my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. all i can say is just be as strong as you can....and love her. yes at times i felt that everything was a waist of time.. but i was able to be there for my mom.. it has only been six months since she passed and i miss her every moment of my life...now taking care of my dad is important..it is hard but, with lots of love and prayer you will be able to pull though.we are here for you

My Mother, 83 was diagnosed with lung cancer after passing out at the shore. She had a blood clot in the lung. Drs. said- Fluid around it, took out some fluid, found cancer. This is August 11th. August 13th, MRI----cancer in the brain. Started radiation to the brain, 15 treatments was the plan, then attack the lung. We told the dr's we wanted to fight, wanted more time. She was sooo tired and weak, hair gone. They tried to get her to rehab a bit so she could walk, passed out on several occasions. They told us she could not do therapy, I could have told them that after a week. She was soo mad at the therapists who kept pushing her.

She never did get the chemo. She was sent home on hospice card on September 12th, four hours later, she died peacefully. I'd never do it again to anyone.

Susan, I am sorry for your loss. I just buried my Dad this past Saturday due dying through Hospice with Liver Cancer. How are you doing? Terilyn

Sorry to hijack this discussions, but Terilyn, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss. My dad passed away a few months ago and I've been thinking about him like crazy today. :-(

I am sorry for your lost Missy. My dad was diagnosed in May with Stage IV Liver Cancer and he just passed away last Wednesday. We buried him Saturday and I am still so numb I can't think.

We moved him in our guest bedroom and had assistance visits with Hospice. The room was downstairs. Often (it felt like 1,000+ times)my Dad would, though weak, yell upstairs my name to come downstairs to ask me for something...some orange juice, romote control, a comb and I would always help do as he asked. I promise Missy, I could have sworn I have heard him call out my name a few times since his passing. This is so hard to go through. I am very numb and lost right now. How are you coping Missy?

Regards, Terilyn

This sounds silly, but hold on to that sound of his voice in your ears. If I close my eyes, I can still "hear" my dad answering the phone when I call. I just teared up writing that. I remember the numbness well. That first two, or so, weeks after are filled with so many tasks.

I think the two biggest things I've learned about losing my dad are that time keeps ticking away on the clock no matter what happened to you and that people grieve quite differently. I'm the biggest advocate for grieving in a way that feels right to you, unless, of course, it's self-destructive. Cry if you want. Don't cry, if that works. Talk about your dad, or refrain for awhile. None of it is wrong. Just don't waste too much time. Don't deny yourself joy. Because as you well know, our time is limited. Don't miss an opportunity to be happy.

Those probably aren't the most profound words put together on the subject, but they pretty well sum up how I'm coping. It's still hard sometimes, I won't lie.

just remember the good times.. and do not think about the bad times when he was sick..i think of the funny times when mom would try to put trash bags on as her pants. or she would try to put her shoes on the wrong feet. or going by after work to feed her to give my dad a break....i wish i had another 6 mths to be with her.don't be bitter...it will eat a hole in your heart and you can't allow that to happen..you need your heart whole and complete... love does make it better...

Missy,\i think i'm still numb..i'm not even sure if i have grieved.. i do know i have a picture in my room where i get ready every morning..i get up around 3:45 and mom and i have our talks...my neighbor bought me a necklace when mom passed from james avery. and the front says "the heart never forgets" on the back i had the date of mom's passing engraved... i think it will always be hard. i never figured that mom would be gone one day. she would live on forever. this is going to be a very difficult time of year. this is our first thanksgiving, christmas and new years without mom.... what are we going to do. have no idea, i know that it will not be the same.... but, all in all, mom would want us to go on. she was from estonia. she came to the states when she was 17, and when she graduated from high school only one year she won a speech contest with an article in a magazine the title was "why should I live. she loved this country....oh i better stop.. the tears are coming.... love to all of you. i'm here if anyone needs me...lol...

well, last night we lost my father-in-law. he passed away peacefully. we are just trying to cope... will write later....

Ah, Susan, I'm so sorry for your loss. (((HUGS)))