Spouse with undiagnosed cancer

Hi Anonymous,

I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss. I can't imagine the pain you must be feeling. Please know that we are here to be a shoulder for you when you need us. Please let us know how you are doing.

~Laura

Thank you. It has been overwhelming for the last few months. Loosing a spouse is like have an extremity amputated with any meds.

I'm so sorry for your loss.  My dad passed away a few weeks ago and my mom is also a grieving widow.  To be very honest, the word "widow" just made me cringe.

Through our healing process I just keep telling my mom and myself, "be kind to yourself."  I'm offering the same advice to you.  

We're here for you.  And again, I'm just so sorry.  *hugs*

Thanks. All hugs are appreciated.

It has been ten months since I became a widow. You find yourself doing alot of things alone. you prepare for one person, go to church alone and events that you and your husband would do. How do you cope with this and not feel so uncomfortable.  Also, coming to your home at night alone, what do you do?

Hi Anonymous,

This is a good discussion topic, how does one cope?

I've created a new thread here for discussion. Please come join!

Grief is hard and grief is healthy too.  It will be a year in July.  There are days, I can cope with my loss and there are days, I am a wet mess. Loosing my husband is like have an arm amputated without any meds.

Laura, it will be a year in July. It feels as though it was yesterday.

It's nomal to feel a lot of "what ifs" or guilt about what one or others "should have" or "should not have" done.  I felt some of that when my wife died of cancer, after many years of illness and my caregiving. At the Well Spouse Association forum, http://wellspouse.org/forums [wellspouse.org] former well spouses write about their situations... all different, but similarities as well. Check it out.

 I am very sorry for your loss.  My husband died from a rare cancer called a liposarcoma.  We had never heard of it when he was diagnosed, and we had to go to Houston for treatment we were happy with.  My experience with cancer is that it can bring out the best in people and it can also bring out the worst.  Sometimes, these people's actions hurt more than the cancer.  Always remember you loved your husband, and he died knowing that. That's the most important thing. Are you finding any support?  It's important that you do.  The best advice I heard after Jay died was from another sarcoma widow. She told me to be gentle on myself.  I am now passing that advice on to you.  May God bless you.

                                                                                                                   Jayswife

Thanks, Laura. It is still painful. I find peace in doing work and I am richly blessed through the Grief Share at my church.It will be a year in a few days, but it is just like yesterday.

Thanks so much!  I have found that it is being good to myself is good therapy. I know you miss your husband just like I do. I have learned to Trust God in all of this.

Thanks so much. I will try that website. God Bless

For the celebrating of my husband's homegoing,  one year this month,Family and friends across the US did some random act of  kindness in his honor. Because my husband was such a giving person, he would have done those things any way, if he were here. For example, his nephews helped elderly couples with their grocery, one paid for a family to go to the movies, songs were dedicated on you-tube. I could go on and on, it was a great and kind gesture to help us cope with our lost.

Laura, since my husband's death, I have ben denied his veterans benefit. Where can i get help

Thanks

I don't know if you are still checking this site - it is new to me. I just want to say that we can't focus on the loss but the fact that we had them in our lives for as long as we did. I thank God.

thanks, that is true.