What is the biggest challenge you're facing?

 For me its trying to start and have meaningful conversations with my dad.  He is so quick to shut down and get defensive.   And its challenging for me to not to go to extremes.  On the one hand to get pushy with him about what he should do, or on the other hand, wanting to just give up trying.

I was just thinking about this discussion today after trying to help my parents arrange a boating trip.  I think one of the most challenging things for me is not projecting what I want for them on them but rather respsect what they want for themselves.  I get hung up, alot, on my dad missing out on life because he's content to sleep 16 hours a day and spend the other 8 watching TV.  But when he's given loads of other opportunities and support and he still chooses sleeping and watching TV it must be what he wants. 

I find it challlenging to get a clear sense of how well my step-dad is doing. Is he really managing well?  He seems coherent, but sometimes I get little hints of things, and wonder if I'm reading more into it then I should, or not enough...  full of second guessing.  And because he's a 2 hour plane ride away its sometimes hard to say.

 I wish I had not moved my ailing father into my home. I don't seem to be able to go through a day without depression. He wants me to be so many things that I do not have the time and energy to be or, truthfully, the desire. I have a home-based business with my husband, which takes most of my waking hours. Now with my dad here, I am going and going like a hamster day and night. I'm exhausted and unhappy. Last night my dad said that he doesn't want to be living with me, because he thought it would be a good thing, but it isn't, that he doesn't feel comfortable, that he sees I don't really have time for him. Every few weeks he threatens to leave, but the truth is, he has absolutely no money.

Aside from the usual "trying to get along"....

Our neighbor, who owns his own lawn/snow removal business, USED to help us out by doing our lawn and clearing our driveway, and taking our yard waste to burn with his.

Since fall though....he has not been helpful at all.

Now I'm wondering what spring will mean. 

I have a bad back and lifting restriction.

I have a pile of branches to be burned, plus a bag of yard waste from fall. Neighbor stated before that he didn't want us using a burning barrel....I think I am going to have to resort to buying one, and if he doesn't like it....oh well.

Cleaning out the gutters after the maple tree drops all those helicopters.

I have to figure out how to get the lawn mowed, and the cheapest rate. Or would it be best for me to find a small riding mower?

It's been three years since the garden soil was actually turned over. Twice now, I've taken an ice pick and slammed it as hard as I can into the soil, then raked it as deep as I can. But it really needs an honest digging.....now to find someone to help out with that. Or figure out a way to do it myself....which I can easily see taking 2 weeks and a lot of cooperation from Ma Nature.

I figured it out for winter, I guess I'll figure something out for spring/summer. But jeeze....could life be easy for once? 

 My biggest  challenge is trying to get my father to accept outside help.  Hospice comes twice a week but my mom is not mobile, cannot feed herself, bathe or dress herself.  Any suggestions on how to get my father to hire help?

Right now, it is planning for the future.

(1) Will my neighbor still be taking care of the lawn this summer? (Since he hasn't helped out at all this winter, even with stuff he was PAID IN ADVANCE to do, and stuff he does for free for other neighbors?) I think my grandmother got too demanding.

(2) I'm getting assistance in getting new hearing aids and job hunting services. Granny is just going to have to deal with it that I need to work. So.....I'm attending a Community Resource Fair in two weeks to see what assistance I can get her (if she doesn't like it, oh well).

(3) My next battle. I'm not eating properly, I'm going to have to be the bad grandchild and tell her I need to eat breakfast in the morning, real simple. I can't keep up this no breakfast because I am in her way thing.  I don't mind eating in my bedroom, but even the act of using the toaster upsets her. Getting up early is not a solution either - I will somehow disturb her or disrupt her schedule. (God, Oldsters are so difficult at times).

(4) Next up....dealing with her Newspaper. The paper is changing to home delivery 3 days a week instead of 7. Pay an extra fee, you get the other 4 days mailed to you. Good Lord....she wants her paper 7 days a week, but she doesn't want to pay extra for it because "there isn't much in it". Yet being sent to the store 4 days a week is going to cost me more in gas than the mail delivery....argh. And yes, those 4 days you can get Online access.....but she refuses to touch a computer.

Right now, I think my biggest challenge is accepting that it's not going to be as easy as we thought. We (my mom and I) thought that once my grandma had full-time, at-home caregivers, we'd have a lot more freedom than we'd had. Well, we do have some...but my grandma still insists on eating with us at least four nights a week (and saying no doesn't really work, since we've discovered she won't eat a full meal if we're not with her), and calls my mom and me consistently throughout the day. In a weird way, if we were farther away geographically (we live about ten minutes from my grandma's apartment), I think it might be easier; the way it is, my grandma (who has no concept of the idea that my mom works full-time, but from home) honestly believes that we're just at her beck and call 24-hours a day (the way we were before she had aides, because we feared for her safety).