How do you celebrate the holidays with an Alzheimer's parent?

In our family we're dealing with dementia, rather than true Alzheimer's, but we tend to just focus on the moment. Mom doesn't really remember the traditions we once had. So when we're together, we just focus on having a happy time right then. It makes me sad that her famous cheesecake is gone, but she really is joyful when we're together and celebrating, so we take that at face value and enjoy it.

My mom has Alzheimers and she really loves looking at the all the christmas lights (nothing flashing or twinkling) on the tree and around the home. Just last week she helped trim the tree with my 3 yr old daughter. They had a lot of fun. Then we sat back listened to pretty christmas music and admired our masterpiece.

It's been really easy in household! no stresses on her or my dad, who also has alzheimers dementia. They're loving it!

In our family, my mother-in-law who lives with us has Alzheimer's (last stages). She does not remember any of the old times, which were fun filled times with lots of laughter and good cooking (hers).

This year we, as a family will gather and tell her of years past (she loves to hear about the past). I will have her help me with the Lasagna (she loves to help), and we will be thankful that even though she is not all she was, at least she is with us, and enjoying "the moment". She has taught me how precious each moment is, and I too have learned to "live in the moment" - when I am with her.

Merry Christmas to all!!!

I think that it is important to maintain some of the routine of a normal day as big events or social activities are really frightening for many people with dementia. That being said, having familiar family visit (in small numbers) is good and being generally festive is fun for everybody. Music is one of the most resilient sources of memory - so playing holiday music can be very soothing and a fun thing to share.

I think that a hard piece can be for other family members who want the person with memory loss to remember them at such a festive and family time - getting prepared for this in advance can be helpful

Tessa ten Tusscher, Living Well - Assisted Living at Home

My mother is in the moderate stages of Alzheimer's. I am going to be moving her in with me at the beginning of the year. People tell me that I am such a good daughter, but what they don't realize is, I am doing it because I want to spend as much time as I can with her. I was laid off my job 2 months after her diagnosis and I am a firm believer that things do happen for a reason. For me, it to be able to spend more quality time with my aging parents before it is too late. September definitely has the right idea!! Get them involved if they can, and enjoy every so very precious moment you have with them!!! Parents are a gift given to children from God just as children are a gift for parents. The circle of life. Merry Christmas to everyone!!1

I want to wish everyone in our extended Dementia Care families who are taking care of someone with Dementia a Happy Holiday Season. My father is 86 yrs old and has Louy Body Dementia(Dreams and Reality are the same in his world)and he has "Sun Downer's Syndrom". Our family has had a lot of Highs and Lows associated with the Holidays. My Grandparents got married on Thanksgiving back in the Depression, I got married on Thanksgiving Day because I was in the military and moved around so much, then last year, my Dad fell three days before Thanksgiving and was hospitalized and sent to rehab for 3 months, he missed Xmas totally. We put him in an assisted living facility after that, this year 3 days after Thanksgiving, my Dad fell in his room again and broke his hip this time and had to have it replaced so this will be his second yr in a row that he's in Rehab over Xmas. We hope to get him a 1 day pass so we can bring him to our house for Xmas day. Now as far as care goes, I have a new found appreciation for the tallents of the Caregivers, Nurses, Doctors and Dentists who take care of patients with Dementia; I have a better appreciation for what it means to have "Patience". These medical people can do things I never could in the way of taking care of my Dad and we can really notice how much better Dad is when they are taking care of him and he apprecaites it too. As for the holidays, what I find works best for us is to take our Cues from my Dad. Dad doesn't really seem to miss the holidays, he pretty much lives in the moment so that's where we stay too, we don't talk about the past. He enjoys visiting with the family and the family enjoys having him visit but we dont' try and get to nostalgic with him. Even though we have him at our house, We keep him on his med cycle and we plan to get him back to the Rehab center before it gets to late into the "Sun Downer" period. What seems to work for us is to keep things very predictable, not to much excitement because he confuses it with dreams and we keep it a very warm family atmosphere. Dad is happy and so is the family. We really appreciate it because we don't know how many more of these we will have with Dad. Happy Holidays to everyone, the family angels, taking care of their loved ones every day. Cheers, Lancer

My mother-in-law, who has late middle/early final stage Alheimer's and COPD, will be spending this Christmas in the hospital. Because too much excitement is upsetting to her, we have spread out the good cheer by limiting the number of ornaments in her room, giving an occasional modest gift,and by giving her just one or two Christmas cookies at a time. The best gift, for her, is our company.

Merry Christmas, everyone, and God bless you and your loved ones!

My 89 yr old mother has second stage Alzheimer's. Too much change in daily routine confuses her. I live with her and try to do a little for Chrismas -she enjoys the tree. But company and neighbors stopping by with cookies...she enjoys but afterward is very confused. She has no memory 5 minutes after an event and has not memory of holiday's past. I give her little treats each day and say "merry christmas" and that makes her happy. I find it peaceful for both of us and simple. We are both happy with the present, as another posting stated, everything is in the moment. And that is actually easy once you realize you cannot be any where else. Happy Holidays to everyone!

My father is in the moderate stage of alzheimers. He gets confused very easily. He doesn't understand why all the hoopla about the holidays. My mother is the primary caregiver and I am the daughter who lives back at home (with my teenage son) to help. My father cannot drive any longer. He thinks he still can. I drive them to the doctor, grocery store or wherever my mom needs to go. My Dad didn't do good at Thanksgiving. We were at my older sisters for dinner and after we ate turkey he wanted to go home. He looked lost and sad. My Dad told me he doesn't trust me or my brother anymore. That hurts. I must get stronger so I can help my Mom.
Happy Holidays to all of you and your families. Joan Huxhold

My dad is our Alzheimer's guy; he's 88. Last year he bought gifts for all of my siblings. Once we had the gifts purchased, I made a "sign" that says, "To: " sibling name, "From: Daddy", "Christmas 2008". I had Daddy hold each sign and gift and took a picture with my digital camera. Then we wrapped each gift and mailed it off. On Christmas day, Daddy got really depressed because we made such a big fuss over him and he "didn't do anything for anyone else." My husband and grown sons "disappeared" and Daddy and I sat down with the pictures; I explained, we talked and laughed and the pictures remained on the little table by his spot on the couch all day. Later, I printed smaller versions of the picutres and "filed" them in his memory box. This year, as the season approached the depression did too. I pulled the old pictures from the memory box and showed them to him, then we went shopping. I've taken the pictures this year, but haven't printed them yet (thank heavens for digital cameras). I'd better get them printed soon, Christmas is only two days away and we will need those to help us make it through.

Merry Christmas all!!!!

My Mom has some form of something involving the function of her brain. I think the best thing to do is get her evaluated so that we know what we are dealing with and therefore can educate ourselves on how to respond to situations as they come up. She is well into her 80's and can not be left alone. She is also suffering from other medical conditions but at this point I really think she should see a neurologist.

Happy New Year

Reference to: My Mom has some form of something involving the function of her brain.

Here's something we learned, Neurologist know part of the problem but we found the best kind of specialist to help diagnose my Dad's proble (Loui body Dementia where dreams and reality seem the same) was a Psychiatrist that specialized in Geriatric patients, the neurologist didn't pick up on exactly what my Dad has, it was the Psychiatrist. Once we were able to get the correct diagnosis we were able to get the right medications and things calmed down considerably from there. What we liked best was that they were very specific on what my Dad has, he didn't just say Dimentia or Alzhiemers. Good Luck.

Happy New Year, Lancer01

Thank you Lance for taking the time to offer your suggestion that is exactly the type of help my family needs now. I would not have thought of a psychiatrist. Hopefully we can find a good one in the area.