angry

Hi,

My mom said nasty things to the women she stayed with and soon those women didn't want to stay with her..so she had no friends after a while. My mom lived in Florida and I started paying for a care giver to watch her and drive her places etc - Dr.'s , beauty parlor etc... and to stay with her to make food. After some time this person needed to stay more and more - $$$$ - all out of pocket. My mother and I would speak to each other about 15x a day - Yelling, fighting - to take pills - meds..eat...you name it.. At the time I was working and could never have taken care of her - very demanding and I was educated in Alzheimers at that point. When she decided to call 911 for the time - everything started spinning out of control - the cops came to her and took her to the hopsital - and didn't let her out for some time - the Dr. demanded that she have round the clock assistance - $$$ more cash - out of pocket. It was time to consider ASL - NOT a nursing home - but an ASL. and that's whay=t I did because I too have a brother that's good for nothing and never got involved in any of these issues... It has alwasy been just me and my mom. I did her bills,taxes,Dr.s etc...bought her food just about everything... very mind depleating on me...as you know. I found a wonderful place that knew how to handle alzheimer 's and we were good to go.. my mother loved it there and they loved her - my mother always loved going to hotels and being taken care so she fit right in and thought she was constant vacation. hahahah - My mom passed away in March of this year and I miss her very much - I have her ashes here with me like she always wanted to live with me - I kiss her everyday and talk to her all the time - It's a horrible feeling that you can't speak to your mother any more and I feel soooo very empty but I put her in a good place and they took very good care of her and she looked great until the day she passed...no bed sores and her hair was brushed all the time - they gave her meds and had the dr. at her side all time when she needed one. They called me all the time and I can call them as well. That is where you should look into for a place like that before you can't deal with it anymore - when it gets to rough for you and your family - before you start hating your mother because you don't really understand that this is a very bad illness and she can't help doing the things she does. Peaopl do die from this and I did not know this. Be knd to her too - you might think that keeping her in your home, around you and your family is the best thing - think again...she gets confused too and she needs people around her that will direct her in a calm way and show her what will be done to correct any of her fears and frustrations. My mom was Florida - if you need to know of a place that the cost was low and they take great care of your loved one - just let me know... Babs

Tthank you for your words of encouragment. I know that the times going to come where I have to put her in a home. My brother is her power of attorney and he thinks that means over me too and it  don't. I get upset over that too. He does the bills...oh wow...it's not anything like taking care of her 24/7. The doctors,pills, all the test and speicalist. Taking her to day care once a week. Spring is here and we sit outside a lot but when summer comes it's going to be to hot for me, mom loves the heat.He comes over maybe once a month and stays 20 mins and gone. Which that's fine for me but not for mom, it's a shame with having a loving family to this. My dad would be soooo angry and it's that dad talk we both need. I can hear hom telling me things and try to do them. I'm a Christain and it's a stuggle to just smile at him. I need to forgive and forget but it's too hard.