Alzheimer's lates stage

Hi Babs,

No one can really say, can they? sounds like she is enjoying what she has, and her caregivers are enjoying her. I shall wish for continued happy days until they end.

asl is for assisted living site??? i hope that you can afford your mom the grace of living in the moment and not focus on when she is going to be gone; i do not know you or pretend to offer any advice i just  am answering you in a human response; my m/i/l is going to be 84 in june2009 and she is in a skilled facility in arizona for alzheimer's and i will not pretend to have any advice for any one else but i am trying to keep her name and reputation in tact do to some shaddy stuff my b/i/l did while he was supposed to be taking care of her; i am not able to change the past but i pray for another day that i can tell my m/i/l i love her and i thought of her even if she cannot remember talking to me 20 minutes ago; for us it is annoying for the same story to be told 4 times in a day but remembering that is a new conversation for them makes it easier to act suprised and happy to have a conversation with her; just food for thought for all of us that once the person is gone do we ourselves not repeat the conversations numerous times in a day? we call them memories; or good times;but for the person it was the same; please take to heart the value of the days with your mother and try not to forsee how much longer you  have with her; love her in the moment and cherish the moment for what it is; a precious memory for you to hold in your heart; take care;micki

Hi to all that have responded.... it was only three days and my mother is gone - I got the info faxed fro the Hospice who was going to assist with care in the ASL - when I was reading the info sent - I looked up at the sky and said let me call her - I called and she wasn't feeling so good - they said she had a slight fever - so they put her back in her room and in bed.. I insisted on speaking to her - the nurse held the phone to her ear - I told her that I loved her very much and I want her to get better - the nuses were crying - and they said she was smiling - 15 minutes later she was gone - it was like someone told me to call - becausw

Hi to all that have responded.... it was only three days and my mother is gone - I got the info faxed fro the Hospice who was going to assist with care in the ASL - when I was reading the info sent - I looked up at the sky and said let me call her - I called and she wasn't feeling so good - they said she had a slight fever - so they put her back in her room and in bed.. I insisted on speaking to her - the nurse held the phone to her ear - I told her that I loved her very much and I want her to get better - the nuses were crying - and they said she was smiling - 15 minutes later she was gone - it was like someone told me to call - because I always call at 5:00 after dinner and she's all settled - but that day I called at 12... Am I sooo very lucky and happy that I spoke to her and let her know that I loved her before she left - I miss her sooo much and I cry all the time - Yes, I know this is the life cycle and this is the way it shopuld happen - but this is my mother - a women I spoke to 3x a day when she was ill - sometime 7x a day - I miss her voice - I have her on a message on my answering machine and I cry when I listen to it - This women was so smart - she was a school aide - to a sec... to a teacher..to a principal - spoke two lang... travel all over the world and had many friends ... to see the mind crumble and yes it crumbled - to nothing - a shell of what she was.. there must be a cure for this - I was very surprised that it causes death... ?? I was in shock... it was always the two of us - and now there is only one... I'm so empty... If there is anyone out there that needs info on this HORRIBLE illness - please I will shed all I can on it - I have been through a lot with her -

Babs, I am so sorry. Please accept our condolences on the loss of  your mother. I am so sure she was so very proud of you.

Thank you Laural... If anyone needs to talk about this illness and the issues that occur with it - please feel free to email me - I'v dealt with many of them in my years with my Mom.

Hello!

    First, my heartfelt condolences about your Mother. God Bless you for caring for her!   My mother will be 90 in Oct. She has lived with me for 12 yrs and has the same terrible disease. I am in Orlando, Fl. I would like to e mail you as I have several quesyions to ask and I know you would be able to help. My e mail adrss is dittybees@yahoo.com. Please contact me and in subject write info on your mother as I do not open unfamiliar emails. Thank you so much.

Babs,

  I just wrote you and can relate to how you feel. I often think if I lost my mom what would I do with myself. My mother and I are very close and I also know the time is coming. I was care giver for my late husband and now my mom as she progresses to get worse. I am afraid of nursing homes and want to keep my mother with me as long as I can.  How did you find the right home for her? I feel the time may be coming and it is killing me to make this decision. Any info, I would be grateful. Thank You.

                                                                         Ditty

Hi, My mother always wanted to live on her own - she moved from Brooklyn to Florida many years ago - she drove and did everything on her own - then little by little she would forget things and at one point she couldn't drive at all- she would go outside and forget where she was - or she lost her keys - best of all she dialed 911 to ask for the time - when the cops came they called me and things started spinning out of control from that point on. I hired a wonderful person to stay with her about 3-4 hrs a day then it was about 7-8 hrs..all out of pocket $$$. A nursing home was totally out of the question because they don't really take care of your loved ones - I heard many horror stories... since I am in NJ and she is in Fl my eyes and ears were with that person that was taking care of her for some time - we became like sisters - we got very close and still speak to each other to this day. Since my mother lived in Fl - we had to look for a place there because in NJ the price was about 8-10 thousand dollars a month - because with Alzheimers the ASL would charge you for every little thing - etc. assistance with a shower, pills,feeding,dressing almost every thing...but in Fl. all was included - they have different laws there. So the price was MUCH cheaper - $1,900.00 with everything... they took GREAT care of her and my pal checked in on her 3x a week. The place is Avalon Park in Hollywood Fl. if you are interested. It had to be done I was speaking to my mother 15x a day - yelling at her to take pills - like she was 5 years old. it was no way to talk to her - it was not nice at all - but you get frustrated and you don't understand that they just don't understand nor think like you and I. Take a step back and look at the picture and you'll treat her better and be more calm when you know that she is ill, very ill.My mother always knew who I was when I called her at the ASL - which made me feel great - because if that had ever happened I don't know what I would have done - It is not fair for you to have to burden this all on your shoulders...I know I've been throught it too. I have a brother who is worth garbage and my mother and I never leaned on him at all...it was always just the two of us...I dealt with all her Dr.s , bills, taxes, $$$ to send her ...just about all she needed to survive - was me... when I put her in the ASL - it was a lot lifted off of me - maybe at times a little guilt but I could NEVER take care or give the care they gave her. She loved it there...she really did. She got use to it and all the people. I could tell you stories of her mouth that would curl your hair hahahah but they loved her becuase of her and she loved them. So you see not all places are bad - and not all places bleed you dry. You have to look around and make sure that YOU are happy with the people you have to deal with. 

Write me any time ... Babs  

Anonymous responded less than a minute ago :
Hi, My mother always wanted to live on her own - she moved from Brooklyn to Florida many years ago - she drove and did everything on her own - then little by little she would forget things and at one point she couldn't drive at all- she would go outside and forget where she was - or she lost her keys - best of all she dialed 911 to ask for the time - when the cops came they called me and things started spinning out of control from that point on. I hired a wonderful person to stay with her about 3-4 hrs a day then it was about 7-8 hrs..all out of pocket $$$. A nursing home was totally out of the question because they don't really take care of your loved ones - I heard many horror stories... since I am in NJ and she is in Fl my eyes and ears were with that person that was taking care of her for some time - we became like sisters - we got very close and still speak to each other to this day. Since my mother lived in Fl - we had to look for a place there because in NJ the price was about 8-10 thousand dollars a month - because with Alzheimers the ASL would charge you for every little thing - etc. assistance with a shower, pills,feeding,dressing almost every thing...but in Fl. all was included - they have different laws there. So the price was MUCH cheaper - $1,900.00 with everything... they took GREAT care of her and my pal checked in on her 3x a week. The place is Avalon Park in Hollywood Fl. if you are interested. It had to be done I was speaking to my mother 15x a day - yelling at her to take pills - like she was 5 years old. it was no way to talk to her - it was not nice at all - but you get frustrated and you don't understand that they just don't understand nor think like you and I. Take a step back and look at the picture and you'll treat her better and be more calm when you know that she is ill, very ill.My mother always knew who I was when I called her at the ASL - which made me feel great - because if that had ever happened I don't know what I would have done - It is not fair for you to have to burden this all on your shoulders...I know I've been throught it too. I have a brother who is worth garbage and my mother and I never leaned on him at all...it was always just the two of us...I dealt with all her Dr.s , bills, taxes, $$$ to send her ...just about all she needed to survive - was me... when I put her in the ASL - it was a lot lifted off of me - maybe at times a little guilt but I could NEVER take care or give the care they gave her. She loved it there...she really did. She got use to it and all the people. I could tell you stories of her mouth that would curl your hair hahahah but they loved her becuase of her and she loved them. So you see not all places are bad - and not all places bleed you dry. You have to look around and make sure that YOU are happy with the people you have to deal with.

Write me any time ... Babs