Hi all..
I just found this site and am hoping to get some good advice. My mother desperately needs to go to the doctor. She has difficulty walking and I have been trying to get her to go see a doctor for the past 1 1/2 - 2 years. She had one hip replaced 10 years ago and really needs the other one done.
I've tried everything I can think of to get her to go but now she refuses. She is afraid she will get 'bad news'. I am sure she will since she can hardly walk anymore. Finally she agreed to go see a doctor because she has cataracts. She will have eye surgery but needs her primary physicians to give her the OK for surgery. She said she won't go if she has to get a physical. I finally had to tell her if she doesn't call for the appt, I will.
I am about at my wits end here.. any ideas?? Sorry for so long too.
Call and make an appointment for her. Advise the doctors office that you are having a great deal of trouble getting your mother in to see the doctor, explain her condition, and ask for THEIR help:
Request they send a LETTER to your mothers house asking her to come in to update their records. Be sure to have them include that is is necessary that she come in PERSON to sign some paperwork.
Make sure they do NOT mention anything about an exam... etc. Have the DOCTOR to sign the letter requesting her HELP explaining it is very important that SHE be there in person to update their records.
So many times our parents will 'listen' to a doctor/doctor's office quicker than a daughter or son and keep the appointment.
Say NOTHING more about the visit. Drive her to the doctors office, and stay with her. Ask them to have some 'paperwork' for her to fill out while she is waiting, even if it is duplicate of what is on file for her already!! And if she has to go to another room, to provide yet another 'questionaire' for her to complete and review WITH the doctor.
I am confident that she will get the exam she needs, and then the doctor can further discuss her medical needs, etc.
I do hope this helps you.
I asked her about making the appointment today she said.. Oh I'll call Monday.. so I called them today and made the appointment myself.
It's just step one to get her to physician to get the tests done for cataracts surgery which she desperately needs.
Thank you so much for the response... it does give me some ideas. She is always suspicious so I don't know how much of the plan will work :-D
I'm so happy you made the appointment, Becky. You're in a tough spot because there's one part of you, I'm sure, that's saying, "She's my mother! She's an adult. She can make her own decisions. If she wants to suffer, she can choose that." But the other side of you has got to be screaming, "Take care of yourself!!! It's worth it!!!"
Maybe i'm nuts, but I have a hunch that once your mom gets to the doc, a can of worms will be opened. It's just getting here there that's the hard part. Sometimes I think our parents just think it's easier to not go and not know than go deal with whatever lies ahead. But once they're in the process, they handle it better than we'd think.
Please keep us updated. I'll be thinking about you!
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