anyone heard of adult aspergers syndrome?

new to the site. hi!

it will be super challenging to keep this short...but i'll try...

we believe my 87 year old father has adult aspergers syndrome. he is a retired NASA aeronautical engineer / rocket scientist.

my two sisters, two brothers, mom (80) and i randomly stumbled upon information about this syndrome and, now, all his strange choices, decisions, behavior and personality quirks throughout his life seem to 'make sense'...sadly.

there is no cure. just behavior modification...and he has refused to get diagnosed or get help. and at this point, we cannot make him.

he comes across quite competent and 'normal'...helpful, great, smart, (he is most definitely a genius) rather healthy guy for 87...but he is obsessed with religion and HIS interpretation of the bible, theories on how to change the world, etc. he gets conned by the best and never ever takes accountability or responsibility for anything that goes wrong because of his poor choices. he lives for confrontation and conflict. his perception of everything is skewed to fit him and his situations. he is also extremely paranoid.

obviously, this is quite a complex situation we are in. to top it off, he and mom are divorcing after 61 years of marriage...he wanted "peace" and to be alone...so we convinced mom to actually leave him to protect her financially, legally and emotionally. she has been subservient to him all her life. never lived alone and is as super sweet as he is sour...mom is a whole different post. (!)

he has spent every penny they had on patent attorneys for his crazy inventions...and on so many other careless purchases and decisions-- too many to list.

so now the little bit they DO have left is being spent on divorce attorneys because he doesn't understand the system and wants to do things his way. everything is out of control. and nothing is getting resolved as we had planned.

no one can reason with him. they (and we) have been to pastors, counselors, doctors, lawyers...done all the research we can on aspergers...submitted the information...and no one wants to or can help. basically, everyone has given up on us. he is known to harasses these professionals (and so many others) with letters or alienates them completely afterwards since he never agrees with anything anyone says...in his eyes, he is the victim...everyone is out to destroy him or torture him...even his own children.

he was found guilty of sexual battery a year ago. his punishment was 12 months probation. no fine. and his name was not put on "the list".

he was ordered to have neurological tests and passed them all. the neurologist DID recommend psychiatric evaluation but it had to be voluntary. dad went after his lawyer saying he coerced the neurologist to put that in his report to hurt his case.

so...since he was deemed competent, we're stuck...we keep hearing he has to do something horrible or physically hurtful before we can get him the help we know he needs. outrageous.

if and when we DO get him diagnosed... we have no clue what to do next. or where he can go. right now he is living alone in their condo. it is on the market but he continues to sabotage the showing and will not cooperate fully with the realtors. even when he was ordered by the judge.

my mom lives in a small apartment and is trying to be so strong. until they sell the condo, she only has her social security and us to assist her.

we are at a loss. more than that. we are so disappointed in the lack of assistance, help, support, understanding and knowledge we are getting from so many professionals out there.

i know there are no clear cut answers... just wondering if anyone has any miraculous 'fairy dust' to sprinkle on the situation.

thanks.