'A mean and hurtful alzheimers parent' posted by faith78 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

faith78 — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 03:47:26 -0000

Iagreewith you on this.We should not sacrifce our sleve for soebody who is knowingly &Cruelly hurting us.

'"I hate my mother." ' posted by JoJo1980 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

JoJo1980 — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 01:42:58 -0000

I know it was just a figure of speech "-) My Mom passed last March :-( I took care of her on some level my whole life..long story, she had a very hard life..anyway the last 10 years were the worst and I was the main caretaker for all that time...I miss her terribly...I wish you and your dear Mom well. Take care, JoJo xo

'"I hate my mother." ' posted by Wondermom330 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Wondermom330 — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 01:21:43 -0000

Thank you. I hope you know wanting to "choke her" is a figure of speech, I would never do that of course. Four and a half years is a long time to be doing this, but we have our quality moments, when we sing the "Our Father" at bedtime, or share a silly moment and break into laugh. I miss a lot of the things Mom used to do, but she is still in there behind the confusion, and sometimes I get a taste of it. That is my reward. God Bless you in your journey with your Mom. Your are not alone.

'"I hate my mother." ' posted by JoJo1980 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

JoJo1980 — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 00:15:36 -0000

I am sad for you and can relate..I hated what the dementia did to my beautiful Mom's mind and soul but I never wained in caring for her. I also never felt that I wanted to strangle her even at the worst of times... but I did ask God to help me often.. we were in the same boat, not poor enuf for governemnt help but not well off enuf to give her all the things and help "we needed" :-( shame that most family members leave it to mainly ONE person to do everything (and that would be me)..they are the ones I would have liked to strangle at times..selfish of them to not care enough for thier sister, grandmother, aunt, etc. I miss my Mom more with each passing day. I was lost the 1st few months, who was I if not taking care of my Mom?? anyway God Bless you on your journey, hopefully we will be rewarded someday??

'Stages' posted by nigle77 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

nigle77 — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 22:52:48 -0000

I Thank you for your time. and what can I do?

the California Law and Probet Laws

16060, 16061, 160603, 16061.5, and 16061.7

Also the State of Californ (Boad of Reistered Nursing) Suspended (Gwwendoldn Ann Wiegenstein "RN License #423941" for Illegally Obliaing Illegally Druds) you can read about it (google Gwendoln A.Wiegendol)

my Mother was not Dead and Michard & Gwendoln took her Home away from her to Top this, and sold the Hose to Mr.& Mrs.Rebeca S.& Kennth L.Reimer

Thank you, June A.Fischer Son

'Stages' posted by nigle77 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

nigle77 — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 22:27:33 -0000

I'm the Son of June Ann Fischer of Gathedral< Ca. 922343674 (1929 to 2004) also I HAVE (3 sISTERS) There Name are Susie Elizabeth Littler (61) (aka Sue, Susan,) (aka Fischer,Baher,Zilske,) of Truckee, California 96161. Roxanne Marie Vetter (58) (aka Fischer,Vetter,Laub,) (aka Fischer,) OF Incline Village, NV. 89451-7457 Gwendoln Ann Wiegenstein (54) (aka Gwen,Gwend,Gwendoln,) (aka Fischer,) of Palm Springs, 92262-0126 and Cathedarl Cithedral City, Ca. 92234-3674 also Ralph D.Littler, & Micharl J.Wiegenstein, also Tamara Henry Vetter,
who help my 3 Sisters !

Friday August 27,2004, (Gwen Obliaing Illegslly Drugs) from her work (Hospital), Susie & Roxanne gave their Mother "Illegally Drugs" as they was on Drugs also. that night Raalph & Michedael (Rape & Molester) their Mother (June) (75)

Satury, August 28,2004 Their Mother (June) was (Dead at 8:30 pm) Why ? (The Fischer Trust) "Money"

(6 years wnt by) then they told me i"September 22,2009) as I had a Heart Attach. when I went to California from Arkansas on Apeil 12 to 18,2010 and when Gwen told me what they Done to their Mother On Apeil 20,2010 i had a other Heart Attach, So if I Miss Spell forgive as I have only a half of a Heart, Thank Top it off I fond out that they took my Mother (June A.Fischer) (Social Security Check # 562-44-7026)

is that Right for someone to do a "Evil thing what they done" like (Rape & Molester) a 75 years old Woman who had "Alzheimer" ?

"God Bless" the Womes & Mens who have "Alzheimer" Thank you for your time, June A.Fischer Son from Arkansas marqus fischermarqus@ymaik.com febury 9,2012 ps al so my Sister DID NOT go by the Staate of Califoenia Laws" and "Probate Code Laws" = #16060, 16061, 16063, 16061.5, and 16061.7 What can I do ?

'"I hate my mother." ' posted by Wondermom330 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Wondermom330 — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 13:59:23 -0000

I have been dealing with taking care of Mom for four and a half years. She is in an advanced stage of dementia from mini strokes. I can say with much regret I have felt "hate" not for Mom but for what dementia has done to her.

At this stage she eats, sleeps a lot, and had depth perception issues so getting her from point A to point B is frustrating. She stiffens up when she does not want to get up which is almost always, and does not remember a thing that I said, not to mention who I am.

I do not get much help because she makes too much for any significant help but not enough for us to live comfortably. The life I have chosen is very hard to handle indeed. What do I do to get through the day...I work from home using my talents and have a small shop. I advertised in the paper and have a helper that comes in on Saturday. I allow myself to exisist without losing who I am.

I used to feel I had to watch her constantly. I am grateful that she is way past the wandering stage. As long as she is happy in front of the TV, clean and fed I just let her be. She sleeps long, and that is my time to complete my tasks. When she looks at me and smiles that gentle smile that says "I know you" I am reminded of why I chose to care for her. It has been a long journey and feels like it has no end, but God will tell you what to do, just listen. When I want to choke her I look up and sometimes ask, sometimes shout, GOD HELP ME. He always does.

No one who is taking care of a parent really HATES THEM they just hate what has become of them. It's ok to be human, we are not perfect. God understands. I know he does.

'Joke of the day for dementia caregivers (Come on...you gotta laugh!)' posted by Holding22 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Holding22 — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 04:10:09 -0000

Of all the jokes this one made me laugh out loud. It doesn't get any better than that. Thx so much

'My grandfather is holding my grandmother hostage-vent' posted by Moosie711 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Moosie711 — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 01:31:54 -0000

I am afraid the way he has split our family that repeatedly calling APS isn't going to do much. But thank you.

'My grandfather is holding my grandmother hostage-vent' posted by saintwu @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

saintwu — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 01:10:02 -0000

I understand Moosie711 by grandfather is a pathological liar. I wish I could say that his poor health has changed him but he's consistently been malicious and hateful. If you can get all your family and those who are concerned for your gram to call APS, it will help eventually.

'"I hate my mother." ' posted by jkjohnston @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

jkjohnston — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 17:38:55 -0000

That's a tough situation that you are in. My mom keeps reliving my dad's death as well. Of course, it just happened less than 2 months ago, and I think she's doing it to try to relieve herself of guilt. But it's so hard for me to have to hear it over and over, and I'm not sure if it's helping her or just adding to her grief.

You definitely shouldn't feel guilty about any feelings of resentment. It's a difficult situation to be forced into and others shouldn't judge one's personal situation.

'My grandfather is holding my grandmother hostage-vent' posted by Moosie711 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Moosie711 — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 21:57:17 -0000

Saintwu- I am so sorry about your grandparents situation. I pray your mother is able to gain custody.

'My grandfather is holding my grandmother hostage-vent' posted by Moosie711 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Moosie711 — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 21:55:19 -0000

The thing about my grandfather is that he is a master manipulator. He has managed to turn my uncle and my sister against my mother. Making up stories and dividing the family. I am sure he did that for the original APS woman too. I could call APS again, but I have no idea what is even going on in that home anymore.

I know no one has an answer for me. I just feel so helpless and sad. Today is my grandmothers birthday.

'"I hate my mother." ' posted by I'm it.... @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

I'm it.... — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 18:44:30 -0000

I've been beating myself up for feeling the way that I do, and now after reading all this, I know that it is not just me that feels this way. I'm an only child with no relatives nearby. My Mom has delusional dementia. She refuses to let me bring in help and I'm just about done. She has quit bathing, is totally incontinent, and can barely walk. It's all I can do to go into her room to bring her meals and medication. She has a scooter chair, but she "forgets" to use it and it's sitting in her room. So she gets up and tries to walk and then she ends up falling. Her neurologist has her on Risperadol, but I'm not sure that is helping. This week she kept reliving the death of my father. We also have her seven siblings who "live" with us (they are all deceased). I feel really bad for her, but then I resent her because I can't spend time with my grandchildren and our retirement plans have basically been cancelled. She has the money for nursing home, but won't even discuss it.

'the decision of assistant living?' posted by Sho B @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Sho B — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 19:02:51 -0000

Hello 'Bethr', Thanks for including your personal experience and advice for 'chica male'. I encourage you to write a business review about the assisted living facility you have put your Dad in for our Senior Living Directory. We know the right fit is different for each family and individual, and we believe ratings and reviews from those with firsthand experience, like you, are valuable to others with similar needs and preferences -- and helpful to service providers as well.

You can learn more about our Ratings and Reviews program and write a review here: http://www.caring.com/review_submissions/new?utm_source=community

Kind regards, -Sho from the Caring.com Community Team

'I'm sad' posted by DelfinaManotas @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

DelfinaManotas — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 12:13:57 -0000

Sorry you are having a rough time.....I would also like to tell you that no one "gets" it....heck, I do not even understand the pain myself....we do understand though what living with the wrath of the dragon does to you. Since most of us have been there done that....and I do agree. Most of the time we FMers have given 100% plus to everything we did at one point and time. This is the A+ personality we have. And to be really truthful with you. I think this is one of the reasons that we are here now in the shape we are in. We tried to do too much and please too many people...

Delfina Manotas

Funeral Insurance Quote[memorialheritage.com]

'Hospice Care and the End - Too soon?' posted by donahueg @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

donahueg — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 03:26:19 -0000

Things you should know about hospice:

It is a Medicare "carveout" which means it will never cost you a penny.

Hospice can be very good, or very bad...if you have problems, do not be afraid to challenge them, or fire them if need be...but if you do drop them, do not let it keep you from trying another one.

I know you know this - but hospice has nothing to do with how long she will live, they are there to keep her comfortable. i.e. you can't prolong her life by taking her off of hospice.

Even though the doctor thinks she has only 6 months, I have seen people live for years after being put on hospice. Because the care is so good people sometime get better for a while.

I missed the chance with my mom - but take advantage of the time she has left, spend as much time as you can with her...and be real.

I am sorry for your grief, DV

'I'm sad' posted by donahueg @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

donahueg — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 03:05:59 -0000

Its tough, I think you are doing the right thing posting/chatting about this. Too many people suffer silently...of course its a deeply personal experience to slowly lost a parent, but if more people talked about it, we might find a measure of relief from one another.

This is a great site, but more people can benefit from your experience if you also go to sites like google plus (caregiverclan) or facebook (dementiacaresecrets). good luck, Donahue

'I'm sad' posted by Bethr @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Bethr — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 01:49:28 -0000

I had a great weekend with my Dad, and I knew if he was good, then he would go downhill again. Well it happened. Last night I went to see him in the assisted living, and he said the Black man is using his bathroom again...I have tried everything to get him off of this, and I don't know where he is getting this. I spent some time and we worked on a word find together. Today he called me( auto dial) and he was wondering when he would see me again. I know his moments are so small and he can't remember, but it hurts to watch him leave me slowly. Just really sad

'the decision of assistant living?' posted by Bethr @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Bethr — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 01:44:54 -0000

Hi Chica, I had to put my Dad in assisted living over two years ago, with help of a Dr. It is very hard, and I do feel guilty. It is a personal thing, and some don't feel guilty, they see it as something that has to be done. But, I felt it should be my responsibility to take care of him. But, although I still have guilt, it was the best thing for him. He has gone hill in the past two years, and I wouldn't have been able to handle it and work. He gets good meals, supervision, and lots of caring when I am not there. He is comfortable there and considers it home. The guilt will get easier, but it still will be there. But, look at it if he didn't go, he could get really hurt or worse. They are trained, and if you get a good home, they will be loving

'Hospice Care and the End - Too soon?' posted by kdav @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

kdav — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 22:37:46 -0000

just because shes in hospice doesnt mean no meds my moms been in it at home for 5 weeks. your lucky she can still do for herself my mom is bedridden from stroke and infections. hospice perscribes meds for her when needed. i find shakes, icecream, and ensure is a good way to get some calories into her. dont worry they will help her and if she gets better they will take her off hospice after 90 days

'Hospice Care and the End - Too soon?' posted by saintwu @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

saintwu — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 17:22:40 -0000

Yesterday my mom came home inconsolable. The doctor told her that my grandma will be put under hospice care very soon. My grandma still recognizes all of us and she can still walk and stand on her own. She doesn't eat much anymore and she has trouble swallowing. When you ask her something she just responds with I don't know. I got her to laugh when I saw her a few days ago. She has been losing weight but she isn't underweight at this point. My grandmother's nuerologist said that she shouldn't last more than six months. When they take her off all her meds how long till she dies? I can't think of anything worse than watching her die slowly throughout the year. And is she still well enough not to be put under hospice care? I feel that she still has some time before the end.

'My grandfather is holding my grandmother hostage-vent' posted by saintwu @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

saintwu — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 16:48:24 -0000

I understand your frustration. My grandfather has always been emotionally and verbally abusive to my grandma but once she developed Alzheimers his abuse escalated to physichal. My mom is fighting for custody of her and the whole family is divided. It's horrible that these abusers won't let go. I understand your pain and I can only say that you and your family should call APS. The more complaints they get the better.

'Just need to vent about Seroquel!!!' posted by squirrels nest @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

squirrels nest — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 19:42:25 -0000

I don,t know if you read all the posts on serequel, I made a few comments a few months back. I,m bipolar and took seroquel for a year, it,s given the strongest warning that it,s not to be given to elderly dementia patients because it increases chance of death. I was 60 at the time and felt drugged up, just after taking my dose, about twenty minutes and my heart felt like it was pounding and I had difficulty walking, in another ten or so minutes you feel like you can eat everything in sight and a few minutes later you pass out usually with a mouth full of food and food all over your body. It drains all your ambition and you just want to sit. The majority of people taking it are on disability for this reason. I had to work and care for my husband so I quit taking it. I manage his care my care and my cleaning business. I,m back to rapid cycling but knowing what is causing my mood swings helps me avoid the things that trigger them and I manage. Something I wasn,t able to on the drug, I,d rather manage my illness drug free.

'Just need to vent about Seroquel!!!' posted by fuzzy21 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

fuzzy21 — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 19:21:26 -0000

Actually I just came back from an appointment with a Psychiatrist for my mom. He was pretty horrified at all the medications she was on, especially all the seroquil. He dropped her back down to 25 mg. at night, took her off depakote, which the neuro had put her on back in September, and changed her xanax to ativan (actually my suggestion, which he was also going to suggest). He said to give it a few days and would be very surprised if this doesn't work. Thanks for your help.

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