Medication

Congrats on this amazing revelation! After my father died my Mother's Dr. prescribed an antideppressant. When she called to tell me about it she had only taken one dose and I advised her to stop immediately and to return them to the pharmacy for proper disposal. A few weeks later when I went to visit her I found them still in her cabinet and took them myself back to the pharmacy. I counted them first to make sure she wasn't still taking them... to my relief she had only taken the one she had told me about! She was just fine without them... what a way to stop the grieving process!

Goodmorning Martha :) My 89 year old Aunt Mary lives with us and has a UTI (urinary tract infection), she has been halllucinating alot and is now on her 2nd antibiotic. This article explains about what this can do to the eldery. I took her to the doctor last Friday and they gave her a anti-sicotic medicine and it totally made her a zombie, so I know what you are going thru. Also they changed her UTI med to a sulpha antibiotic, so we are praying that it will work. The seeing people in her room scares her really bad. I let her read this article, it made her feel better knowing she is not going crazy. Hope this helps, have a great day and Happy Thanksgiving.
Stephanie :) http://generalmedicine.suite101.com/article.cfm/bladder_infections_and_delirium

Hi every one. In another discussion about combative behavior I posted several times and finally found a med that has helped my mom to calm down ( Marinol ) Thank God, Jesus, Buddha, Mohamed, Marry and who ever is on duty today.

My mother gets UTI on a regular basis. I fact she is running out of Antibiotics that will work and that scares me. My mother when coming down with a UTI gets very confused, weak, head leans to the left, and walks torqued if at all. and many time ends up in the Hospital for a week or two. This time it has been 4 months that she has not been home.

In that time I asked the doctors to try and find something that would help in her rages and combative behavior. We tried a lot of different meds. All of witch failed to work. Many times she would sleep for days unable to wake up. then when awake she was very confused and combative. That's when I came up with the idea of Marinol. Its not perfect but it has helped a great deal.

We tried anti depressants, anti psychotics, antihistamines and so on. The trouble I found was that the Doctors kept adding them on top of each other and it was difficult to get the doctors to stop them when I would ask. Not only that when the doctors did stop them, the message did not always get passed along. Many times I have had to go over my mothers meds every time she goes into the hospital as many times they go back to and old chart for her meds. Even if I have brought and told them what her current meds. are. I also review the meds every couple of days while she is in a medical setting.

I now question and drive the doctors crazy with every drug she takes until I'm certain that I will help her. Because I feel that she has lost a lot of ground during that time. When ever I see a different action in my mother I start asking questions to make sure that something new hasn't slipped by me. And many times it has without my knowing. I have made them note it in the chart that I must be notified of any new med before they give it to her. I have also told them what I don't want them to give her and made them note it in the chart as well. But I still have to be vigilant.

I hope that my mom will be well enough to come home soon as that is what I want for her as I feel she is safer at home. Even if she can be tough at times to deal with.

This whole thing with Alzheimer's is tough, let a lone all the other things and illness that pop up to go along with it. But I love my mom and will miss her when things have changed.

This is why I try so hard to do the right thing for her as I know you all are trying too.

Wishing for a miracle, WRS

I know what each of you are going through. I just had a situation with my mom when the dr. prescribed Vicodin for pain after a fall and break in her pelvis. Here is my advice to all. If possible, don't give any narcotic medication or antidepressants, etc. Water, water, water, and more water. Unless the kidneys are seriously compromised. The drugs seem to stay in the blood stream due to low kidney function, and build up to toxic levels as far as I can tell. I'm not a medical person, but I can see what happens with my mother. Pay close attention to the "side effects" for the meds that may be prescribed and be vigilant. The best thing for a UTI is prevention; diet and bad hygiene are the biggest culprits. Check for dietary issues, and add some natural supplements that support UT health. Also, probiotics after Antibiotics, to get the digestive tract back into good flora balance, which may cause diarrhea. Proper cleansing after a bowel movement (front to back) and I encourage the use of cleansing wipes, even just a warm wet washcloth with mild cleanser. This will lessen the liklihood of contamination of the UT. My mom has had problems remembering how to wipe properly. They need prompting for a lot of things we take for granted. The fewer drugs and more natural remedies that can be used the better. They do not metabolize drugs well when old. Research natural remedies and enlist the help of your mom's dr. If they resist, find a doctor who will work with natural remedies with you. Water is the best remedy for most problems, clean water. I also let the hospital personnel know I am available by phone no matter what the hour if she has to be hospitalized. Then I bring lavender oil bath wash to put in water and wipe on her arms, chest and back, to calm her down, if she's had a bad drug reation. I also give chamomile tea, and catnip tea to calm her. Celestial Seasonings "Sleepytime" tea is good instead of a seditive for my mom (me too) and in 15 min she is "down for the count." Also melatonin helps with restlessness and inability to sleep (especially in hospital type settings where there is noise and light at night hours) White noise machine might help too. Please don't keep piling on the meds. They just build up in the system and are toxic.

Hi, Yes I agree, when they gave my Aunt Selaquel on Friday, I gave it to her one night, and there was no way I was going to give her that again. I can help her get through the hallucinations. I'm not going to keep her drugged up just so I can sleep. My prayers are that this antibiotic does the trick, and thanks for the tips for the wiping etc. I really need to stress this to Aunt Mary, and I think I will buy her a bunch of new wash clothes devoted for this, I think the wipes would bother her, she's real sensitive to chemicals in her soaps and stuff. Stephanie :)

Reassure your aunt that she is only experiencing these things because of the drugs, etc. Let her know you believe she sees these things, but that you can assure her they are not real and not to be afraid. It will go away. If you are a praying person, pray with her and help by distracting her from what she sees. Let her know she is not alone in this. I can only imaging how she feels. These hallucinations are so real to them. My mom thought some pictures on the wall were moving (like tv pictures) and got angry when I told her it wasn't real. It's easier to go through when you're not alone with the fantasy. I hope your aunt isn't alone. God Bless you, you're in my prayers Stephanie. Maureen

She is only alone during the day, and I call and check on her often and so far has only had one day where she saw people in the yard and thought they wanted to go swimming, probably the reflection in the glass window, she lives with us and knows I'm there for her anytime. I did let her read the article I put in my first post today, it really helped her to read that. It's hard to tell her it's not real, because it definately is to her. Yes lots of prayers and sometimes a little TV in the wee morning, gets her mind off of it. Sometimes we just leave the TV on all night. Couple nights ago she wanted to try sleeping on the couch, that seemed to help. I'm going to clean her room this weekend, too many things, she can't throw anything away, so there is alot of objects to mix up as something real. Thanks Maureen, Stephanie :)

Oh, boy do I know about the "too many things they can't give up". Mom had a whole house full. We had a really big yard sale and that was after I paid thousands to have her basement and porch cleaned out. She also collected animals like ducks, chickens, cats and geese. People then started "dropping off" stray cats and some just wandered in on their own. I can't describe what I had to go through just to get it in a place where some in home service providers would even agree to come by. The goose would chase them and the cat smell on the porch put them off. It was a time I wouldn't want to live through again I can tell you. I now have alot of her stuff in my garage until I decide what to do with it. I used to be able to park my car in there, now I don't know if I'll be able to get to the snowblower when the flakes begin to fly. (Thanks for reminding me I need to wade through all that stuff before they do) I know you are a really great niece to care so much about you aunt. Keep up the faith and remember God sees your heart and you are storing up treasures in Heaven by doing it unto Jesus "by doing it to the least of these" where moths cannot destroy. Happy Thanksgiving and God bless you Stephanie. Maureen

I completetly agree with you, the exactly same thing happened to my mother. We know them best!

It's so nice to have you guys and everyone else who is going through the same thing to talk to, Aunt Mary and I stayed up and watched the finale of Dancing with the stars, so she slept better, maybe the antibiotics are kicking in, thankyou Lord, well I better get busy, we are doing inventory today and then going home early, Happy Thanksgiving to you and your loved ones.
Stephanie :)

I HAVE A 95 YEAR OLD GRANDMOTHER WHO IS MY LIFE, SHE HAS THE DEMENTIA SIDE OF ALZHEIMER'S. THEY HAVE MY GRANDMOTHER ON TWO DRUGS THAT ARE NOT FOR DEMENTIA. TRYING TO GET THE DOCTOR TO STOP USING THEM IS PULLING TEETH. WOULD LOVE TO KNOW IF YOU HAD GOOD LUCK WITH THE DRUG MARINOL FOR ANGER (NICE WORD) AND IF YOU HAVE OTHER DRUGS YOU HAVE TRYED AND HAVE SOME RELIEF. I HAVE NO BACK UP HERE AND FIGHT ON MY OWN. WOULD LOVE TO HAVE SOMEONE TO TAKE TO THAT GOES THROUGH THE SAME THING I DO. THANK YOU KATY BLESS YOU FOR WHAT YOU DO. THERE IS NOT A WHOLE LOT OF US THAT WOULD DO THIS.

Hi Katy, Yes my mother is much more relaxed on Marinol. I have not seen a major melt down from her from the day we started the use of it, It is not a perfect fix as she still has moments in the morning when trying to wake her sometimes. But every one feels that it has helped her. I have as of yet to bring her home to see how she will do at home as she is dealing with a UTI. But I'm convinced that it has helped a great deal.

I found that with the Doctors you have to take charge and insist on what you want for your loved one. I had to tell a Doctor who was caring for my mother in the hospital ( not her regular Doctor ) that if he didn't stop giving her the meds I had asked him to stop, He was going to find out who has the Lawyer with the higher IQ. As I caught him rudely giving a Nurse a load of #$% that the family doesn't have the authority to make that kind of request in the Hospital. I reminded him that he has the right to make suggestions and impart his advise witch I greatly appreciated. But know one will be taking any of my rights to protect and make any decision's for my mother from me. And certainly not some Doctor assigned to her that we don't know and that doesn't know us. Thankfully I had in my possession the letters that all of her regular Doctors and Hospital that state I have have the right to make all of my mothers decisions for her. ( The letters came after I had a problem with an ER Nurse. Longer story for some other time). So my advice to you is stand your ground and be vigilant on the care of your Grandmother.

Now I'm not trying to say that all of the medical profession is out to do you wrong. Many, most are really great people with the best of intentions in caring for your loved one. But you do know them the best, you have to fallow your gut at times. As they are many times over worked, stressed, jaded and under informed ( as we are ). WE look to them for help, understanding, to work with us as a team. Many get that, but some don't and that is when you have to take charge.

I have the greatest regard for all of the Medical Profession. My mother to me ( me being an only child ) is all that I have. I will do what ever it takes give my mother the best quality of life that she can have for as long as she can have it. And I apologize to anyone that I have offended when it comes to the care of my mother. As at times I have asked for a nurse, tech, and Doctor to find a sub. to handle my mother either to prevent my mother from becoming agitated by that personality, or because I feel that they don't have my mothers best interest in mind for what ever reason.

Gosh, I sure sound a pushy know it all. All I can really say in the 6 years I've been caring for both my mother and late father is we have been through just way to much.

Katy I wish you the best. I would like to extend my contact info to you so we could talk. How can I get it to you with out giving it out publicly?

WRS

I completely agree that whoever has the legal right to care for their parent/relative, should fight 100% for them in the health arena. The doctor's/health care providers that treat them in the hospital etc, don't know them as you do. When it comes to the elderly, diet and hydration are the most important areas of consideration. Drugs to control their anger and nasty comments should not be used unless they are harmful to themselves or others. Words are just that, only words. We need to get past the words and deal with the cause of the words, which I believe is the struggle to maintain independence and dignity. My mother only became unkind, nasty and argumentative when I was trying to get her to do it "my way". Years of doing it the way they want, being deprived to them, can cause anyone to become unpleasant. Try it for yourself and see how you would like someone dictating your life for you. I tried some drugs and mom was easier to deal with, less of a struggle on me, but then her health was progresively worsened. Stopping the drugs gave me back "my mom" healthier, but less nice to be around. I'd rather have the real her, even though it takes more humility and patience to care for her that way. She shows no appreciation for what I do for her, probably because she would rather do it herself, but just can't remember how or what to do. It has to be very demoralizing to her; after all she still has her feelings and desires. I sometimes forget that and think of her more as a child I am trying to train. She is not a child and rebels at being treated as one, even when we see the need to guide even the simplest most routine duty, like just performing proper hygeine on a daily basis. Well, here's hoping all of you had an enjoyable Thanksgiving, for we are all grateful for the time we have left with our loved ones. Maureen

Hi Maureen, I can only answer for myself. I wish that my mother only would get angry, unkind and nasty. It appears that my use of the word angry was incorrect in describing my mothers behavior. In trying to use an all in-compassing, kinder word have mislead you. What I meant by anger was the uncontrollable rage that comes out of who knows and just pops up, hitting, biting, kicking, yelling, trying to walk out, the misunderstanding of a situations that causes complete and utter terror in my mother and myself. These things can go on for hours, sometimes to the wee hours of the morning. To the point that you yourself think that you must be crazy. I Think that is what most of us are talking about here. That is why we are looking for help. Not because we just want to shut are loved ones up and tuck them in a corner.

My mother went through the stage of just being argumentative, that I can handle and would gladly go back to. My mother is still for the most part a little happy pixie. And the Marinol has helped her to find that place again. I tried many different drugs to help my mother all of witch made her sleep for days and didn't help the problem, in fact made her more aggressive and would have to be restrained ( horrible ).

I am always looking for what triggers the on set of an episode to try avoid it the next time. I have over time been able to figure out a few. Most of the time it's to late or have no idea what triggered her.

I agree with everything you have to say in your post. More importantly that being argumentative does not warrant the use of drugs. Many of us are dealing with a much different picture. I for one would rather not give my mother any drugs. I love my mother very much and want to be able to keep her at home for as long as possible.

Thanks Maureen for posting your post. This is in hope that we don't misunderstand the differences that we are going through.

WRS

wrs thank you for the advice katystoy@gci.net would love to here form you katy

To WRS and everyone, my point was not to assume anything about anyone's personal experience, just from my own. Everyone has to deal with their own individual experience differently, as they see fit. I was having issues with stress and mom's accusations towards me and the Dr. prescribed drugs to calm her down and make her more compliant. I think I was the one who probably should have gotten the drugs instead! They just harmed her more, but they seemed to help at first. That's why I said what I did, from my own experience only. I appreciate that there is some feedback from you on Marinol, and would like to hear more about any effects you may experience on it, as I'm probably going to have use for it or something like it as time goes on. Right now, thank God, mom's holding steady on the drugs for the Alzheimers, Excelon and Namenda, that she's on. Her Alzheimer's seemed to come on immediately after her total hip replacement surgery. No one advised us/her that there was a chance that could happen. They told us after the fact. Her dad had a history of dementia, and the long time under anesthesia precipitated the dementia in her. People need to be aware of that possibility. I for one would rather be in a wheelchair than have the demetia. Even my mom said if she knew this would happen she wouldn't have had the surgery. I hope someone else will read this and realize that it is possible and rethink a major surgery like that. Maureen

Maureen are you sure that it is Alzheimer's and or Dementia? It could be something else that might have a better out come if treated properly. Other conditions can masquerade as Alzheimer's such as lack of blood flow to the brain. It's worth looking into.

WRS

I have to go by what the doctor's (neurologists) have said. If it isn't Alzheimers, they should know. Who else can test her, they did a test for her main arteries in the neck a long time ago? Everything was ok from what I understood. Is there anything else you might recommend to us. I've been wondering if it wasn't something else myself at times, but they just say, you can see the brain has shrunk on xrays and cat scans. Thanks for any info you might share. This has been going on for 8 years now. Maureen

Maureen, I can only go on what I have been told over the years and my experience. Not to give you false hope, but many things can look like Alzheimer's. I myself do and would keep asking to get other opinions from other doctors. It is my understanding that Alzheimer's can only be 100% diagnosed after an autopsy. Sad huh? Wish you the best.

WRS

PS. Marinol seems to be working for my mother. Again it is not 100% but it has helped a great deal. It's worth a try even if it is the organic road you choose. Many doctors don't want to try because at this point it is an off label use of the drug. I myself don't use or advocate it's recreational use. But the people that I do know who do use seem to be happy, high, horny and hungry let a lone mellow, I was desperate to find something. And this is why I got the idea and figured it couldn't hurt.

WSR