Alzheimer's death and dying

 I'm a huge fan of getting in touch with a local hospice program. (Check the eldercare directory on Caring's home page, for example.). They help you assess your specific situation, provide appropriate physical care and comfort care, and are a useful source of guidance and emotional support for the family both before and after death. 

I'm sorry, I should have mentioned that she is in a nursing home and receiving "Comfort Care" which is there form of hospice.  I'm just curious how long she can survive under these circumstances of not eating or drinking

Hi Doydoy,

I'm so sorry. Sending healing thoughts your way.

 Hi Doydoy

When my mother was dying, it was hard to get a difinitive answer.  I don't know her health status or any specifics, so I can just tell you that my mother stopped eating on a Monday and died the following Thursday.  She was 71 years old.  All the best to you and your mother in these hard days.

I wondered the same thing with my mother that passed away just this past July.  She didn't eat or drink for around 2 weeks.  It was like each day we could se a decline but it came to the point of just begging God to take her, because the suffering was so bad.  She always like to eat so to see her unable to eat was just devastating to me.  I am so very sorry you are going through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your Mom.  Just treasure each moment you have now even though she is in this shape you won't be sorry.  Best of all thoughts and heartfelt sadness for you and your Mom.  HJP

Hi Doydoy.

It's been a while since your post, but if you see this, my heart goes out to you and your family. I would put my arms around you and give you a hug if I could, because I've just gone through the same thing and words just don't seem to help..

My mom stopped eating last Saturday, which I found out Sunday afternoon while out of town.  When I reached her early Sunday night, I got no sign of recognition and couldn't get any kind of response (a look, a squeeze of the fingers), she was just staring blankly and didn't seem to be aware of anything around her.  We were given various estimates of how long she might last, from a few days to 2 or 3 weeks!   Because she was still *physically* healthy (no heat disease, infections, etc), they felt she might hold on quite some time. We felt comfortable telling my oldest brother not to make the 3-hour drive that night, to wait until we talked to the doctor in the morning.  I went home to get some sleep when my younger brother arrived about 9pm, and am so sorry I did, because she died about 7:30 the next morning, before I got back.  I am so grateful it didn't take long, it was horrible not knowing what she might be feeling, but imagining pain or fear.  I did talk to her and tell her she didn't have to hold on any longer, that if she was tired, she didn't have to fight.  I don't know if that sped up the process or not, but I sure wish I had been there with her at the end.  I've been missing my mom for years as I've watched her decline, but instead of feeling relieved, I miss her now more than ever.  I feel like I'm 4 years old instead of 40 - I want my mommy!!!

Let me start by saying my prayers are with you. No one not even the doctors can say how long this final stage will last. It;s very hard to watch the mom that raised you slip away to nothing. All one can do is continue to try to get your mom to take in some kind on nutrition even in the form of liquid supplements in an effort to keep he as comfortable as possible.For you I recommend supports groups and any other outlet to talk to people in your same situation

Elizabeth, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. *hugs* and best wishes to you.

I would just like to update on you Mom's condition.  She was rushed to the hospital where they gave her last rights.   During her stay,  she "miraculously " recovered and is now alert, eating and doing much better.  I have a feeling that she is not being cared for properly at the nursing home as her doctor there gave a much different scenario of what really is.  I can only continue to pray that her improvement will continue.  Unfortunately (not being power of attorney - my younger sister is), there's nothing I can do about having her moved.  I truly believe that if my sister visits more regularly and keeps a close eye on them she will continue in this fashion.  We just visited her Saturday (it's 3 hours away) and had a very nice visit.

Thanks again for all your caring and concern

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to nurseladybear and laural -

Thank you so much for your responses!   I was afraid I'd come back and see my post still at the bottom of the thread,  then finally looked and saw your posts.  Somehow, seeing that two people I'd never even met would take the time to express their sympathy and understanding really comforted me more than anything else this week, so bless you both.

and to doydoy -

I'm so glad to hear the good news about your mother.  I'd thought of you both and wondered what had happened.   I was really happy to read that things are going so much better now. Hopefully you and your sister will have many more  visits with your mom to look forward to !

Elizabeth

 I have been a caregiver  for almost 9 years now to the same sweet lady ,  but the last two years I noticed  a big change in her. The one I am most worried about is her not wanting to eat or drink anything at all unless she is fed  and the whole time she  is telling us she is not hungry and all she wants to do is go to bed even if she just got out of bed. I am there everyday to look after her as well as feed her  and there has been a few times she  had some hallucinations and asked me  how come I put a chair on her bed ?  Her family is doing whatever needs to be done and loves her dearly but it's sad   we can do nothing to help her  only love her.