Hi, My parents are moving to a new apartment with one of my sisters and her husband. They currently live in an apartment that is overcrowded with all of their "stuff" from the four story family home they moved out of several years ago. We are trying to pack them up, but they are very resistant to let anything get thrown away (even broken items) or put in storage.
Any clues?
Oh, I forgot to add, my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 7 or 8 years ago and my father has issues with confusion due to diabetes.
Hello and welcome to Caring's groups. I'm glad you found us!
Alzheimer's or not, I think letting go of old things is really hard for some people. When my parents moved four years ago, many many MANY things came with them that are still packed today. They couldn't let them go then and still can't even though they haven't been looked at or used for all this time.
I don't know the right answer to this one, especially given your parents' cognitive impairments. How much do they understand about limited space? Have they seen the apartment/space they'll be moving in too? Does it compute that all of their stuff can't fit in there? Have you talked about choosing the most meaningful things?
I'm really hopeful someone else will have a few useful tips for you! Keep us updated. I'd love to hear what works for them!
I think they understand about limited space in an intellectual way. They helped pick out the apartment and have been there a few times. They will admit that all their stuff can't fit, but when it comes to figuring out what to put in storage and what to take with them, they "might need" pretty much everything.
At one point when we went through papers and threw out what was truly garbage - inserts from magazines, year old phone messages etc. They sifted through the whole bag and took half of it out to save.
I wonder if you could start the process of moving into the apartment before you need to move them out of the house. That way you could start with the essentials and have mom and dad see how things fit with the security of knowing if they want more, it's still easily available for them. That way they don't have to make the decision what stays and what goes while trying to visualize what might fit. Another idea is to have them coordinate with your sister. Perhaps there are some things your parents have that your sister does not. I know this is a silly example, but what comes to mind is kitchen appliances. Maybe your mom loves her food processer, even though she hasn't used it in 7 years, and your sister doesn't have one. So there's something easy you can compromise on. Just throwing it out there.
Good luck with this! I know it can really be tough and frustrating.
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