I get mad too, sometimes at my Dad. I guess the best thing is to realize it is a disease and not HIM. Like if he had cancer and acted weird, you would be mad at the cancer and not him. So try thinking that way.

Hi new caregiver,  First let me say; God Bless you and as you have probably already figured out; this will be the hardest thing you have ever done.  It was also be the best thing you have ever done. I have been a caregiver for 17 years and took care of my mother who had been diagnosed with Alzheimers for two years. She has passed away and I miss even our worst days.  I got mad and frustrated with her on occassion even though I knew it wasn't her fault. I was lucky in that she wasn't combative but I have taken care of alot of elderly that were. The one thing I know is to not berate him or try to explain to him what he was doing wrong. My suggestion would be for you to occupy him with something he enjoys doing and take a breather.  Also make sure you set up respite time for yourself and don't take no for an answer.  Take Care of yourself too!! Victoria

Honestly, as long as you're mad at the mood swings, and not him (like, you know that it's not his fault), and as long as you're not taking your anger out on him (or, actually, anybody else :-/), I've found that some days it's not worth the effort to try to mute the anger. Instead, try to just put it aside for the moment, but promise yourself that you'll let yourself vent when you have a chance (think "GRR! Later, I am SO going to SCREAM!"). If you can, make it practical: sweat it out going for a run, or beat the heck out of the potatoes you're mashing for dinner. Or sit in your car (with the windows CLOSED, or people will call the cops!) and sing along to the radio as LOUD as you can (it's a fun thing to do, and will make you laugh at yourself...and laughter really CAN make you feel better; it's an endorphin thing).

If you can't do any of those things...well, then, honestly, I'd recommend respite care, because it means you're pushing yourself too hard, if you can't get away long enough to sit in your car for ten minutes. But really, if you can't get away at all, then the best thing I've found to do is to just take a deep breath, and remind yourself that you'd rather your husband AND his mood swings be here with you, than that both of them be gone. (Trust me, there are days that thought is the ONLY thing preventing me from screaming while I'm still in my grandma's apartment, rather than safe in my own car!)

Also...this may just be me (and God knows, I am not in ANY kind of a position to be giving diet advice!), but...I've found that really good chocolate helps. Think of it like aspirin: one bite-size bar to be eaten at the first sign that you're going to scream. If one doesn't help, a second can be taken, savored slowly to give yourself time to relax. :-D

Good luck!

They are not mood swings.............it is Alzheimers.  When people have mood swings, they know that they are out of control, whether they want to admit it or not.  But with Alzheimer's you are dealing with permanent brain damage.  Your husband cannot reason or understand that his actions or behaviors are bad.

The book The 36 Hour Day is a guide to assist caregivers with Alzheimers.

Make sure that your husband's doctor knows about his behavior.  You might want to have him see a Neurologist.  Some of the meds help the patients not to be so aggressive.