'Out of Time?' posted by Caring Community @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Caring Community — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:49:44 -0000

Hello 'HandsfromtheHeart', Thank you for posting! As a provider, you can be listed in the Caring.com Senior Living Directory: www.caring.com/local. You can set up your free listing by filling out this form: http://providerinfo.caring.com/ProviderGetListed.html

Caring.com also has a few great resources for time management and stress relief:

1.) Caring.com Stress Solution Center: http://www.caring.com/caregiver-stress

2.) Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach: http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/secret-cure-for-deadly-stress

3.) The Importance of Respite for Family Caregivers: http://www.caring.com/articles/family-caregiver-respite

4.) "Caregiver Confessions with Leeza Gibbons" is a video series of sundry caregiver topics related to time management and stress: http://www.caring.com/articles/caregiver-confessions

We hope you'll visit our Senior Living Directory, and if you haven't done so already, be sure to get listed! Don't hesitate to contact us if we may be of assistance!

-Kind Regards from the Caring Community Team

'Protection for Caregivers' posted by HandsfromtheHeart @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

HandsfromtheHeart — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 15:48:46 -0000

The Department of Labor is making revisions to the Fair Labor Standard Act to increase minimum wage and overtime for caregivers. The period for commenting on this law will end on Feb. 27th.

Follow the links to make your voice heard!

http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Department-Labor-is-making-revisions-4272277.S.94397561?qid=f9c2a1db-ffb3-40b7-819a-889bf9cb1306&trk=group_most_recent_rich-0-b-ttl&goback=%2Egmr_4272277

'Out of Time?' posted by HandsfromtheHeart @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

HandsfromtheHeart — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:59:52 -0000

I've done lots of service work and find under stress I tend to stray from properly prioritizing my projects and time. I think a huge source of frustration can be that feeling of having no time. Here's an article on time management tips for caregivers.

http://www.linkedin.com/groups/As-caregivers-its-easy-get-4272277.S.92339713?qid=a925049c-944d-46b9-bfb7-a8c496736fac&trk=group_most_recent_rich-0-b-ttl&goback=%2Egmr_4272277

'Does anyone have a parent with C O P D?' posted by baby girl @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

baby girl — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 18:06:54 -0000

It sounds like you need a break away if even just for a few minutes or a couple of short hours, dont know how dependant mom is on you or if there is some one else there to relieve you but if you dont get away you will just build it all up inside til you explode, and that wont help anything. It is normal to feel the way you are, the heplessness you fill is really hard, I felt the same with my Moma. Watching her suffer knowing there was nothing more I could do to help her through. She was a very strong woman and the last thing she would have wanted is to cause me suffering, but it is out of thier control... life is so unfair sometimes. All I can think is try to find some time to yourself away,and it will maybe help relieve some of the anger and frustration that builds up.. I can tell you that I would give anything to hear my Momas cracklin cough again right now, as she has been gone since May 5-2011 and I miss her so much... there is good advice through out these posts of how some handle the stress and also sucking on hard candies helped sooth Momas throat and suppress her coughing some , but the nurses told me they have to keep coughing to get all that flem out so they can breath... Bless you and your Mom lagogo, I am sending peace and possative energies to you. Best of luck and hugs to you. Birdbits

'Does anyone have a parent with C O P D?' posted by GregMiller @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

GregMiller — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 21:23:28 -0000

I noticed that when my mother would cough I could hear the mucus rustling around in her lungs but she was not able to cough any of it up and out of her lungs.

I found NAC (N-acetyl-L-cysteine) which liquefies the mucus. Mucus is apparently high in sulfur and thed sulfur atoms form di-sulfide bonds with each other clumping small pieces of mucus into large masses. The NAC (500-600 mg) breaks the di-sulfide bonds.

It took about 45 minutes after giving her the NAC before she would have a "productive" cough and actually spit out mucus for about the next 45 minutes. After that she would always sleep very soundly.

It seemed very strange that no one could explain why emphysema and COPD get worse long after smoking cessation. My mother's doctor told me it was a mystery.

It seems to me that some pathogen is introduced into the lungs by smoking. This unknown pathogen continues proliferating whether the patient quits smoking or not.

Dr. Kenneth Hunter, a cancer researcher, stated that cancer cells have more than 90 receptor sites for sugar. He takes all sugar and simple carbs out of the patients' diets.

I started my mother on a similar diet and in about two weeks she was showing improvement although subtle they were the first improvements she had shown since her diagnosis.

The diet can be found by searching for Dr. Hunter and reading his research, by reading the book, "The Allergy and Asthma Cure" by Dr. Fred Pescatore, M.D., who uses the same basic diet or by visiting the following web page:

http://www.emphysema-treatments.com/diet.htm

'Does anyone have a parent with C O P D?' posted by lagogo @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

lagogo — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 12:31:28 -0000

Hi everyone

I feel like I am going out of my mind and need someone to identify with. My mother has had COPD for many years now, and at the moment it is worse than it has ever been. I feel so bad because there is nothing I can actually do to help her but the coughing sometimes just really gets me down. She had had a bad cough since I was born but now it sounds like nothing i have ever heard. I am living with her and I feel like its tipping me over the edge, worse still I have to feel the guilt over feeling so frustrated with it as I know it isn't her fault. It is almost as if it is a loud reminder of the pain she is suffereing that I can do nothing about. It grates me. I just want to run away from it all. I feel liike such a horrible person but I really don't think I can take much more without having some sort of breakdown. Does anyone feel the same?

'I'm the Devil Incarnate now...yet another job to do!!!' posted by allfiredup @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

allfiredup — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 11:23:28 -0000

I will preface this posting by saying that I am very frustrated, exhausted, and just plain mad as fire...It is not my intention to offend anyone and I will do my best to be respectful of everyone, even those who don't agree with my words and/or actions.

My grandmother was diagnosed with stomach/GI cancer on Thanksgiving and there are no viable treatment options. She is almost 87 years old and has severe COPD and she is severely crippled due to Rheumatoid Arthritis. Her oncologist was reluctant to give any sort of timeframe, but she privately told me and my dad that we shouldn't expect more than 6-8 weeks with any reasonable quality of life. During that time she could have good days and bad days, and then it would be good hours and bad hours and so on. After those 6-8 weeks, she would start to decline and wouldn't be bouncing back and feeling good again as she had been up to that point. She would only be headed downhill and she would deteriorate at an increasingly faster rate. At best, she wouldn't survive more than 10 weeks in total. We hit the 9-week mark last Thursday 01/26 and she was still feeling good enough to sit in her recliner in the family room for four to six hours every day. On Friday, she stayed in bed until later afternooon but got up and stayed in the family room with us for about four hours or so. She nodded off briefly a few times, but she was alert and engaged in conversation and watching TV most of the time. Then on Saturday, she got up around 11am and ate a decent breakfast, then went right back to bed and only got up for about 30 minutes around 7pm and went to bed for the night. Yesterday, Sunday, was about the same except she stayed up for an hour in the evening, but she was struggling to do so. She is SO strong willed and independent that she wanted to walk by herself to bed last night, but I told her it would mean the world to me if I could take her in the wheelchair and tuck her in for the night. =) It was an offer she couldn't refuse coming for her 37-year old grandson and I meant every word of it. I sat in her floor holding her hand and crying with her until she fell asleep.
She has been inundated with visitors over the last two months and we've had some great conversations, heard old stories for the first time and spent HOURS laughing and enjoying being together. My dad and step-mom have been alternating shifts with me and my sister so that two of us are always there with her. But for the month or so, my sister, step-mom and I have all been there all the time and my dad only goes to work during the day and he's there every night and on weekends with us. We have all enjoyed being with one another and visiting with the folks that come to see Nanny [my grandma]. When there are more than two visitors in addition to the four of us, it tends to make her nervous. That has been an issue going back to when she came home from the hospital at the end of November. With each passing day and/or additional person in the room, her anxiety level increased exponentially. The hospice nurse told us to start giving her X amount of Ativan before the visitors arrived. I also asked her what she thought about setting up the living room (on the opposite end of the house from the family room where she spent the day and where she would see visitors). It would reduce the number of people in the room, make it easier for her to talk and hear with all the ambient conversations gone, and it would prevent a worse-case-scenario that had already happened twice in the few days after she came home- there were 20+ people there both times and I wasn't happy about it. That second night, people were still there at 10pm and, after dropping several less than subtle hints, I had to be rather blunt! Nanny had already went to bed almost an hour earlier and two of my cousins wanted to go in and tell her goodbye (wake her up) and I told them if they tried they'd be going home with a limp! As the weeks have passed, she feels less and less like spending a lot of time with visitors. My dad is an only child and my sister and I are her only grandkids, so she already has her entire family there almost all the time. My dad's cousins and several living aunts/uncles make up more than half of the visitors. She and my grandfather were founding members of their church in 1954 along with my great-aunt & uncle. The pastor visits at least twice every week and talks about how she is the last living church founder and how much gratitude the church has for all she and my grandfather contributed....in writing, it actually sounds very sweet and it is just the kind of thing she needs to hear to know that she made a difference and built something that will live long after her! BUT in reality it actually comes across as scripted, insincere, trite and in the words of Nanny after he leaves, "A load of bull shhtt"- she says it just like that, without the "i" sound, so it's not cussing, according to her. I told her that I have to leave the room every time he comes now because all I want to do is beat him unconscious with his own Bible!!! She told me to try my best to hold back, but if I couldn't she felt certain that the Lord would forgive me. =) It's amazing what a sense of humor this woman has kept all the way up to the end- she is amazing. I finally decided that people needed to call prior to coming so we could always know when and how many to expect at all times. And a few days later we realized that people needed to call to see if she was up to company prior to coming because she was having ups and downs in the same day, from one hour to the next. My sister and I both posted it on Facebook, we sent it to the church to be included in the Church Bulletin and I even made laminated signs and posted them at both entrance doors and on a sign at the end of the driveway. We just asked for them to call us and provided cell phone numbers for my dad, step-mom, sister and myself. We asked that they NOT call the home phone in case she was sleeping. We also said that we would let them know if she was feeling up to visitors or not and asked that all everyone limit their visits to 20 minutes or so. I even mentioned that we were keeping a log of everyone who calls when she isn't feeling well and reading them to her when she feels better so she will know that they wanted to see her and made the effort. I even went so far as to say that even if things didn't work out for someone to see her (before she dies), she will know that they called and wanted to see her and she would leave this world knowing that.
While I put great effort into making all letters and postings as kind and gentle as possible and expected traffic in and out of the house to slow down and be more manageable, instead ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!!! The people from church were especially offended by it and the home phone started ringing off the hook within an hour of church ending....so I removed (ripped) every phone in the house out of the plug. Then Dad's cell phone started and I would answer it instead of him....mostly hang-ups when they determined that it wasn't him. So I called their number back from my cell phone and asked them if they had just called my dad and their call was disconnected...and what could I do for them!? For the next two days dad and my step-mom's phone rang off the hook and my sister got at least a dozen text messages every hour...it was insane, to put it mildly. We were all getting calls and texts as early as 5am and as late as 2am and I finally SNAPPED! I posted a new message on mine and my sister's Facebook pages and on the church's Facebook page AND their website's announcement section! Tact, diplomacy and the feelings of others were NOT factors in my choice of words this time- just brutal honesty and calling things as I see them. I thanked everyone who had called to ask if she felt up to having company and for understanding if we told her that she wasn't. Then I said that I was aware that some people were angry and offended for being asked to call and ask before coming by- and if I hurt your feelings, I don't give a rat's @ss! How dare you try to make this about you and how you feel when my grandmother is dying and we are trying to do what is best for her! If you have called, texted, emailed any of us about YOUR feelings being hurt or that I offended YOU- from this point forward, YOU ARE NOT WELCOME IN THIS HOUSE unless Nanny specifically asks to see you! She knows NOTHING about any how childish and selfish so many of you behaved and she never will! It is amazing how many people that are so desperate to see her haven't set foot in her house since my grandfather died in 1998? It is even more unbelievable that none of you bothered to come during the past seven years that she has been unable to attend church! Only when you heard that she just has weeks to live did you suddenly desire to see her! Guilt is a VERY powerful thing and it is a heavy burden to carry. Even if you aren't able to see her before she leaves this world, perhaps you should spend some time on your knees praying for forgiveness....Nanny has forgiven ALL, she is holding onto nothing but LOVE. If you sincerely feel any guilt or remorse for anything you have or haven’t' done for her, I think you can God on the same page as Nanny.

'I'm the Devil Incarnate now...yet another job to do!!!' posted by allfiredup @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

allfiredup — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 11:23:00 -0000

'Alzheimer's and pillboxes- is there a simple solution?' posted by leedee @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

leedee — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 22:14:48 -0000

The best thing ever is a MEDQ Pillbx. I set it for two weeks. When it's time to take my pills. It flashes in the individual box I need to take. If I don't see it an alarm beeps as well. I haven't missed a pill in months

MEDQPILLBOX.com and its only 40 bucks. It's Amazing

'so and so's dead, and so is so and so' posted by Rachel28 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Rachel28 — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 02:32:06 -0000

My grandmother recently turned 84, and is suffering with depression and anxiety for which she is medicated. Often it is very difficult to have a 'normal' conversation with her. She is always talking about how her husband died 10 years ago, and this person died and this person is dead...it is downright depressing to have any conversation with her because somehow it always ends with well so and so used to do this or this, but they're dead now. It's frustrating I have suggested getting her involved in things socially, but she says well then those people will all just die too and I just don't want too. The only time I can get her out of the house to do anything is her physical therapy, or Doctor's appointment, otherwise she just wants to be alone. She made a comment that really struck a chord with me the other day saying the Australian Open is on and how she's figured she'd be dead already. I don't know what to do, it's exhausting being the only positive force in her life.

'What are you thankful for?' posted by Loving husband @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Loving husband — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 14:57:08 -0000

Once again, I say that I am so very thankful that God has allowed my two maltese dogs(kids) to remain with me. My little girl Tyler continues to suffer from a heart murmur and related problems and my little boy Teddy now is having some issues with his coordination/memory. I am thankful for a wonderful pair of vets who continue to be able to help them with medication, in whom I have complete trust and who have never suggested the sad alternative. They turned 15 in November and although they and I have had some touch and go moments, together we continue to live and honor the memory of and remember my dear wife Patty who left us on August 11, 2009. I am also thankful for the friend who I met thru caring.com with whom I communicate thru e-mails as regularly as I can. He has helped me on many occasions when I needed some good advice or just someone to write and talk to when I was facing bumps in the road of life and survival without Patty. He truly understands the road on which I walk because he lost his wife near the same time I lost Patty. I am thankful for the few friends who have remained wih me after my loss. Many have gone away but the few that stayed are a blessing and I am proud that they consider an old lonely guy like me as their friend - God,please Bless them. Lastly but certainly not least, thank you Dear God for putting up with me thru my low times when I almost lost all faith and turned away from you in anger and despair. God, please Bless caring.com for being here for me - thank you so very much.

'Problems Controling Temper, Frustration, No Supprt' posted by LyndaFerg @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

LyndaFerg — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 16:10:45 -0000

Hi, I understand the frustrations and the feelings of being overwhelmed with caring for your elderly parent. I am taking care of my father, which presents challenges everyday.

This site is a wonderful resource for finding help, not only for your parent, but also for you. But another site I have found helpful, is flylady.net[flylady.net]. Though it has nothing to do with caring giving for your elderly, the main message is to help you focus not only on yourself, but to implement routines to help you manage daily life, one baby step at a time.

Sometimes when life gets so overwhelming, the desire to do anything subcomes. The members of this group are wonderful and supportive. I have found it very helpful over the years.

Remember, you are not alone with caring for your mom. There are many of us out here in the same situations.

Good Luck, & keeps postings updates.. We do care!

Lynda

'baclofen pump for stroke?' posted by Anonymous @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Anonymous — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 23:14:47 -0000

Hello all, My wife (43) suffered a stroke 12/2009 and is left with loss of sensation and paralysis/weakness on left side. Another fun side effect is the spasticity. Her hand is in a fist, stiffness in leg and foot bend and point in.
We have treated with Botox which works but Dr is using max dose and while this works it does not work perfect.

We are scheduled for a baclofen pump implant in Feb '12 and was looking for anyone that has experience with it.

all info has come from Medtronics (manufacturer) so we want some impartial experiences.

Thanks for any and all feedback.

Cary

'Problems Controling Temper, Frustration, No Supprt' posted by Caring Community @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Caring Community — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 19:15:25 -0000

Hello 'Youngestsib', Thank you for sharing your caregiving challenges. Sorry you are experiencing these emotions of frustration during this time. Below are a few resources that may be helpful to you in your quest for answers about caregiving:

1.) "Stage three in the stages of grief: Anger, frustration, and bitterness" is one of the stages listed in the article called "The Stages of Grief": http://www.caring.com/articles/anger-stage

2.) If your mother has Alzheimer's or Dementia, consider signing up for our customizable resource guide for Alzheimer's caregivers called "Steps and Stages". Through this free resource, you will also be able to sign up for an online support group of caregivers, like you, who exchange stories, ideas and advice about the issues they face when giving care for their loved ones: http://www.caring.com/steps-stages/alzheimers

3.) If you haven't done so already, you may consider hiring additional help with your mother so that you may have some respite from time to time. You may search for in-home care, Area Agencies on Aging for local resources, and other types of care providers in our Senior Care Directory at www.caring.com/local.

You may search for additional resources by entering key words and questions in the Caring.com database at www.caring.com/search.

We hope this information is helpful to you and your loved one as you face these challenges. Don't hesitate to contact us if you need help finding further resources. -Kind regards from the Caring Community Team

'Does anyone have a parent with C O P D?' posted by baby girl @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

baby girl — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 12:36:38 -0000

And by the way, I have coppied your words so I can keep them close and will come back to read often, evrything you wrote is true and you have a wonderful way of saying it! Thank you again my lil Angel!

'Problems Controling Temper, Frustration, No Supprt' posted by Youngestsib @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Youngestsib — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 00:40:55 -0000

Thank you for your suggestion. None of the problems my mother has warrants hospice care. Her memory problems are not threatening her health--the worst may be that she's forgetting how to cook! Balance is becoming more of a problem but she is mostly very careful. It's me that has the pretty bad days and trouble controlling the "overwhelm" when looking at what needs to be done...Nope, I'm not ready for hospice either!! There are just times when I can see I can't get enough accomplished, and there seem to be no supports for us.

'Problems Controling Temper, Frustration, No Supprt' posted by kdav @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

kdav — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 00:12:28 -0000

try to get hospice care through medicare they can be very helpful

'Does anyone have a parent with C O P D?' posted by baby girl @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

baby girl — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 02:05:20 -0000

Aww, Thank you so much Terrie, You have such a wonderful outlook ,you have a beautiful soul, and your words are powerful and true I know, My Sweet Moma is and always will be with me. You words of wisdom have uplifted me and I am sure will help others that read this too. You truly must be an Angel sent down here from Heaven because you have given me new Hope and Faith and a whole new outlook. I have handed it all over to God and feel that with him guiding me, I can get through anything!! I can not tell you how Thankful and Blessed I feel for your comfort and inspiration.God Does love us and he is with us always! Blessings of Gods Love, Comfort, and Strenght be with you my kind hearted friend. Big Hugs, Teresa (Baby Girl)

'Who else would give up the Caregiver "Job" if you could?' posted by LadyVictoria @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

LadyVictoria — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 01:43:24 -0000

I feels so much for those of us who feel we are in a trap because of no support. I made the choice to take care of my mom while my sibling made the choice not to do so. So I did make the choice. I did not turn to help in time, e.g. elder ministry at church, interfaith support group, eldercare network, hiring an aide, etc. This was in part because my mother would refuse all this. She was stubborn in a lot of regards. At the end, I called hospice. Hospice is wonderful, but we actually waited too long. For all of you with end-of-life elders who are your caregiving focus, please call hospice. If you get hospice in your home, Medicare pays for it all. Aides, bathers, nurses, people to give you respite so you can do your errands and your life. I would rather have my elder at home with hospice than at an assisted living facility with peepants all day long and strapped in a chair in a dark room or a tv room with no one talking to him/her. Believe it or not, the world does understand when you have to take family leave (legally required FMLA time off) or at least has to abide by the law to give you the time off. We do need help. I never felt guiltly or mad about it, we only have one mother/father, when she/he is gone, that is it, our job is done.

'Problems Controling Temper, Frustration, No Supprt' posted by Youngestsib @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Youngestsib — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 20:31:40 -0000

I'm sure this has been written about endlessly, but even with therapy (lifelong!) and medications for bi-polar and ADHD, I still can't control the anger--almost yelling at times--with my 91-year old Mom. I understand totally that she is declining, both mentally/memory and physically, but I've been "caring for" my parents my whole life--I was raised that way and couldn't break away. Dad died in 2000, so here in north Georgia, Mom and I are alone. The rest of the family--my brother, who may call once a month to speak to Mom for a few minutes, and her grandchildren (who have no contact at all)have abandoned us. I am on permanent disability from my emotional problems. Our income is very limited. I try to do maintenance, housekeeping, shopping, doctor's visits, now increasingly more cooking, and being an emotional support to a mother who did not support me. We do not have friends here--we're Yankees in the deep South. This area doesn't have the federal and state programs that you see on the internet. And when Mom is gone, I'll be 10 times worse off. I don't know what to do anymore--I keep trying, as I have all my life, but I'm getting pretty desperate. How do you control your emotions?

'COMING TO THE END OF MY TETHER!' posted by Mam's aide @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Mam's aide — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 18:54:08 -0000

thank you for your kind words! It helps so much when I am heard and appreciated!

what the sister has done since then is phone the insurance company we made a claim from or hurricane damage(the first claim in 20 years) and told them it was fraudulent, AND phoned in anonymously and told them we forged the signature on the check! subsequently the insurance company investigated, were satisfied so they closed the claim. She then phone back and threatened them with her lawyer if they didn't reopen the claim. I think she is sick - her resentment has got to the level of obsession now and she will not stop doing these stunts. Thank you again!

'Who else would give up the Caregiver "Job" if you could?' posted by LyndaFerg @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

LyndaFerg — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 14:29:31 -0000

I would leave in a heartbeat if I had the opportunity to do so.

For those that say I had a choice, you are right. My CHOICE, to stand by my father was/is my own.

Even though, I don't remember making the choice of loosing my business, that I fought for 10 years to make a decent earning with. I could have made the choice of tending to my clients when I found available time, but don't think they would have appreciated phone calls at 1 in the am.

I don't remember making the choice of loosing my marriage, due to the lack of time spend with my husband. Even though, I could have made the choice of accepting my husband finding another person to spend time with.

I don't remember making the choice of loosing my home, due to the fact of loosing my marriage, and my job.

I could have made the choice to simply walk away from my Dad and return to the life I once had and allow my relatives to help. But, I don't remember making the choice of all of them passing away, and being the only one left, to hold the bag.

The choices I know I can make: I do make the choice of accepting that it is the disease that spews the daily barrage of hurtful words, constant argument, and the distortion of my father's personalty, and physical being.

But, I do not for the life of me, remember making the choice of my Dad getting Alzheimer, that turned him into a shell of a man that I once loved.

I do choice not to allow others that do no walk in my shoes & know my heart, to pass judgement upon me.

I also choice to give my heart, love, prayers & thoughts to all Caregivers out there, no matter what circumstance they maybe in.

'Does anyone have a parent with C O P D?' posted by tmybaby44 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

tmybaby44 — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 05:18:20 -0000

Baby Girl, Go get a good happy Picture of you and your Mom or just a picture of your Mom. Look at that picture take yourself back to that day or just simply make something up but make it like pure paradise that your Mom and you are at and or all of you out there your Mom and dad's. Have fun with this day dream go there be in that paradise with them see them as the beautiful people that they truely are, I say are because they are still here just not in body in spirit. The Spirit of Jesus, God, Holy Spirit and or Holy Ghost is so awesome, It can take you places you have never dreamed of going to before. Well thats where they are and in your dreams and day dreams you can be there too! You don't ever have to let go of the people we love who have passed on to a better place, don't ever let go but do let them Rest in Peace, and to do this you can day dream and dream. God does love you still when you dream, joke, laugh and cry, he Hears us and knows why and what we are going to do before we do it. When some one has loss there memory always remember they can still hear. Part of the brain is still where they so want to be but they can not express it. I like useing loss of memory sounds so much better and feels better to . Pray with them even if you think they don't know because guess what they do. Why do I say that. Well because God protects his children and he so protects the ones whom have lost there memory with what ever else goes along with it. If you look at things like this with a positive attitude things in life will seem so much different almost like a live angel your taking care of because that is what your doing. Your prepaing this person for enternal life what an awesome thing to do for someone don't you think? I sure do. Gods love through another person or maybe alone is so awesome. Always think of the good times and let go of the bad and most of all forgive them for smoking and dieing because guess what? It was Gods plan they be taken it was there time to go and be with him and prepare for the new and old to come in the new world to come. Jesus loves all and he loves you. The COPD isn't that bad if you have God at your side and are lucky enough to have Daughter's like you both and son's etc. Loved ones at your side or even prayer. Your never alone if you have Jesus at your side and Jesus driving for you and Taking the WHEEL at all times. May God bless you always in Jesus name and know that your loved. Always in Gods loves and ways, Terrie

'Does anyone have a parent with C O P D?' posted by baby girl @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

baby girl — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 00:57:59 -0000

Oh I am so thankful for the encouraging words of kindness and comfort! I cried while reading your posts... tmybaby44, I'm sorry for you having this horrible stuff too, you share very good advise and information, sounds like you have armed yourself with lots of knowledge about this stuff, is good because the more we know,the more we can help ourselves and others..I feel PULMONARY DRs and FAITH IN GOD are the two key components to battling through this horrible COPD too, we can not cure it , so we must learn to cope with it and try to stay possative. I know you are right about keeping stress out, definately can't breath with the anxiety attacks, which was alot of my moms problem as well, there is so much I didn't know in the begining when mom first got sick. She was refered to so many diff kinds of dr.s but the only one she really needed in the end was the PULMONARY.I was so lucky to be able to be with her through it al even though she became a different person as the alzhiemers progressed and right now I only seem to be able to remember her in her suffering and weakened state , I hope in time I will be able to recall more of the healthy and happy mom that was always there for me.You are a very caring person I can tell, I believe too that you were sent to this site right when I needed you and I thank God for the Blessing of you and for all the encouragement I have found here.Your possative words have really lifted my spirits.

I am sorry for you too Marley26, losing your mom and dad so close together had to be very difficult, your mom was very fortunate to have you there with her, I agree it is only natural that children should be there for their parents when they need them, they were there for us and if not for them there would be no us... I know that peaceful look you spoke of.. my mom looked so peaceful when her time came, she was ready to go into Gods loving arms, and she would never want me to be like this, regretting and so sad and crying, she told me early on that she looked forward to leaving this crazy world we live in these days and to see the Lord and all of her lost family and friends there. That is what I have to remind myself that she is in a much better place with no more pain... And I have felt that cold draft all around me and I will think of it just that way now, to be my mom wrapping her love around me to say she is ok and in a better happier place, that gives me something to hold on to, I thank you more than words can say for that and all your kind and encouraging words. I know you are right and the way you put it gives me such comfort. I do talk to both of my sisters but they live hundreds of miles away from me and each other and they don't talk to each other, due to a childhood grudge that they never out grew, and both must be suffering through the loss of our mom badly but don't want to admit it and they dont seem to want to talk about it. I don't hold anything against them, and have forgiven them as I know my mom would have and would want me to, so I try not to say too much but I have things I feel should be shared and remembered, good things...I hope that maybe some day they will want to know more about it...but until then I guess we just wont talk about it ,which is sad cause they are all that is left of our entire family.. and we are all we have, aside from my hubby and son, I have no more family...well now I have 2 young grandchildren living with me which gives me more reason to fight this stuff and hang in here as long as God will grant me. I am thankful for every moment here on earth I have been givin with my family and loved ones. That is what we all must try to do cherish each day God has givin us and have faith that he is with us always , walking us through this journey of life, bringing us ever closer to him and his glorious kingdom... Thank you both again, Gods Blessings, Hugs, and Possative Energies coming to you

Baby Girl (Teresa)

'COMING TO THE END OF MY TETHER!' posted by theyoungestdaughter @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

theyoungestdaughter — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 22:04:48 -0000

Just reading this & hope court wasn't too painful. Your s-i-l probably thinks she is doing something good by all this when really she is desperately doing all she cannot to deal directly with her mother. She probably is incapable. You are a good wife & loving person to care for someone else's Mom, especially when one of her own kids tears you down. I pray God gives you peace & comfort. Keep your head up!

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