Alzheimer's and assisted living

I'm having the same dilemma, though my mom's memory problems are not from Alzheimer's. My problem is there are big issues getting in the way of either solution; it's hard to find a facility that will accept her and she has a really difficult personality that makes it hard to find a caregiver who will tolerate her. Does anyone else have experience with a parent who's difficult to place or care for?

I noticed the other day that in my area, there are living facilities that specifically cater to Alzheimer's patients. You might check your area and see if there might be one, as well. Best wishes!

Well, I’m considering an assisted living however I’m torn with the thoughts that I’m doing something wrong by displacing my mom from the home that she and my father toiled many yeas to purchase. I’ve recently acquired the home from her via quit claim deed, now she says she doesn’t remember signing the house over to me. So now she is telling the whole world that I stolen the house from her. Although everything was done legally I am so torn as what now to do. I have very little help from my family. What are your thoughts, how do you feel about displacement?

Regarding finding care for difficult parents:  I moved my father to my community (his own home) a year ago, knowing he had problems with memory.  He was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's.  We have been using home care aides through an agency five afternoons a week.  His lifelong tendency to hoard and obsess, his increasing difficulty with organizational skills, sexual obsessions, increased anger and his denial of the dementia all take their toll on the caregivers.  He is in early stages of dementia and is very active and causes a lot of chaos and need for people to "put out fires".  We have had some wonderful aides, but sometimes I have to spend a lot of time on the phone with them coaching and counseling.  It helps to be able to acknowledge to them how difficult and draining he can be, so they don't feel worried about hurting my feelings.  I do dread the day he needs to be in residential care because I think he may be difficult to place.

Anonymous, I agree, it can take some counseling to help caregivers deal with difficult parents. Thanks for sharing your view!

I am wondering if anyone has the same problem I am facing now.  I have an adult daughter (30) who has chronic illnesses that make it very difficult to care for her myself.  She is living at home but it seems to be coming a desperate situtation.  She is on pain medication and suffers from depression.  She has no friends or outside contact other than family.  Is there a residential facility for other than Seniors?  please respond if you have any help