and your mom. joan

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by PTCruzr @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

PTCruzr — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 02:51:39 -0000

Tonight, after a long day at the hospital, they are keeping my mom comfortable and giving her painkillers as she is in bed struggling to breathe. The only fear I have is the fear of how I will go on without her.

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by honeymuffin 1923 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

honeymuffin 1923 — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 00:40:00 -0000

kirstinss,

Coming up with a plan be can be a tough thing to do. I pray you can find one. Do you have a Senior Center in your area? Maybe they have some resoures you can contact. I know I contacted serval in my area until I found one that had numbers I needed to put our Plan B into place. I had to talk to a lot of people before I was able to get hold of the right people.

Hugs and Blessings,

HoneyMuffin

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by kirstinss @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

kirstinss — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 21:51:24 -0000

My biggest concern at this time is that something will happen to me, and my ladies (my mom and a friend with dementia) will be left alone, with no one to care for them. I am trying to set up a back up plan, but it is difficult to find someone who will be able and available to help out on a temporary or permanent basis. Both ladies are very comfy here, and secure, and I am terrified that they will be moved into homes or such.
I wish I could come up with an alternative care situation for them.

Oh, and money is always a concern, but God has always provided what we "need", so I rely on Him and good paying Peter to pay Paul, LOL, each month.

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by honeymuffin 1923 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

honeymuffin 1923 — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 17:57:15 -0000

Princesscar,

Here is small kick in the butt. TAP Can you go work in a soup kitchen one to x days a week? It'll give you something you are pasionate about. A reason to get up and get going on those days. Yet, on the other days you can have the time you need to grieve.

You have had two major loses in 3 months time. It'll take a while to catch your breath.

I work our church kitchen on Wednesday afternoon for our Wednesday night dinner. I lets me be with people that know me, love me, and lets me serve them at the same time I'm being "served" with hugs and 'that a girls'. I find it fulfilling to help others.

May your dreams come true.

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by Princesscar @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Princesscar — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 02:04:26 -0000

I do have things to focus on, I want to help with the homeless families. As the economy gets worse so does homelessness. I have been there,and wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. It is just a matter of kicking myself in the butt to get going. My dream is to one day have some land in the mountains that would house homeless families.

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by PTCruzr @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

PTCruzr — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 23:02:02 -0000

Princesscar.. I know someone in a very close situation of yours although in her case, her father died and a few weeks later her son died (35) and her husband now has cancer. Her son was my daughter's boyfriend and my granddaughter's father (he died in October, she was born in December). Sometimes you have to wonder how much a person can take. I do know that time makes it a little easier but the loss never goes away. My mom is soon to be on hospice so I will be facing another loss but I'm looking toward my new granddaughter to keep my spirits up. ANd the warmer weather. I live in New York and winter is depressing. FInd something that you can focus on to get you through your devastating time and take care of yourself....

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by Princesscar @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Princesscar — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 22:28:37 -0000

The seven years of caring for my husband has had a toll. While he was alive, in the begining, I would lose sleep fearing he would wonder off. As his disease,Pick's Disease, progressed he had fallen out of bed. He was dead weight, so it was impossible for me to get him back into bed. Then finally, it was that he might pass away with me there only. He passed away in November and then my dad in January, so now it is hard for me to get up, because I feel there is no reason to get up.

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by honeymuffin 1923 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

honeymuffin 1923 — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 16:21:39 -0000

mlfrogggersa,

Have you read any of Dave Ramsey books? Or listened to him on the radio?

I know that doesn't really help when you have little to nothing coming in. Its a HUGE stressor then add in your Dad.

May your Dad have some great days ahead. May you be able to enjoy them with him.

Blessings,

Muffin

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by honeymuffin 1923 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

honeymuffin 1923 — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 16:16:36 -0000

Paulac1258,

Some things we can't control like the enviroment. Have you tried a sound machine? They create a white noise that drowns out other noises but allow you to sleep better. I have an air purifer that does it for me. I was able to find it at a Goodwill very reasonable priced. You may not be able to here your Mom call for you if she needs you.

Can you get a family member or a friend to come and stay a couple nights a week so you can get the sleep you need?

Blessings.

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by honeymuffin 1923 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

honeymuffin 1923 — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 16:01:27 -0000

PTCruzr,

Feel free to talk to us any time you like. Thats what we are here for.

My Mom was in the nursing home when we got "the call". My situation was a bit different in that, Mom and I have not been "friends".

My Sister and I were at odds for years but we have been able to become friends. Then like you with all this with Mom we have become distant. I hope with Spring will come our coming back to one another. If that makes sense.

Because of my Mom, I've have found an Aunt that dearly loves me. I haven't spoken to this Aunt for nearly 35 years now we are the closest of friends. She makes me feel loved.

Before we moved Mom to TN from Ky to be able to care for her, I had a core group of 6 friends. I thought they would see me through ANYTHING. How wrong I was. I'm down to 2 well 4, that counts my Sister and my Aunt. Point is that seems to be normal. You find out who your friends really are when your down and out. I'm currently looking for new ones. As I write this, I guess losing 2 isn't so bad. It just really hurts. Because when I need them the most they weren't there. It seems like I lost more because they like my Sister became distant but are starting to come back around a little at a time. Also because I gained my Aunt,she took the place of one.

If they are "real" friends they will be back. I've found I just can't talk about Mom to 1 of mine or she goes MIA again. Is she a "real" friend then? We'll see with time.

We have to remember with the friend thing that we were there for them too. Then we got pulled away for a time taking care of Mom with every free minute. (I even have to give up computer time, tv time, and family fun time.) In the friend's opinion we are the one's that "left". They may come around for you when you reach out to them. You will have to reach out. My Mom passed last May and my phone still isn't ringing with invites like it was before Mom moved down here. Almost a year, I'm still reaching out. Which is why I'm looking for new friends.

I have been making a point to call my Sister at least once every two weeks. To ask about her work, her new grandbaby, or something I hear on tv. Just to chitter for a bit. I've been able to engage her some of the time but not always. We all process differently. Sister was friends with Mom. Your Sister may need a little space, BUT don't give her too much.

I SAY ALL THAT TO SAY, TRY TO SPEND ALL THE TIME WITH HER THAT YOU CAN. "PET ON HER". "SPOIL HER". ITS HARD TO SAY GOODBYE TO A BEST FRIEND. I'LL BE PRAYING FOR YOU.

HUGS

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by PTCruzr @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

PTCruzr — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 13:47:32 -0000

What is now keeping me up at night is that I'm afraid I will get "the call" from skilled nursing that mom is gone. We were forced into this decision of putting her there because she needed help. She is down to 80 pounds and is confused, has fallen, etc. She needs more care than we can do 24/7. Now she is on hospice so I guess this is nearing the end. Mom was my best friend and I always talked with her and now I don't know what I will do. I have been struggling with this loss for months now as she has begun her decline. My sister and I are not close any more. We used to be but all of this with mom has created a separation for us. And our entire families. I have not been available for my friends because of all of the efforts I had taking care of mom, my kids and grandkids. I know that I can come here and talk so I do. But my worst fear is getting "the call"

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by mlfroggersa @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

mlfroggersa — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 10:20:28 -0000

usually it's money. just because i just lost my job about 3 monthes agos. but every night i worry is about my dad. praying that he will have a better day tomorrow. that his dementia will not be to bad. that i can stay strong for my family. these are just somethings that keep me up at night.

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by paulac1258 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

paulac1258 — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 06:45:31 -0000

My main concern was my moms safty i use to sleep with one eye open the other eye shut. onemorning i had been asllep not even two hours mymom comes in my room screaming that the coffie pot was on fire she was trying to put the coffie put on the stove and the hanle cought fire. Fromthat time on my sleep patterns got worce.I woke up in panick i have panick attacks to begin with.Safty was my main worriy and my mom fell afew times whrn she lived with my brother and my nephew. she injured her back.

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by paulac1258 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

paulac1258 — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 06:28:01 -0000

money keeps up all night long, I never sleep good to begin with the envirement. in the suumer months it s hot and noisy out side i live where its busy town.

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by honeymuffin 1923 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

honeymuffin 1923 — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 14:05:01 -0000

Oh my! Is everyone ok? If they are in the Nashville, Tn area I can help set them up with stuff. Clothes, toys, whatever.

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by CA-Claire @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

CA-Claire — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 00:27:07 -0000

Sure does. Oh dear.

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by PTCruzr @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

PTCruzr — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 00:03:42 -0000

Well, I have some better perspective on life tonight. My oldest daughter who met a guy about 1 month ago is having a terrible night. This guy, who I have met and who has loaned my daughter his truck so she can go to my other daughter's labor and delivery when it occurs...Well, this guy, who has 2 boys whose mother abandoned them, just told my daughter that his house burned to the ground tonight and he has no insurance because his ex quit paying the house insurance. Whats that saying.... I was sad because I had no shoes until I met a man that had no feet Well, it really fits....

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by honeymuffin 1923 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

honeymuffin 1923 — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 22:03:39 -0000

CA-Carrie,

Glad you had a little helper they are so much fun. I know what you mean. Mom's papers were terrible. I was able to put my Uncle on that job while my Aunt, Sister, and myself did the rest of the house. It was a rental unit so we go it all done in a week. We did put some things into storage and that is on the list to do before Christmas.

We are trying to get it all done by the new year as we don't want this one spilling over into the next.

Don't be afraid to ask the son for help. He may be wanting to but not knowing how. I know when my Hubby goes to my inlaws with the kids that are 13 and 14, I get much needed alone time. A chance to "catch up" on some things I put off while everyone is home.

'What’s the biggest worry or fear that keeps you up at night?' posted by CA-Claire @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

CA-Claire — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 21:54:13 -0000

Muffin -

Thank you for the ideas. Unfortunately, I need to sort through all the papers, as important papers have been found mixed in with junk....

My husband's son did some work yesterday and has offered to help more, but he has precious little time with his own family. I'll just keep plugging away at it 'til I'm done. I had his 5 year old 'helping' me by shredding some papers while he worked.

PTCruzr - make sure you slow down. Remember that falls/broken bones are usually a sign that we are moving waaaayyyyy too fast for our bodies to keep up.

Take care, and have a great week! Talk to your doggie - I still talk to mine (have 4 that have passed on over the years).

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