brain tumor -- how fast?

I am so very sorry to hear about your dad, Anonymous. Being given a time frame is, I feel, both a blessing and a curse. A blessing, in that you know that if there are things to do and say, now's the time to say and do them, while at the same time, a curse because you know too well how soon your life will change.

When my father was diagnosed, it was only days before he died. We spent the time we could with him, and he made sure things were done the way he wanted them - giving direction, signing documents, and just loving us best he could, as we loved him.

Even with all that, I have to say I look back on that time as a very intense, loving time, for we were all together for a while.

My best wishes go out to you.

I'm very sorry to hear about your dad.  My mother died of pancreatic cancer in 2007 (she lived three months after diagnosis), and my main advice is to call a hospice facility immediately.  They'll help you through the whole process and let you know the kinds of things you can expect--although, of course, every situation is different.  Hospice is the most valuable resource out there, IMO.

And be sure to enjoy the time you have left with him.  You'll eventually appreciate the fact that you had some warning of what was going to happen.  The next few months are going to be very challenging for your family, but they'll have their rewards as well.

I'm very sorry to hear your news, and wish you and your family strength during the coming months.

I have no information specific to your question, but wanted to add my voice to those talking about the time ahead of you.

I lost my best friend to Breats Cancer, and although the course of her illness was one of the most difficult times of my life, it gave us some beautiful times together too. I remember days spent just being close with her, talking and just making the most of each other.

It's a time to talk and appreciate each other.

Thinking of you x

What Lola said was very true when I was caring for my father, who died of esophageal cancer, also after receiving a prognosis of three to six months.

What I'd suggest is preparing a list of questions for your dad's doctor. Tell him you want the "nitty gritty" version, you don't want him to soft-peddle the information. (Many oncologists will speak much more plainly if you reassure them that you can take it.)

Then ask about everything you want to know: what to expect right away, what to expect down the line, and what can be done for your dad to make him more comfortable as the cancer progresses. Good luck, and keep on checking in; I'm sure we'll hear from more folks with stories to share.

So sorry to hear about your father - this time must be very difficult for you and your family.  My mother passed away from brain cancer and from diagnoses until she passed was about 9 weeks.  I have also had 2 friends pass away from brain cancer, all were approximately 9 weeks.  For a better answer to your question, I would keep an eye on his motor skills, his speech, the names he calls his children, what he calls familiar things, etc.

My suggestion to you is that while he is still cohesive enough, he get things in order.  Consider getting a living will, durable power of attorney, executor of the estate, advanced health care directive, etc.  You don't want to be in a position of going into probate.  Also, if he is on Medi-Cal, you can call In-Home Support Services at 408-975-4899 for some assistance in caring for him if you plan to keep him at home.

Best of luck to you during this very difficult time.

My wish is for you to have it easy. I know there is nothing easy going through what you are dealing with?? Please do all that was susgested by the person above. Get power of attorney so you can make the desisions that are necessary. Make sure the will is in order so you can settle everything after it is all over. Don't want to go to court and have all the waiting and fighting over his belongings. If you are taking care of him,you know what he wants done with all his belongings. So I wish you all the luck and my prayers are with him and you. I know it is so hard to sit by and  can't do anything for him but show him lots of love and attention. I hope and pray that God answers our prayers and heals him. Anything is possible with GOD. May you find peace and comfort and him too. Let him know how much he is loved and cared for?? Makes them feel better. Yes,I have gone through  it with both parents. My Mother died of breast cancer,in 69, my Dad died of Dementia15 years later. I took care of both of them and would not trade anything for those last years I had with them and their stories they shared with me. Things I had never heard from them before,so It was so interesting to know all these things about their lives and when we were babies,what we did? How we lived? All the sweetest stories to find out from them. I wrote it all down so I can make a book of it of my parents lives and ours too,in a way?? I treasure those stories so much so get them to talk and share their lives  when they were young,So enjoyable to hear these stories. My prayers are with you dear one,May God blessings be with you and him. Mildred

My 81 1/2 year old dad recently (3/2009) passed away from brain cancer which was diagnosed in 10/2007.  As far as we know, because he was a quiet but hard working man, 20 years younger than his numbers according to the doctors, he started showing symptoms in June/July - his "gait" was in the form of a shuffle.  The doctors sent him to orthopedic surgeons.  In August he couldn't figure out a simple milage vs. gals. of gas question and back to the doctor he went.  Had a cat scan, dr. said he had a  brain tumor, biopsied, said it was stage three and he had maximum 2 years to live.  He had several small seizures which required hospitalization and large quanities of the drugs that shrink the swelling in your brain.  In January of 2009 he had a seizure and went to the hospital for five days and then into Hospice Residence where he lived for 2 1/2 months fighting an amazing fight.  He went there because he couldn't walk and my 80 year old mother couldn't take care of him any longer.  He had no pain except for the nerves under his very very thin skin were super sensitive in the last 3-4 months.  You couldn't really touch him except very gently - he refused pain medicine and only got it when he somehow missed what they told him it was.  He was an amazing man - I wish you could all have known my dad!! 

 Dear Annie,

your dad's fight sounds so much like my dad's -- spirited until the end. My heart goes out to you in your loss, but I also commend you for the care you gave him; it sounds like he had good treatment and they did all they could do. My dad also went faster than the maximum time the doctors gave him -- my sense is it can be hard for them to predict how aggressive a cancer tumor will be. I appreciate your description of your dad's symptoms, because may others will read this and will send their parents to the doctor if they have similar symptoms. Brain tumors are much more common than most people realize, and can cause symptoms that are easily confused with dementia and other illnesses. Thanks for sharing and our thoughts are with you.

Dear Annie,

My late dad had one remvoed and treated with radiation along time ago when he was 58. He was diagnosed again about about 5 years ago when he was 82. He had a pretty good quality of life although he was under pain mangagement with methadone and quick release morphine for a failed back operation or the back operation just wore out. He was able to drive and do light work aroung his house. However, the second tumor he had at 82 was glioblastoma IV. He soon entered a hospice where he got excellent care. It sounds harsh, but do the durable power of attorney and get the estate settlement rolling. At least he did not unduly suffer. He developed some more pain from the tumor crowding everything in his head. However, his pain was relieved. By the time he lost the ability to stand up and any coordination death was near and he died peacefully. It is rough, no doubt. My blessings and codolences. Ratly

I graduaed with biology-government minors at U of Tex.I do not trust many Mds who are allopathic as most are.I know there sights are set on one thing only and they have no choice if they wish to continue to practice-money and drugs/alternative ones are much better and they can and will cure as matter of course instead of thinking about money.Royal Rife in 1932 had a generator which cured 16 of 16 so called incurable patients and his MD friend were poisoned and their labs burned down as their cure was too cheap and not pharmacuetical meaning a loss of millions of dollars every day to the professionals and pharmaceuticals.They could not accept this.I was showing off a rife machine in pilippines and I too was poisoned with garlic as was my girl friend.I had anti-dote.Beware of burning throat symptoms even if eating ice cream as it is likely arsenic poisoning.

Brain tumor. Dont be afraid hope, prayer every day. But at 81 god bless him. I hope he feels ok.

I have been through several cancers. The first one scared me. After that I got stronger with the rest and accepted them. But was mad.

My father in lay just passed at 93. Pretty good till end. Went to church after went to Wendys ,loved that. But when it was time he told us I dont think I can make it much longer. He didnt. But what a life and lots of stories.

Bullman,

Going to chuch and then to Wendy's and was at peace. That is good to hear. However, you never get over losing your father. Happy Easter,

Ratly

Ratly, You're right...you never get over losing your dad. Mine died of a brain tumor in 1984. In hindsight, we realized all the symptoms that we couldn't figure out in the yr or two before he was diagnosed. I still miss him.

I am reading your posts and feeling for all of you and for myself and my Mom. For about 3 weeks now she has been failing fast in stage 3blung cancer but the symtpoms of weakenss, memory loss and some hallucinations along with irrational and suspicious behaviours suggests brain metastasis and she was told this by an oncologist last week bu so far she refuses a brain scan.

Meanwhile I see daily changess and today ahd was very accusatory of me in just about everything and this evening , while I was on a conference call, she got lost in the neighborhood.

For those of you who have experience of such rapid deterioration, I would like to have an idea of how advanced she is in the brain symptoms and what to expect in this rapid deterioration. I have the feeling that this is all a preluded to very terminal processes that will set in soon as she has chosen not to have treatments and probably that has been best.

What do others think? She is 85 and recovered from vocal cord cancer in 1987. She has been very lucky to be cancer free until 2008 when cancer re-appeared in her lungs.

Workpriest, As a former person who recovered from a brain tumbor. I really encourage you to look for natural alternatives. My sister had an aggressive cancer and surived. I really do encourage anyone to do so because when you do something to help even if things get bad you'll have the relief you did something, all you could to help. Please feel free to visit my profile or send me an email just to talk or answer any questions you might have. jgonzalez1292@yahoo.com

Best Wishes, Judith

Thanks Judith. My Mom is in very advanced cancer now though with this added brain mets problem, I am only looking for palliative care suggestions. She has never been a person who would accept alternative medicine approaches though I myself personally am very open to them and am much younger than she is.

I am not really looking for special hope right now but rather the best ways to take care of someone deteriorating so quickly from day to day and manifesting. faster than I could have imagined these deficits that can come with brain mets. Thanks though and I will take your advice for myself, workerpriest

Thankyou

Thankyou thb

Workerpriest, I understand completly not everyone is into natural anything. But you must know you can give that option to your mother and tell her the benefits to do so. People from nature when they seem themselves getting worse they actually, many not all tho, change opinions and start looking for alternatives. But I do hope you keep that in mind because from my experience its the best derection you can go. But any questions or anything please feel free to ask me.

Best wishes, Judith

Hi there I just wanted to share that my dad died 1 year ago today from a grade 4 gliobastoma multiforme, it was inoperable and they gave him 4 months to live if he took no action or up to 1 year if he did. He did every thing possible and fought the whole way. He lived exactly 8 months from the day he was diagnosed. For the most of this he was completely dependant on everyone for everything. I am not sure now if I am happy that he fought on or not. I hated seeing what he went through. I am glad that he tried, dont get me wrong, my son (his first grandson) was born 3 weeks after he passed away and I know that dad wanted to meet him more than anything. That probably kept him going. Rest in peace dad. "Sleep tight matey!"

I am so sorry for your lose. My dad had the same thing he fought hard and lived 1 1/2 years after diagnosis. He did not want to die and did everything to fight it - it was very hard on the family, but we supported his wishes. Who knows what the correct decision is . . . . .

Very sorry to hear of your Dad. My Dad had the same but was not found till stage IV. Really up till hospice he was doing very well. Just got tired and wake time lessened. Hospice was 2 days. He was a joy every day. Be there as much as possible as I learned one nap will come and he will just stay asleep.Sorry your question regarding time from diagnosis till my Dad passed was 7 weeks.

Just to let you know, my dad's tumor was biopsied and he was stage four and then lived an additional 1 1/2 years.

Mom was diagnosed on August 24, just two days after noticing her first symptom, which was difficulty in typing an email message to me. She passed away on December 3. There was no surgery, but there was radiation therapy and chemotherapy -- six weeks of each, running both at the same time. Her abilities declined quickly, and she had been a very active and healthy person, so she was frustrated with her loss of ability -- use of a walker to wheelchair to inability to help transfer to/from wheelchair. Mom was a nurse. She did not want to turn her family into nurses for her, so she went to a Hospice House, where she lasted four more weeks.

I am glad that she did not last longer in her state of frustration. Of course I wish that I had her longer, but not with her feeling depressed over her inability to do anything for herself.