'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by Terry6294 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Terry6294 — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 00:17:20 -0000

Thx So Much for your Input...We are Going to go on our cruise 2 weeks from Sat...Thats actually what my mom is hanging on to....So Sorry about your Loss...I Know what Hell you Went thru...And we Decided to let the Kids see Grandma...Was Trying to Protect Them...But After Hearing you and a couple other people and Hospice..It is the Best to be Honest all the way around...Mom is seeing both her Cancer Doctor and Lung Doctor to make sure Travel will be ok..Mostly Concerned about the Flight....Thx So much...Happy New Year..Terry

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by teddybear @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

teddybear — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 14:56:08 -0000

Terry, just saw your post about going on vacation or not, go, go, go. If your mom is feeling up to it, its her time to really live it up. My wife passed away on Jan 5th, and we did everything we could as long as she was feeling well enough. I would not have changed anything. As for the Grandkids, let them come if they want, they are old enough to understand what is happening, and if Grandma is going on a cruise then why shouldn't the kids see her. They would really question you if you didn't let them come by. From the time that my wife was diagnosed with brain tumors from her lung cancer until her passing was 1 1/2 years, which included surgery in July. I do pray for you and your family. I truely hope you have a wonderful time on your cruise. Remember all the great times.

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by Terry6294 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Terry6294 — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 17:46:10 -0000

Thx Dawn.....Yesterday was a really Hard Day.....Mom was so Angry about Hospice...She didn't Understand..She thought we all thought she was going to die any day now....When they explained that Hospice wasn't just for her but the Whole Family and Mom saw me Crying..Then it Clicked in and i think she Understood and was ok after that....She even accepted the Nurse giving her an exam....We took Mom out to eat at her Favorite place and to gamble a Little bit after they left...A Bad day to start with..ended Really nice....Talk about a Roller Coaster Ride...Thx so Much Dawn....I'm thinking if we can keep her active..it will help get her to the Cruise..19 days to go....Pray really Hard...I really Appreciate you and am so glad i found this website..I'm going to a bookstore today to find some books Thx Terry

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by ryannmcgrath @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

ryannmcgrath — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 13:46:58 -0000

Terry..Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you..Hope you made out okay..

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by Terry6294 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Terry6294 — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 16:24:07 -0000

Thx Dawn...Will update you Later...I really Appreciate your Advice...Thx so Much

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by ryannmcgrath @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

ryannmcgrath — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 15:56:23 -0000

Aww Terry I am sorry I missed you..

I am sure if Hospice needs to be alone with her, they will let you know..But you can talk to them alone if you want as well.. Maybe you would like to ask them somethings, without Mom present.. Dont hold back either..You ask them anything you want, believe me, they heard it all..There are never any wrong questions.. Please let me know how you make out..

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by Terry6294 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Terry6294 — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 15:43:38 -0000

Morning Dawn...Hoping you will see this before 10 Am..Just wondering if we should leave Mom alone with Hospice Instead of us Hovering Around her...I'm Thinking she may be more open and honest with them if we are not present...What do you think? Terry

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by ryannmcgrath @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

ryannmcgrath — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 13:53:47 -0000

Terry my husband at the time my mom was going through this, was taking his Police LT Exam..So his head was out of it.. He is great too, love him..But yeah kinda feels like your alone on this right?..I think, they think they are protecting us, by not talking too much about it..Have to love them..lol.. But, anytime you need to vent, you feel free to contact me anytime!

Here is my regular email address, I used this one, its my sons old address.. dp08863@aol.com

Hang in there.. Dawn

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by Terry6294 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Terry6294 — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 06:16:17 -0000

Thx Dawn...Tomorrow Morning at 10 Am we will have our 1st Visit with Hospice...We are going to have in Home care...It is Really good to talk to somebody...My Hubby is Wonderful but he works 2 jobs so i don't see him awake alot...I Envy him cause he seems to be able to Control his emotions a lot more than me...He loves my Mom as much as i do...but he won't talk about it..

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by ryannmcgrath @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

ryannmcgrath — Sun, 26 Dec 2010 14:21:25 -0000

Yes, my opinion is they should see her, talk with her and have a chance to spend time with her, its something they will never be able to do while being here on this earth..Even though they are young, and as parents we want so badly to protect our children, we cant protect them from what is real and I think it will really help with there closure when she passes..If they only see Grama happy and well, how will they understand when you explain how sick she was and why God took her..That was the problem I had..My kids looked at me like huh what happened, she was just fine yesterday..I didnt allow them to see the truth the day she passed, so they couldnt even vision it.. Terry, Hospice will also be a very big help with your children..Maybe giving you some tips on how to brace the kids for what is going to happen..

Yes, I lost my Mom Sept 23, 2009, the first Christmas without her was a blur, dont even recall it..Took time to get through all the phases/steps of mourning..I was in a pretty bad place this whole year..But I am making my way out into a more 'Norm' If you will..Some days I just break down and feel crippled and others I smile and laugh thinking of her.. I assure you, its a roller coaster you never experienced.. But allow others to hold your hand when you need it held and just keep talking..As you see I do...lol..Its wonderful therapy..

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by Terry6294 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Terry6294 — Sun, 26 Dec 2010 04:33:17 -0000

The kids are 10..13...15...17...So you think it best that they know what is happening..and they should see her...I Just know i don't want them to hurt as much as i Hurt ..Thx I would certainly appreciate the name of the books...Thx for your time...Hope you are having good Holidays...Not the same for us this year..I Noticed you lost your mom during the Holidays...I'm so Sorry..I know you can certainly Relate...I totally respect your Opinions...Thx Again

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by ryannmcgrath @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

ryannmcgrath — Sat, 25 Dec 2010 20:18:53 -0000

My Mom has 7 grandkids and only 1 saw her when she got very very ill the day she passed away, he is 21..Well, I can tell you he was very upset.. We didnt allow the others to see her, the youngest being 10 was very close with her, we thought we were protecting her..BUT it was a mistake..One I will always live with, because it didnt give the "Other" Kids the reality they needed, they went from just knowing Grama is sick, to being told she died..My youngest was sooo upset she didnt get a chance to say goodbye..

Someone once told me, birth is just as important as death..Its reality and though it hurts to see someones life ending, we need to teach them its a new birth that our loved one is going to have in another place.. I wish I was told that, before she passed away, I think I would have done things different..

Terry, you have no idea what you, yourself is about to go through..You seem like me, close to your Mom, wanting to do everything right, thinking you perhaps can have everything perfect if you prepare..I did that too..But I am so so sorry to tell you, its not going to be like anything you think..There will be moments, that you actually lose your breath, that you feel like its a nightmare.. There will maybe even come a time that you almost hope they go, because of pain they may enter into..But once they do go..You would say and do anything to get them back.. No one can prepare for this difficult time..

I do have some great books that I found helped me "After" I will get the name of them and let you know..I lent a couple out, so I will make sure to get the title..

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by Terry6294 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Terry6294 — Sat, 25 Dec 2010 02:04:48 -0000

Thx Your Response Made Me Cry...I Guess thinking about the Reality of it all...Mom is already having the Mood Swings..Yesterday You Knew how Sick she is...Today...She was her old self and you Kinda Forget How sick She Is...Any Suggestions on Books i should Read..Before and After...One other Questions...We had all the Great grandkids and Grandkids here on Nov 25th..Thanksgiving Day for her Surprise Birthday Party...Just Wondering if The Kids should see her as she gets sicker or should we Leave them with the memories and photos of that day...Thx for your Responses..I do feel better Knowing i am not alone..

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by ryannmcgrath @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

ryannmcgrath — Fri, 24 Dec 2010 15:51:50 -0000

I had a very short time with Hospice, They were sent to me the same day she passed away..Of course not knowing she was going to pass.. They are wonderful, I mean Angels!..They will take all your Moms information..Her insurance, Doctors, etc..They will note the symptoms she is having..They will have you sign paperwork and give you a better idea on what is happening, as the symptoms are happening.. They advise you on what to do and how to take care of yourself as well.. ANYTHING you need they provide..They bathe her if you wish, do your laundry if you even need that done.. They are mainly there to make the dying process comfortable..They do not believe in any needles at all..All pain meds are either given by mouth or suppositories if she cant swollow.. They will constantly medicate and take away any discomfort.. When you sign onto Hospice they are basically saying your Mom will not be sent to the ER for prolonging her life with machines, etc..That she is wishing for a peaceful ending.. My advice is to tell her throughout the day that you love her, hug her, kiss her, tell her how wonderful she always was, anything you wish to say.. There may come times that she is sweet, mean, yells, says things that you have no idea what shes talking about..She maybe depressed, sad, them boom she has energy or is being so nice or even laughing.. One day my mom was sooooo nasty, saying mean things, the next day she was laughing playing with the kids and chasing my dog joking around, the next day she passed away..

Terry, we are all here for you, before and after..Always remember you are not alone..We all went through this terrible time.. You are going to have a lot of ups and downs and when you need to vent, you can always come here..Talking is the best thing for you.. Your family will be in my prayers..

Dawn

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by Terry6294 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Terry6294 — Fri, 24 Dec 2010 03:38:34 -0000

Thx for Your Responses....What is the name of the book that was reccommended...it has the word Creek in it???...We have 3 more weeks till our Cruise..She will see her Cancer Doctor and Lung Cancer once more before we leave on Jan 15th ..Hoping For a Great time For Her...She is really Depressed...Monday Dec 27th Hospice is coming to See Her...What should i expect with that visit??? Thx So much for your Comforting Words and Prayers

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by ryannmcgrath @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

ryannmcgrath — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 15:53:39 -0000

Terry..First I am soooo terribly sorry for you and your family..No one should have to go through this..

Its very hard to say what can happen, because honestly none of us really knows for sure.. But what I can share is what happened with us, after my Mom was diagnosed, she passed away exactly 7 days later..Hers too spread to the brain.. She was fine all 6 days, then boom on the 7th woke with a little headache that became worse through the day.. She made a choice to not go through treatments other then the steriods to help shrink them or I should say help not letting them grow.. About 8-9 hours of a headache being treated with pain meds..She went into the dying process and quickly..She died 11 hours after the headache started.. It was a total shock, I couldnt believe how fast it was all happening, thought it was something that never happened like that..But I was wrong, the more I read, the more I saw, that it isnt uncommon..When it comes to traveling cancer, you never know what can happen or even when..The Dr's told us about 6 months to a year..Well, it was 7 days..

I am being honest, because I truly wish someone was with me..I hope your family goes and you are all able to have a wonderful time, filled with many memories.. But please just make sure you are somewhat prepared for what can happen in an emergency.. If God forbid your Mom doesnt make it, are you able to handle the expense and the emotional toll that having her taken away can bring.. I can share with you some of the symptoms my mom was having prior that never even occured to me was the bodies way of shutting down..Now I look back and many things make sense the month prior.. There are some signs, but when you are soooo emotional and in shock, you just dont see it..

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by dollvintage @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

dollvintage — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 14:55:36 -0000

I am sorry to hear of your Mother's prognosis. My Mom was diagnosed with lung cancer 2 years ago and is still with us. Just after her diagnosis, we were able to take her and Dad on their last vacation. It was the vacation from hell for us, with both of them getting the flu, but I would not have traded the trip for anything. Dad passed in June and I have some of the best mental and physical pictures of the 2 of them.

Life is for living...would you rather spend your last days in bed or a hospital or would you rather pass having the memories of a cruise. You may not be able to do everything you would like to, due to your Mother's strength, but I assure you even one day will give you memories for your lifetime.

Get some good travel insurance in case there are any major complications but think about it, there is a doctor right on board! And if you have to cancel the trip you will minimize your losses.

I wish the best for you and your family and pray you get to take your cruise!

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by Terry6294 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Terry6294 — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 02:56:47 -0000

My First Time on here ..Not sure if this is where i write this or not...My Mom was Diagnosed With Luing Cancer Nov 1st This Year...It has Already Spread to her Brain and She is Deteriorating rather Quickly...We have a Cruise Scheduled for Jan 16th...We have to fly to Florida from La Vegas..Doctor says Let her Make the Trip he Will give her Steroids to Slow down the Brain Swelling.....If she lives until then...Just Wondering if this Trip is a Good idea or Not...I am Petrified something will happen to her on the Flight or the Ship....Any Opinions...Please Thx Terry

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by smb @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

smb — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 10:22:55 -0000

i am sad to read this comment made Penny, My husband passed in MArch from lung cancer and I am looking for help from others and I don't find it to be a scam to seek help we never know when someone who is suffering like you and I may get words of comfort. That person is cruel and she/he should be reported. Kudos to you for asking a searching for answers I am sure if it is a scam you and I will have enough since to recognize it and withdraw. As a christian you are in my prayers because I understand your feelings and where you are coming from hang in there.

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by ryannmcgrath @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

ryannmcgrath — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 18:41:50 -0000

Penny, shame on you..You should not be advertising on these sites.. The site you are asking others to go to for comfort is a "psychic" Taking advantage of those who are in desperate situations and who are emotional is cruel..I reported you..

With all your experience you claim to have,you should have been aware that it was "Chemo" Not "Kemo" That your father went through, I sure hope that correction was picked up in the book your selling.

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by pennyclarkbabson @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

pennyclarkbabson — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 17:57:29 -0000

We went through similar with my dad. He passed of lung cancer in aug 2000. he was throwing up alot of blood and they left him in the hall at the hospital and hadnt even admitting him after 6 hours. After i through a fit and demanded since they werent busy they do something now they admitted him and found out he had lung cancer and was bleeding so bad he would have drawn in his own blood. Kemo and radiation were the only things that could stop the bleeding. he died 6 months later.

It seems the Dr never can get together on anything these days.The best you can do as far as how to help mom is go by her cues. I kept a notebook on my dad and took care of him from day one until he died. I have even written a book thats out world wide about what he and I went through called " By the Grace Of God" This is a very hard time for you and your mom ( and family) she needs you more then ever now. Im here if you need someone to talk to. Penny Clark Babson [Edited by Caring staff]

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by Rasnussen @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Rasnussen — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 03:16:51 -0000

My dearest Kimmie I kmow what you are going through myself. lost my beloved mother too. I do know the pain you are feeling. Feb 12 2009 my mom took her last breath. I know she is not suffering any more but it dose not make it any easier to cope with the pain. I hear you when you say you want to scream and I just do not want to stop. My mom was my very best friend to and we did everything together it took me this long to sit here and write about it. I never thoght cancer would have touched ny life this much. It gets easier some days and other days it seems like it just happened all over again, Hang in there you are in my prayers and thoughts and may you find peace soon, Keep talking about your wonderful mother and she will live on in those who knew her and those who will get to through you.

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by m24 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

m24 — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 04:22:33 -0000

I also wanted to say to Kimmie, I am so heartbroken to hear of your loss. But I believe that God's messengers will be sent to comfort you and give you strength. It's always hard for me to hear that yet another person has died from this disease. I'm always reminded of a friend of mine who went to the emergency for a sinus infection ended up being diagnosed with cancer. They convinced her to go through the regular treatments and within on week it had spread to her brain cutting off her sight and she passed away quickly afterward. In just one week while having the treatments.

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by m24 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

m24 — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 03:41:52 -0000

to Pjoly- Sorry for taking so long to get back to you. I haven't been here in a while. I don't think I can say much specifically, because a lot of my posts were deleted since it was assumed I was advertising. And that's part of why I haven't been here. I think more people need to be educated on alternative treatments. I understand that a lot of those treatments are false treatments. But I'm referring to the ones that work and have documented success from the patients themselves. The only thing I can suggest is to google Dr. Johanna Budwig. I believe she died in 2003 at 92 . She was a qualified german pharmacologist, chemist and physicist with a doctorate in physics who studied and treated numerous cancer patients at all stages, so she not some obscure quack who doesn't know what she's doing. She used a certain essential nutrient combination that you can buy in a regular health store (maybe a grocery store)to treat cancer patients and they are not expensive. She doesn't sell products so this isn't an advertisement. They are everyday food items that people eat, the difference is in blending them together before you eat it which seems to produce the amazing results according to cancer survivors. All you need to do is just research her and determine for yourself weather you think it will be helpful. None of the things she said is harmful, in fact, it's good nutrients for the body. I implore the moderator to not delete my post.

'Help I am so confused my Mom was diagnosed last week with terminal lung cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes and brain.' posted by Susan-2 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Susan-2 — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 00:43:58 -0000

Kimmie, My thoughts and prayers are with you...it is so hard, but i will not say i know how you feel because i don't. i know what is helping me through the loss of my mom back in april is every day i pray for go to give me the peace that surpasses all understand.. i don't know why or how i make it through each day but i do...God knows how you feel and when you do not know what else to do , just rest in his arms... I have a picture of my mom in my room where i get ready for work each day and talk to her every morning and every chance i get. i pray for peace for you.. i'm hear if you need a listening ear as so is all the other wonderful people on this web site... oh i agree with everyone Hospice workers are angels.... better than alot of the doctors...

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