I know that we all are susceptible to burnout and temper flashes and depression and all that. My question is whether it's worth it? When all is said and done, will you be glad that you provided care for your family member? Even if money were no object, would you rather have family involved? I am looking for guidance about whether to cut back my work schedule to care for my mother.
I can fully understand your situation.If you are not tight on money, the best choice would be to look for home care provider. You can look in your local area who are reliable. I have hired one care giver from Oxford healthcare, home care tulsa [oxford-healthcare.com] provider and I am very much satisfied.
I didn't mean to imply that money is no object for me. What I am looking for is whether people regret making the effort to be a family caregiver. All of these forums are filled with complaints about how hard it is and how much sacrifice there is. So my question is whether people would do it all over again, knowing what you know now? Sorry for the misunderstanding.
Yes, it's worth it! I cared for my husband for seven years before he passed away from cancer. There were days when I thought I would go crazy and days when I needed to get away and couldn't, but all along I knew I was making the right decision to care for him. YOU are the one left living to deal with regrets, so I made sure I would have none. I did everything I possibly could to make sure he had the best care. Consequently, I am quilt-free.
My advice to you is to meditate on how you would feel once your mother is gone if you didn't take control of her care. Be honest with yourself. If you think you would be comfortable with a facility handling her care, then look into it. There will be days when you'll need a break from it all. Gather family and friends for support to step in when you need them to. Get away (out of town) once-in-a-while. Do something fun, something that makes you laugh real hard. When all is said and done, you'll be glad you were there for your mother to the end.
My grandmother passed away a few months ago from brain cancer and I don't regret a moment of caring for her. Yes it was stressful at times when you are taking care of someone who can't do anything for themselves(feed, use the bathroom, shower etc)but I know that she would have done the same thing for me and it gives me comfort in knowing that I was there for her during that difficult time. I sometimes miss those times now because even though most of my time (towards the end) was spent taking care of her, we had a lot of conversations about life and I was able to prove to her how much I loved her.
Make your loved one laugh, I mad her laugh all the time and I tried to talk about everything but her cancer.
Things will get better and just know that the person didn't choose to be this way.
Praying for you!
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