looking for someone or someone's(LOL) to give me advice and listen to my concerns and help me try to help my 84 year old m-i-l cuz i love her and am willing to do anything for her to protect her. my husband does not understand why it is happening to her and is so lost and depressed because of how this is affecting his mother and her health. it seems to add to the marital stress bank quickly and over the last 8 days my husband and i have fought about his mother and he thinks i am not helping; i have gone to soc security web;i have looked for care/housing/legal; my spouse des not talk to me or even listen to me and my ideas or concerns for his mother and her wellfair;i promised to help him but i feel he does not understand my confussion and my own heartache concerning his mother; i would like to tell my whole story and hope for someone else to understand me;ty
Hello there,
I'm so sorry that your caregiving responsibilities are straining your relationship with your husband. You said he doesn't understand why this is happening to her. I know this sounds a little harsh, but welcome to the Alzheimer's world. Nobody understands the why part. He kind of just needs to get on board and deal with the here and now, not spin his wheels with the "why". Know what I mean? But then again, I'm probably preaching to the choir.
I have two suggestions for you.
1. Ask your husband what he'd like to be done for his mother. Maybe he's got some legitimate ideas or wishes.
2. Have your husband come to a doctors appointment with you and your mother-in-law so she/he can explain the disease and needs of the patient. Maybe if he hears it from a medical professional he'll hop on board a little faster.
Hope that helps!
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