depression after hip surgery

Hi there!  Welcome to Caring's community!

I sure wish I had some great advice for you.  Yours is a difficult, but common situation.  We have gone through that with both of my parents.  It's interesting because their generation has such a different view of issues like depression than ours.  It's so taboo!  And unnecessarily so. 

My mom and I had some lengthy discussions about depression and what finally convinced her to get help was a conversation about not committing to anything.  I told her she could go to the doc, listen to what he had to say, make a choice about her treatment, and accept it on a trial basis.  If a med he suggested, for example, didn't seem to work, then we re-evaluate.  Nothing was forever.  It took awhile, but she came around.

Do you feel like her depression is triggered by her inability to get around?  Is she maybe missing interaction with her friends that she'd see at meetings, church, shopping, etc?  Is she in a good deal of pain?  Is she frustrated with the length of time it's taking for her to recover?  Maybe if you can identify what is getting her down, you can try to make a change in her environment to perk her up.  If she's missing her friends, for example, maybe you could (very carefully) take her for a visit or plan coffee for her group at her house. 

Good luck!  I'll be interested in seeing what others post!

Oh soccermom, do I ever feel your pain.

I have a parent—not naming names, but you know who you are, Mom—who struggles with depression but absolutely refuses to seek treatment. In my parent's case, depression has been an issue for many years, and we've had more conversations about it than I can count, so I've accepted there's not much I can do for her.

Was your mother's depression triggered by her hip problems, or has she been depressed for a long time? If her hip trouble is an exacerbating factor, I think the approach Missy suggested is an excellent one: short-term treatment might help raise the floor for her while she recovers, but she doesn't have to commit to anything.

Oh, and Missy: it sounds like you were able to make great progress with your mom. Would you come over and talk to mine, please?

Hey Stephanie!  Get your mom to post, I'll bet that will raise her spirits!   

I'm sorry you've had to deal with this with your mom.  It can be so frustrating when all you want to do is help your parent feel better!