Parent's pity party

                  I can sympathize with you on this. Negativity is really hard to deal with as a caregiver. Sometimes the situation can be negative enough in itself without the added stress of a bad attitude. With my Aunt, I always try to match a positive to the negative in which she speaks. Some days this helps, if only to quiet her. Alot of times negative people don't like hearing from positive people so they stop talking so they don't have to hear it. As for your Dad, Assure him of your love and care for him, remind him that if you did'nt care about him you would'nt be there. Tell him his conditions are painful for you to deal with too, and you only want whats best for him so you can continue to be his caregiver, and that the best way to do that is for him to take his medicene and try to help you remain positive even in the midst of difficulty. When it comes to the refusal of the medicene, my Aunt also does this from time to time. The response her Dr. gave to me is that I can't force her to take it. That is a hard piece of advice to take as a caregiver, because that's what we do as caregiver's we CARE!...........Know that you are not alone, hopefully once he settles down and thinks about this for awhile he will come around. Also, If you don't mind me asking, What type of work did your Father do before? Sometimes this can be helpful in identifying other areas where they can find activities to take up some of their free time.........Here's a Hug! I really hope things get better for you.

Thanks so much, smileyflower for your kind words and a hug. I guess thats just what I needed as sometimes we feel we are all alone out here. I understand about your aunt too, our doctor told me the same thing about dad, you can't force them. I respect that as I would want to be treated the same way. We all have our own choice of what we wish to do. Well today he is better, he's taking his natural stuff but won't take his meds. I warned him if symptoms come, its his choice, so I can only hope and pray he will start taking them before symptoms come. I found prayer helps alot. Some backgnd on dad. He was an auto mechanic, carpenter, mason, all kinds of manly stuff. he's an ex merchant marine. He does not believe in God or religion so pray is out of the question for him. he respects Native American culture so there is a spark of light there. He's a kind man but also rough. being that he can't see well or get around well, it makes him mad and he feels trapped in his body, yet he does not want to die and enjoys at times his life. I try my best to help him and I make him laugh a lot but he quickly goes back to negative. Sometimes he surprises me with positive behavior so thats great. I want the end of his life to be as best as possible so I will keep trying. Thanks again, I just needed a boost yesterday. All is well again.

Hi Arianna,

            I'm glad all is well again for you. Your Father sounds like a very interesting man who's led a very active life before all of this other. I'll bet he has a lot of stories to tell. Bet he could write a book, well put it on tape anyway. I know he does'nt see well. Would he be interested in something like that? I find that the older my siblings and I get, the more we long to hear the stories of our parents and relatives, you know, document them and preserve the memories of them for generations to come. I'm going to try to work on this with my Aunt and Mom. I believe this would be such a precious gift for the whole family. Just a thought, maybe your Dad would enjoy putting something like this together, plus it can be an ongoing project for him.

                                                                                            Take Care,Melissa