depressed/hurt

Oh gosh.  First of all, I'm so sorry about your cancer diagnosis.  It sounds like you've been through a lot, though.  And look at you!  You're still around to tell the story.  I hope you find strength within yourself to fight.  The hope of a good life is worth it!  I know it's tough to provide care for someone while needing it yourself...especially since it sounds like you don't have the greatest support at hoe.    But don't give up!  Just get through one minute at a time.  *hugs*

Oh, sweetie, you have so much on you and it has gone on and on, one thing after another for so many years. I know it must be so difficult to find anything good from a single thing you have happening right now. Maybe it would help to know that there are people out here who have never met you who hurt and feel for you, that want you to hang on! Understand that you must take care of yourself! I am sure you have heard it but it is true - you must take care of yourself or you won't be able to help others. When you are diagnosed with cancer, you are being placed in a situation where you are forced to take care of yourself. That's how I looked at it 8 years ago -- I actually had to accept help from other people, I had to make my doctor's appointments, deal with the diagnosis, watch people walk out of my life, watch people act as if I had a cold rather than cancer. My daughter turned 8 two days after my diagnosis and lumpectomy. I am in no way comparing myself to your situation - I just want you to know that when things get so dark, so black, it means you have to look harder for the light. Or maybe, just hang in there, take care of things and know.....you can make it, there is light on the other side of the darkness. If you can't find the strength to step back, take some time alone to remind yourself that you can and do have the strength (even though you probably think this has just been the last straw). Someone once told me that those of us who keep having to deal with major issues such as yours are older souls and it is like taking a crash course on life -- as if you were in school and took an entire year's worth of calculus in one brief summer. I don't know your spiritual beliefs but I do know that most all of them share one thing in common -- we are put through trials and tests - but none that we can't pass. It will all turn out as it should, whether we know what that is or not. Just know that I do care -- sending you hugs and surrounding you with beautiful white light to protect and heal :-)