'need help ' posted by just wonder @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

just wonder — Sun, 03 Oct 2010 13:06:35 -0000

I know the feeling of being helpless in dealing with dementia. I have my hubby in assisted living and we are working in the 3rd place in 1 year. We are not told of any problems before we moved into each of them but believe me all have their problems. If your insurance company will not pay with out the doctors orders or in the hospital for a 3 day stay then I suggest that you contact your local department of health senior services. I could write a book and it and the book would be a best seller about the problems that I have encountered not only with doctors, hospitals, but also the lack of personal pride in the work place that offers them selves as doing good work and in the interest of the senior citizen patient!! One of my friends remarked to me one day last wee that when we turned 80 years young we started being ignored by the medical profession. How true that is! I wish you good luck in dealing with your gma. And most of all TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF.

'need help ' posted by soooenthused @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

soooenthused — Sat, 02 Oct 2010 17:47:05 -0000

Hi, sorry I dont have any good advice for you, but I am in a similar situation. I lived w/ my gma (88) for the last 2 years as her caregiver, and she kicked me out a month ago saying I never did anything for her. Now I have a home and a job and she's asking me to come home again to live and care fr her. Saying she never kicked me out. SHes totally manioulating me with her health, calls me every day almost sayin she thinks shes havin the big one and I better get over there. She is definaltely loosin it but not diagnosed yet. I feel so guilty telling her no, but its her fault Im not living with her. I wish you good luck with your gma and hope you are able to maintain some inner peace for yourself! Dont give up.

'need help ' posted by Ranae1221 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Ranae1221 — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 04:57:11 -0000

I would also add a recommendation that if you feel your grandma's health and/or life is at risk, you can also make a referral to Adult Protective Services. I don't know what state you are in, but you can use this link to find the contact number for the APS office in your area:

http://www.apsnetwork.org/

'need help ' posted by gadjett @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

gadjett — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 14:40:58 -0000

I'm my mom's caregiver & she has Alzheimer's. Fortunately we live in the same house. She has told me to "go jump in a lake" or "no" and "Bullsh.." so many times, I can't count them. I usually go out of the room, and come back maybe 5 minutes later, maybe start a new topic, or sometimes the same if it's necessary, and she has already forgotten and we have no problem. She will thank me or say "I don't know what I'd do without you" - those times I know I am doing the right thing for her. I'd sugggest those ladies whom the patient has told to leave, to go back with a smile and never mention the 'kicking out' - just continue as if nothing has happened. It may work.

'need help ' posted by Anonymous @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Anonymous — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 15:53:10 -0000

POA does not mean your sister has sole control - guardianship does. If you are concerned, you can file for guardianship but you'll need an attorney. I'm in the process of that right now and have already spent $3200. My brothers are insisting my mom be in a skilled care facility even though she wants to live with me and her doctor thinks it would be the best situation for her at this point in her disease. They had me convinced that my older brother and sister had "complete control." They do not have guardianship, however - only POA for financial matters. I intend to have my mom revoke that POA once the court rules in our favor, which my attorney anticipates. So, if you have the money, get a good attorney!

'need help ' posted by Anonymous @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Anonymous — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 22:01:38 -0000

My mom also has dementia (vascular). She thinks I have gone and arranged for financial power of attorney without her permission. I actually had her existing poa updated to reflect her new married name. She has refused to sign it. She is also living at home with a caregiver and appears to be bored. I would like her in a facility that specializes in dementia care and provides social activities appropriate to her condition. However, she re-did her medical poa and my sister has sole control. My sister would not even give me a copy of the new document. Hopefully, your experience will resolve itself without too much stress.

'need help ' posted by mmcrn @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

mmcrn — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 02:36:37 -0000

Your agency on aging is the best route to go. Contact the county you live in and they should be able to refer you to the agency on aging. You granmother may need a capacity assessment to see if she is capable of making her own decisions. The agency can give you info and walk you thru any process you need to go thru.

'need help ' posted by susan99504 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

susan99504 — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 17:59:59 -0000

I agree with getting her admitted to a hospital. She may have an underlying issue that has escalated her dementia, commonly it is a urinary tract infection that has gone undiagnosed. But, one she is in the hospital, there are procedures in place that prevent her from being discharged to an "unsafe" environment. The key here is that there is no one to assist her in her environment and she is a danger to herself. That is what happened to my mother, and it was actually a godsend. It took much of the pressure off me, since I couldn't get her into the doc to be evaluated. Good luck, and I hope it all turns out ok for you. It is horribly stressful, but making sure your grandmother is safe and cared for will help immensely.

'need help ' posted by Anonymous @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Anonymous — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 16:25:37 -0000

I urge you to one of the contacts this site. It is urgent to get her admitted to the hospital for the 3 day medicare requirement. Sne will then be elligible for admission to a long term facility. This is very important for her benefit and yours.

'need help ' posted by Anonymous @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

Anonymous — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 17:08:54 -0000

Hi Caregiver 530,

I highly recommend that you get in touch with your local area on aging. It's a government office and their whole purpose is to assist with issues like this. There's one for, like, every zipcode and you can probably find it in the yellow pages, but caring.com has a directory as well. Just go here, type in your location, and then hit search:

http://www.caring.com/local/area-agency-on-agings

Good luck! I know this is late, but I hope it helps you!

'need help ' posted by KeeperoftheFlame @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

KeeperoftheFlame — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 01:56:00 -0000

Hi. How are things now? I just w anted to let you know I care and would like to hear from you.

'need help ' posted by LauraL @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

LauraL — Wed, 06 May 2009 21:44:51 -0000

Hi!

I"m sorry to hear about your situation! Sounds like first, you should contact her doctor and let him or her know that Grandma is not taking her meds and has sent you away. Perhaps they can arrange for someone to go check on her and discuss things with her. Perhaps a legal guardianship could be established?

Good luck and let us know how things are going.

'need help ' posted by caregiver 530 @ {post.created_at.to_s(:post_time)}

caregiver 530 — Wed, 06 May 2009 17:13:39 -0000

First time user . I have been taking care of my 84 year old grandma. She has dementia and the last couple of months she has decliend very quickly. My mom was helpng me untill my grandma kicked her out. So the last couple of weeks it has fallen all on me . We have decided it is not sutable for her to be living by herself anymore (senior appt). Now here is the problem the only care home that is payed thru her insurance is a skilled nursing facility. Found one close by but her Dr will not give orders because she doesn't need rehab. Yesterday I was also kcked out of my grandmas house because she thinks I took her money. sHE WONT TAKE HER MEDS AND IS LOSING WEIGHT VERY QUICKLY. PLEASE ANY ADVICE WOULD HELP

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