Hi cgdig, and welcome to the board.

I'm so sorry to hear of your father. It certainly must be one of the more difficult issues to have to deal with - that the strong man you knew has changed so much, and to run into this problem too - I'm so sorry.

(((HUGS)))

So, let's talk practicalities. This is probably going to happen again. It's time to consider acquiring underwear that will help prevent him soiling his clothes. Perhaps also begin asking him if he needs to go, or even taking him to the bathroom at scheduled times. Take note of what foods he's eating - does anything cause him to have looser bowels that may make this even more difficult? Try limiting or eliminating those foods.

It's hard. I know. We're here to listen.

Thank you for replying to my post. This is so hard for us. We've been preparing ourselves for the mental decline. But this episode was a reality check of the physical decline that accompanies Alzheimer's. Thank you for the support and kind words.

Also let his doctor know. There are medicines that might help, particularly if the stool is lose. This is not necessarily the beginning of the end. No two Alheimer's patients are the same. They all show different signs at different stages. My husband was incontient for years before he declined further. Is it difficult, yes. Do put him on a schedule and have him go to the bathroom every two hours. Watch him closely and try to learn the "signs" of when he is uncomfortable. Put pads on the bed at night to protect the bedding. Get him up once each night as needed. Use incontient products. I started with - surprise - womens menstral pads because they were very thin and I could use two inside his regular underwear and just whip them out and change them as necessary without having to take off his clothes. Next we progressed to the pullup style product so that they still felt like "normal" underwear. I still used the womens pads inside for easy changing. Finally we had to give in to regular tape on the sides style. However, this progression took many, many months. Remember, after the shock we can learn to do what we need to do. Have strength and courage and remember to take good care of yourself. PS: my husband is 74 now.

My mom was having accidents last summer and we put her on Namenda. The accidents stopped & did not return until the last month. Lately, she just wets herself occasionally. Not sure what your father is on but I hope this helps. This is a dreadful thing to go through. God is with you.

Laural has given you great advice. I have this problem with my mother, and I have found that taking her to the bathroom often each day seems to help. (It also forces her to exercise a little more than she would otherwise.) I also have found that milk products seemed to cause very loose bowels, and her doctor recommended soy milk, soy ice cream, and soy cheese. That seems to help.

I wish you the best. This is a heart-breaking time in our lives. Be sure to give yourself breaks.

From the time I started my reply until the time I got to send my reply, several other people sent in advice. I have to amend my first sentence -- Laural and everyone else sent in great advice!

Hello and welcome to the wonderful world of Alzheimer's. Just when you think you've got it handled, something else comes up and throws your life into a blender.

It could be a one time thing, but surely something to bring up to the doctor. There are meds out there that I'm sure can help, but once it processes, he'll need to wear diapers on a regular basis.

You can assist them in the bathroom, much like potty training, but they don't normally have the ability to learn quickly. Then the accidents happen more frequently or heaven forbid they try to go on their own and make a bigger mess. We got around it by having them wear either sweats with a tie or medical pants that have ties. Once they're tied tightly, they can't pull their pants down, so it helps to keep from having a mess.

Either way, it's tough to do. But showing and telling them compassionately really goes far. They also forget much, which includes where the bathroom is.

Good luck; I hope it's just a one time thing for you; but be prepared, as sometimes the disease moves quickly. Too bad they don't have a true life guide...

This is such a hard thing to deal with. My husband who is 82 also has Alzheimers. Namenda does seem to help with the bowel problem, but he is also incontinent and strongly resisted wearing protective underwear. I finely packed away all of his underwear, but he still insisted on wearing just his thermal longjohns. It was a struggle, but he did get tired of changing all of his clothes from the waist down and gave in to the protection. I use a lot of praise and now assist him every AM bathing,powdering, putting on the pull ups, all of the previously laid out clothes, shave, brush the teeth, etc. After the routine was established he doesn't seem to mind as much. I am 73 and will keep on doing it as long as possible. Keep your chin up, do the best you can and take care of yourself. An outing for you now and then will surely pick up your spirits.

1care: I needed to hear your words. My mom is 75 & progressing rapidly & dad is 80 doing the best he can with her. I am juggling their life and mine. Trying to keep them together as long as it is healthy for all. Reading your response gives me courage to keep going. May God bless you.

Everyone has given great advice, but I'd like to add another aspect for you to think about. I am in a similar situation with my mother, as she is in great physical health (no diabetes, no high blood pressure) and her only affliction is dementia. She is 86 and has been incontinent for almost 8 years, so your recent experience may not be the beginning of the end, but rather the beginning of a very long journey. I cannot stress enough what others have recommended - you and your loved ones need to take good care of yourselves, help each other take breaks without guilt, and have compassion for your father as he can't help himself. And there will be days when he is fully aware of what is happening and will be devastated to realize his decline, and those days you will need extra strength and compassion. Good luck.