pinching and scratching

Hi:

Your post reminds me of members of my family who were diagnosed with a dementia. It was never said that what all but one first cousin had was Alzheimer's Disease, but I have always thought that they all had this disease.

My Grandmother, all of her sisters, my Mother and her two sisters and a first cousin who was male. The male's sister has been recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's.  Seems like all of these relatives had to constantly be doing something with their hands!

One of my aunts would hide knives in her sock or under the inside of her dress at the waistband. My uncle and she came to visit my Mother and something that my Mother said didn't set well and out came the knife from her sock and quickly she tried to stab my Mother. Not long after this happened my uncle found a Nursing Center for her. Many years later my Mother displayed agressive acts however none like her sister. She would "see things" and try to hit at these things and end up breaking many things! I would be asleep and she would get chocolate icing and smear all over my hair and face and once used feces to put in my hair!  When Mama got to where she needed a hospital bed and wheelchair, as she could do hardly anything for herself, and she had a stroke and had to be in the hospital, her Dr. found a Nursing Center for her. She lived there for a few years. When a Nurse called to say that Mama was dying, I ask her to call an ambulance. I went to the hospital and stayed with her around the clock. She rallied around and was better enough after two weeks to leave the hospital. After begging her Dr. to allow me to bring her home he finally let me and she lived for twenty six days. I had hospice to help and Home Health on a limited basis. There was no help at all other than those agencies. I don't begrudge helping my Mother one bit but I had no life of my own for ten years. I suddenly "woke up" so to speak and realized how much older and unkept that I was. I had hurt my back very bad and was very depressed.

Having said all of this, I don't believe that I would have done the same if I had it to do all over again.

God Bless,

Muffy

SusieK; welcome to the strange world of alzheimer's.  From experience, I think what is happening is that the connection between the brain and the body is getting scrambled.  I would talk to the doctor for any meds that would help, as each patient has different side affects.

I asked my mother one time when she was "there" if she understood what we were saying to her at times.  She said that ofcourse she did, but that her body wouldn't always do what her mind told it to.  It is hard, and sometimes their actions are very strange, but they're the same person they were before diagnosis.  Hang in there, as this is only the beginning; having good communication with your doctor at this point is the key.

My father has mid-stage Alzheimer's. His muscles have become very rigid and as such, needs to use a walker. He balked at this for quite a while, but now is trying to use it. Because of his memory, he forgets how to use it. He also has hallucinations...mostly thinking that I'm a fellow worker from years ago and will talk about "the job" and wants to get going to work! I have to convince him who I am, but sometimes it doesn't work and he gets agitated. He also sees animals or bugs and tries to get them. He has become increasingly unable to do simple tasks such as dressing himself, cleaning himself after using the bathroom and eating. When he is lucid, he knows who me and my mother are, but forgets who the grandchildren (my children) and other relatives and friends are. He doesn't harp about wanting to drive anymore. He hasn't for years and I now think he knows he can't. But he'll still say, "You go ahead and drive. You're a good driver. I just don't feel like driving today." I think this has to do with his pride. (he's a very prideful individual) So far, he hasn't shown any signs of physical aggression, but I know that is coming. On the other hand, my mother is very mentally sharp, but has had a major heart attack that has left her weak. Thank goodness for this site to talk things out and get ideas!!

THIS IS WHY I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES...

Oddly (HAPPILY) enough, we've had the reverse problem with my Mom, who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's for about 3 years. She likely had symptoms for many years that we felt were her 'eccentricities,' which included occasional hysterical outbursts, extreme disorganization, constantly misplacing items, along with occasional spitefulness (when she was angry).

Once we got Mom on the perfect combination of psycho-trophic (mental health) medications (for her), however, she became SUCH a pleasant person to be around.

In the past, she'd been a very difficult person because of several mental/emotional issues, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, a traumatic childhood and extreme anxiety to name some of the problems we are aware of, but since she's been on the perfect "cocktail" of medicines, she has been the delightful person she might always have been, had she sought treatment sooner.

Believe me - she did not seek treatment, and when we desperately made a family appointment with a psychiatrist, she flatly refused to see him and became absolutely hysterical. We were desperate to seek help, but she resisted all efforts, and the law is written to protect individuals from the wrath of unscrupulous individuals who might have selfish motives for 'institutionalizing' someone! Fortunately, we all love Mom and have no such motivation. All her meddling and control was strictly for the benefit and her love of her family, however inappropriate and stifling, at times!

If you believe in divine intervention, then God, or the universe, gave us a blessing in the way of a urinary tract infection that exhibited extreme confusion in Mother. Very concerned, we tried various interventions we had planned - for just such an emergency - that we suspected was 'down the road.' Also, as Mom deteriorated mentally, we feared what could happen because of her antagonism toward Dad. Mom had verbally abused Dad throughout their entire marriage, and he had responded by becoming an alcoholic. He is now recovered, but occasionally wants to drink a little too much wine, which is cause for concern and another story entirely.

We ended-up having an attorney petition a judge on a Sunday afternoon to sign an involuntary hospitalization order (for a medical/psychiatric evaluation). That small miracle turned into a gigantic miracle, because right-smack-dab in the middle of losing Mom, we found the Mom we'd always envisioned! And Mom is SO much happier now. For the first time in her life, she has slowed down enough to 'smell the roses.' She had bulldozed through life at an excessively manic rate, which had been exhausting for her and those of us who tried to keep up with her. Our main family focus was to keep Mom from getting in one of her unreasonable manic states!

Now, she is so pleasant that we love it when she states the day out with a slightly aggressive tone, because we know it's going to be a great day! She used to torment Dad, constantly, and it's what he'd been used to in their relationship. Now, when she greets him in the morning with, "Hey A--H---" (I don't mean to offend anyone, but that's how she greets him when she's in a great mood), my father and I will grin at each other and 'get her going' on whatever she's wanting to rant about in a good-natured way. It is totally amazing, the change in her! Dad said it's like he's got Mother's old personality back when she's like that, but of course, she's much more pleasant than she was in the past!

Please don't lose hope. If we could get help for our domineering, obstinate, angry, LOVING and controlling Mom, there's hope for everybody who needs help. We feared that Mom might become more difficult with the advancing Alzheimer's disease, but quite the opposite has been true, in her case, and I believe Mom is well into the middle stage of Alzheimer's disease

My prayers began with, "Dear Lord, I know my only hope for Mom is a miracle, so if it be thy will and the will of Mom, please allow that miracle to happen."

I believe in miracles.

Just an idea for dealing with the pinching-we used this in group homes with aggressive individuals: padded forearm guards worn by football players. Go to the local sports store and look in the team section for the football gear. There should be a variety of styles and sizes of these guards which cover from the back of the hand to the elbow. At least you could be near her with less risk of injury.