My mother was diagnosed with CNS Lmphoma/brain cancer back in January of this year. She went through six rounds of chemo and as a result she responded really well to it. However, the brain lesions have left some scarring and it has taken a toll on her short term memory and she has become very weak. Her mind is not functioning in tune with her body and it is really taking an emotional toll on me. The doctor's say that they have exhausted every avenue to treat her and don't feel that continuing chemo would benefit her situation. They have said that she may have only a year left to live and I am beside myself as is the rest of the family. I love my mother very, very much and to see her slowly deteriorating is emotionally overwhelming to me. All that I can do is cry. I feel helpless and don't understand why this had to happen to her. I am angry and question my faith. Counseling seems to give me some relief, but I feel myself shutting off from my husband and wanting to isolate from the world. I have even questioned who I am anymore. Please tell me, is this normal behavior? I feel lost, angry, overwhelmed, and very depressed. I feel like I am on the verge of an emotional breakdown. Can someone please offer me some support? I know that I am not alone in my pain.
ChildofGod68
Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry to read this! It is so difficult to not only see our parent ill and in pain, but in trying to reconcile the facts of it all with how the future will play out and affect our own lives.
It is hard, but crying is ok. It's helping to release that stress.
Keep talking to us! We're here for you.
Dear Childofgod68. I am a bit inuitive I just sent you a prayer.before I read of your present plight I too had my faith test I lost my first wife she was 19 years old I as 25 I could not believe in a god who could let this happen. I went within myself like you are doing. It is a bad place to go.self pity is there. The god I now believe in. is there to help you if you you are going to to go inside look for god,to help,Your mother would not want you to ruin your life grieving for her. In my prayer to you I explalned my views,you do not have be religious to believe in god. Called or not called god is there. I know prayers help ,I dont just believe. Just sit back and let them. And let your family share your grief. Best of luck in your search.Love Ken
ChildofGod, I can definitely understand where you're coming from. My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in July 09, which had metastasized to her brain. We are a family of strong Christians. In the beginning, it was pretty natural to give it to God, deal with all of the medical stuff, and still hold on to our joy. But as treatments are wearing on, it's getting harder. My mom has had whole brain radiation and radiosurgery to her brain, and just had a lung removed. Next up is chemo. I'm with you -- the hardest part for me has been having my mom not acting and thinking the same, and wondering if things will get better. I know that God didn't do this to her -- her illness is just a hazard of living in these imperfect, human bodies. And I know God is with her, keeping her spirit strong. But still... when you see someone you love going through this, and are thinking about the prospect of losing them, it sucks. No way around it. And it's very hard to keep up with your normal life. Right now I'm having trouble functioning sometimes... my first inclination is to sleep all of the time and be a hermit. Thankfully, I have a wonderful husband and kids who help bring me back to reality, most of the time. (Not to say that I haven't been snippy and distant from my husband sometimes -- I have!). I don't have any great advice, unfortunately... you're probably at a further point in dealing with all of this than I am. But I feel for you and will be praying for you, my friend.
Dear child of god or Jill 67 I am prepared to thought as mad ,stupid or arrogant and also admit to belng all of those things I am frequenly stupid, mad no I no longer do angry Arrogant I try to avoid being that ,but who can tell I love all life forms the good the bad and the ugly. I have stomach cancer these past 7 years with only god to help me.
I am not a fan of the bible it confuses people.too much My god is better than your god and I will, with gods help destroy you.
To me god is a force for good ,overwhelming good ,inspiring good,
Sorry I get carried away.
Right what am doing here,living in these imperfect bodies?
Do you think that god would create imperefect bodies ?
This is just the impression you have formed.bible thinking,yes the machine of production produces malformed bodies.
Am I not a clever clogs ?.
You are right called or not called god is there.to help you,
I am lost; At eighty next year it often happens. but I am fit and healthy
I do immpressions of being 21
I run jump and click my heels in mid air,
Now for my message do not sit back and let the doctor do the job for you he is not a god but he can give a good impression.
It is our lifestyles that our bodies cannot deal with the stress the unheathy living not using god gift properly .
these are the sins .
I have finished .will my pearls of wisdom fall on stony ground ?
I guess they must but I love you all .
Just one example of doctor thinking.
A fortnight ago a large lump appeared in my stomach so naterally I go to the expert she states after examining my stomach 2Your cancer has grown
you must get to the hospital as soon as possible" "sorry can't do"I was due to play golf the next day golf is more important than life or death.
I went back to see her she had changed her mind and agreed it was not possible for the cancer to grow that fast She gives me a death sentance
If it was grow that fast I would be dead before I got to the hospital.
she now admits she does not know I am having a scan to see what it is .
I think can only be a cyst that could grow that fast,Why cuold she think of that?I have visited many surgeons,oncologists liver transpant surgeons he is convinced the growths in my liver are also cancerous Educated idiots /Oh I said I dont do angry ?I dont, I am just feel sorry for the poor misgiuded souls Oh I said I dont do arrogant .Well I am only human.
.
No, God did not create imperfect bodies. He's incapable of imperfection. But in this imperfect, post-fall world things can and do go wrong with our bodies. That is what I meant. I am not going to attempt to debate the validity of the Bible with you right here -- this is not the place for that. It's a place where people can come to find comfort and kinship with others who are going through similar experiences.
It sounds like you are having some struggles, octoman, and I'm sorry for that.
jill 67 Sorry you misunderstood me or I you .The validity of bible so many people have died over that augument, Today when if they all believed that god is love it could never happen 2000 years is too long for this to still be happening . my family have suffered worse than I have My wife is in a wheelchair because of their tender care my relatives are in their graves ,because of them ,so are lots of my best friends . if you want proof. I nearly lost my wife because of there bungling They operated on my wife and did not notice her high blood sugar, She went to my wifes sister who happens to have been a nurse My wife went into a diabetic coma .her sister just got her to hospital in time,Yes they saved her life.but also put it at risk! It was treated as just one of those things that happen? I could write book about the same sort of things that happened to me and my family. well it is not the doctors. but the people behind them the organisers? My Oncologist once told me he was just a messinger boy.Disgruntled?
I am have troubles ,my wife is in constant pain the doctors ingnore her
unbelivable
How do the medical profession have such wonderful image
when performing so badly ?
Every success hailed to heavens failures are ignored.
and failures outweigh the successes a thousand fold.
It is love and care this world needs.
Not arguments about the Adam and Eve theory against the Evolution theory ,Nonsense
Get out and care for one another the doctors included.
My wifes a JEHOVAH WITNESS it has not helped her spiritually at all
and she studies the bible every day.
you have my deepest sympathy
I'm so sorry you and your family have been through so much, octoman. I experienced frustration with the medical profession in dealing with my mother, too. Most of the doctors and nurses we've encountered have been wonderful -- full of compassion and kindness. But during my mom's last stay, after her lung was removed, I was astonished by the lack of communication between the doctors and nurses. If I hadn't been there at my mom's bedside, fighting for her when she couldn't fight for herself (due to all of the morphine, she didn't know whether it was day or night and couldn't ask for the things she needed to get better) I don't know what would have happened. Often, the right hand doesn't know what the left is doing. My dad went into all of this thinking that as long as a person is in a hospital they're safe and will have all of their needs met... know he knows that every patient needs a loving advocate.
Keep fighting the good fight... you seem to have a lot of spirit and inner strength. I'm sure that will serve you well as you navigate through all of this tough stuff.
Blessings,
Jill
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