http://www.caring.com/forums/caring-central/brother en-us 60 <p>ty&nbsp; so much for&nbsp; the&nbsp; advice , i have&nbsp; been&nbsp; finding&nbsp; little thing for&nbsp; him&nbsp; to do&nbsp; and&nbsp; it has&nbsp; seemed&nbsp; to help lots&nbsp; he&nbsp; was&nbsp; very&nbsp; indenpent&nbsp; before&nbsp; he&nbsp; also lived in&nbsp; another&nbsp; state&nbsp; and&nbsp; had to come&nbsp;&nbsp; here&nbsp; so&nbsp; yes&nbsp; he&nbsp; has&nbsp;&nbsp; gave&nbsp; up a lot&nbsp;&nbsp;,,,,,,,,&nbsp;&nbsp; but&nbsp; i had never&nbsp; though&nbsp; of&nbsp; it&nbsp; like&nbsp; u said&nbsp;&nbsp; so&nbsp; ty&nbsp; so much&nbsp; for&nbsp; that&nbsp;</p> Wed, 08 Jul 2009 13:38:07 -0000 www.caring.com:5:647:4318 pmassey http://www.caring.com/forums/caring-central/brother <p>Ugh!&nbsp; It sounds like you have a classic case of caring for someone is very independent.&nbsp; I'm betting your brother views needing help as a sign of weakness.&nbsp; And seriously...being treated for pancreatic cancer and having open heart surgery would definitely make someone weak!&nbsp; It must have all been a hard blow for him to accept.</p><p>I&nbsp;don't know if this will work, but when my mom recently stayed with us for a few weeks while recovering from surgery, the thing that made her happiest was feeling like she was, in someway, helping me.&nbsp; If I asked her to set the table, she cheered right up.&nbsp; When&nbsp;I asked her to do a puzzle with my children so I&nbsp;could work for a bit, she was thrilled.&nbsp; Do you think there is any way you could make your brother feel like he's doing you a favor by being there?&nbsp; It may make a huge difference and help his ego.</p><p>Let us know how it goes!</p> Mon, 06 Jul 2009 11:57:37 -0000 www.caring.com:5:647:4275 Missy http://www.caring.com/forums/caring-central/brother <p>hi&nbsp; my brother&nbsp; just had&nbsp; pancreatic&nbsp; cancer&nbsp; surgery&nbsp;&nbsp; and&nbsp; 3&nbsp; days&nbsp; latter&nbsp; he&nbsp; had to have&nbsp; open heart&nbsp; surgery&nbsp; ,&nbsp; hes&nbsp; doing&nbsp;&nbsp; pretty&nbsp;&nbsp; well but&nbsp;&nbsp; he&nbsp; is&nbsp; getting&nbsp; ready&nbsp; to&nbsp; start&nbsp;&nbsp; chemo&nbsp; and&nbsp; rad ,,,,,,,&nbsp; he&nbsp; already&nbsp; get&nbsp; upset&nbsp; over anything and&nbsp; it has change&nbsp; him lots&nbsp;&nbsp; ,&nbsp; does any&nbsp; one&nbsp;&nbsp; no what&nbsp; i will be&nbsp; facing&nbsp; taking&nbsp; care&nbsp; of&nbsp; him&nbsp; thou&nbsp; the&nbsp; treatment&nbsp; he&nbsp; want&nbsp; to act&nbsp; like&nbsp; nothing&nbsp; wrong&nbsp; and&nbsp; more&nbsp; i do&nbsp; to help madder&nbsp; he&nbsp; gets&nbsp; ,,&nbsp; im&nbsp; try&nbsp;&nbsp; nto to&nbsp; push him just&nbsp; let&nbsp; him be&nbsp; hisself&nbsp; but&nbsp; this&nbsp; is&nbsp; very&nbsp; hard&nbsp; for&nbsp; me&nbsp; as&nbsp; much&nbsp;&nbsp; as him&nbsp; so can&nbsp; anyone&nbsp; plz&nbsp; tell me&nbsp; if&nbsp; this&nbsp; will get&nbsp; better&nbsp; for&nbsp; him or&nbsp; what&nbsp; i'm looking at&nbsp; to deal with&nbsp; all&nbsp; i want&nbsp; to do is&nbsp; be&nbsp; here&nbsp; for&nbsp; him i have&nbsp; moved&nbsp; him in my&nbsp; home but&nbsp; right&nbsp; now&nbsp; hes&nbsp; mad&nbsp; at&nbsp; ever&nbsp; body&nbsp; just&nbsp; dont&nbsp; no what&nbsp; to&nbsp; do&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> Wed, 01 Jul 2009 15:51:33 -0000 www.caring.com:5:647:4218 pmassey http://www.caring.com/forums/caring-central/brother