How do I reconcile this debt?

You might want to check out some professionals that offer claims assistance or medical bill assistance.  Try http://www.patientadvocate.org/ [patientadvocate.org].  There are professionals that do this as well; claims.org and medicalbilladvisor.com.  Good luck!

Thank you I'll check that out!

If your mother owned property (and there is no spouse or minor children to be cared for) you need to start the probate process and have an executor/administrator appointed so someone will have legal authority to deal with her creditors. If she own property you will probably need to liquidate those assets and pay the creditors. If there is a spouse and/minor children left behind and need to be provided for, the property could pass to the husband...and the creditors can be told that there is no estate beyond the residence and social security income.

The probate process will require creating an inventory of the deceased's assets...that will let you know what she had to appy to bills. I would also get in touch with all the credits...contact the names on the bills and try to determine who she owed and for what services rendered. You can tell them that your mother is deceased and her estate is yet to be determined...but it appears she had no assets. They will ask for a copy of the death certificate..and might follow up with you later. I did this with my father...called all his doctors, hospitals and creditors and told him of his passing and that he left no estate to speak of and his widow was living in the family home. Good Luck

The original post was 2 yrs ago. I will add additional information that may help subsequent readers. My ex-husband had no estate, other than piles of hidden/old debts. I took over this chore for my children and accomplished it easily, 2 ways:

1. Request a copy of the credit report and explain your reason. (A credit report will show any open judgements and reports on file. These claimants should be contacted first. In most states, a Judgement is good for only 7 years and a bad debt for only 5 yrs. Don't worry if the original creditor sold off the debt to someone at a later debt. The LAST PAYMENT MADE BY YOUR RELATIVE is considered the date of effect of the default, not the date of the subsequent debt transfers, regardless of WHAT THE CREDIT COMPANIES TELL YOU. Check it out with your State Attorney General's Office!)

Then tell the Creditors, by letter or phone, the person is deceased and to stop contact by mail, e-mail and telephone and that there was no estate. Give your name and address and relationship as verification. Don't talk longer! - When it was a large debt, I did send an uncertified copy of the Death Certificate, so the company knew it was not a scam. I did not send it registered or certified as some requested. My time and expenses were enough!

1. Collect all findable bills. Separate them by company(and purpose if same company, i.e. auto/car/house ins). Throw out all bills except the most recent TWO from that company (in case there is a payment on 1 and it's not reflected on the other, or 1 is just a late notice.

2. BE KIND TO ALL THE COLLECTORS, REGARDLESS OF HOW UNKIND THEY ARE TO YOU. YOU'RE REPRESENTING SOMEONE YOU LOVED!

I am facing a similar situation. This isn't the place for me to add my own question, but it is at least an opportunity for like minded people with similar issues (did that make any sense)for me tosee and did.

My mom is in a nursing home, just this past month. she has a decent amount of credit card debt. some were there before her Alzheimers got bad and some, if not more was added when I became her power of attorney and used the cards to supplement our way of life. We live together, or did in moms house. I am added as an authorized user on the cards. This was done while mom was still lucid, thank goodness. I guess what I am saying is I am feeling very guilty and I am not sure why. I am not typing on a brand new PC or laptop, Iphone or anything of the like bought on her credit cards. I dont have a new car thanks to mom's CC. As a matter of fact, I am driving her 2002 Hyundai which is still in her name. I guess that is wrong but I cant imagine the insurance change if and when transferred to me. the house is in the process, hopefully to my name to save it from Medicaid, all legal and truthful. I haven't made any large, or what maybe considered items that i want just for me, new TV, anything. I think I said this already. I used them for stores, like Walmart, walgreens because I was afraid of $liquidity since both our income is monthly from the gov't. I am disabled. I didn't want to be taking cash advances on c/c's. Instead would use the ATM and cannot recall what that was used for all the time. I am positive it wasn't just for house stuff as made use of it for myself. I also used my $ for house stuff by theway, including taxes, home insurance many things. I don't want to bethought of as a freeloader. I took care of mom for almost 3 years until recently almost all by myself. OK, that doesn't make me a saint and entitle me to anything improper, just a factoid

If and when mom's house does get transferred out of her name and her IRA was liquidated gradually over the past few years and isn't subject to the look-back,and mom has no other tangible asset other than her car, I can't think of a reason to keep legally paying her credit cards. Medicaid will soon be taking all but $75 of her income which leaves me to try and keep mom's house ( it will always be mom's house no matter whose name its in, as I feel) running and paying the monthly bills and quarterly taxes etc. If I have to try and pay the credit cards, I'll be losing the home in a mere matter of months.

I can see no way or reason to pay these bills even though I was the one who used them, even without as said before any personal major purchases. I have severe mixed emotions but few options as I see. I would love to see if anyone has had similar situations.

In looking back and reading, spell checking and adding, i apologize as this seems more like a therapy session and absolution for my quilt.
Guilt for what I am not sure, considering my sister said put mm in a home 2 years ago. that makes almost 200thousand not spent for that.

Relax, Daughter. We know you love your Mom. Don't dwell on your mistakes. It is very hard to be poor! Check out my post above, for the past bills in your mother's name alone, and notify the creditors. I'm afraid you will be responsible for those bills that you SHARED with your mother or services you continue to use and those that will be transferred into your name. For example, if your mother had cable television and you wish to continue cable television in the home, you will HAVE to pay off her previous debt, as it is attached to the house. (My son went through this. In order(years later) to have cable installed in his father's home, he had to pay off his father's previous debt,from when my son was a MINOR child.)

If you have siblings, you need their permission to remain in the house. You will need to notify Social Services AND Social Security as to your circumstances. Your income will be changing. There are new rules regarding nursing homes, Medicaid, and persons over 55 (you and/or your Mom). You may need an advisor to help you sort through these, if you haven't kept up on your 2011 politics! Some rules are Federal and some vary State to State. Beware of WHOM you disclose WHAT to. Perhaps a FREE consultations with a general attorney and a debt consultation service may help.

As far as a Power of Attorney, getting the house in your name, check these out 1st- are there back taxes, overdue mortgage/rent, utilities, serious repairs? Check the home assessment. You may decide NOT to keep the home in your name, but rather sell it, rent it or move. If you choose to keep the home you may proceed with all the paperwork, without an attorney, through your County Surrogates Court (I'm not necessarily recommending this), if your siblings have no objections to your remaining in the house and it was a small or "negative" estate. Very simple paperwork. The State websites contain the appropriate forms and research to answer your questions. The Surrogates Court personnel are wonderful, also.

You MUST keep accurate records as Power of Attorney, depending what your responsiblities are. I suggest you hire a Fee-For-Service CPA to keep the books and file the appropriate tax forms for you, at least for the 1st 2 yrs.

This is just "been there, done that" advice to protect you.

I am so glad someone has brought this subject up as,I too,am dealing with this. My father had no will when he died last September. My mom is living with me and has alittle retirement money from a nursing job she held for 18 yrs, back in the late 1960's thru' the 1970's. She is also receiving my dad's social security amount each month. They had supplemental medical insurance along with the medicare at the time of my father's death. I have been getting outstanding bills each month for what the insurance did not pay. I just don't see any way these can be paid. I am not able to help with them and the money is just not there.(no home or assets to speak of.) I have been advised by friends to just call the agencies and let them know he is deceased. Now with my mom's mental state (77 yrs.old.) I am afraid in the end I may not be able to handle it all by myself. My sister isn't helping at all and I will have to find assisted living arrangements or get outside help to come in. I have been told to apply for medical to help out. Does anyone out there have any advise on how to start this process. I feel so weary and frustrated at times, I'm not sure if I can keep going, but I know I have to. Thank you for being here. God bless you all!