I am having trouble with my husband and kids dealing with my grandma. My husband feels uncomfortable when she corners him and starts compaining about me and how I was raised. He won't even go near her for fear that she will talk to him. How can I make him more comfortable to be around her?
Hi! Welcome to Caring's Alzheimer's group.
While i don't have any direct experience, I have a couple of suggestions. Perhaps your husband could redirect the conversation - ask Grandma about when she was a kid what things were like. Or answer her directly: I don't know anything about how she was raised, you'll ahve to talk to her parents. Disarm her with and "I love you." I guess I"m after the redirection, maybe she'll start talking about something else.
At any rate, good luck, and let us know how things are going!
That's a difficult situation! My advice is to have your husband spend very short periods of time with her with a planned agenda of topics to initiate in mind. Short and sweet may help him communicate with her while avoiding those subjects that make him uncomfortable.
How old are your children? Do they understand that grandma has trouble remembering things? Depending on their ages, perhaps you can explain what Alzheimer's is and what that means for grandma. Sometimes I find that knowledge promotes understanding and kindness. Maybe you can give your children the same advice. "Talk to grandma about her favorite recipes!" (assuming she liked cooking) Sometimes a script is all it takes to get the ball rolling in a positive manner. I hope that works! Please let us know how ti goes!
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