Dealing with a loved one's addiction can add an additional layer of stress to an already complicated caregiving situation. How do you find support for yourself? Do you have a friend you confide in or perhaps you attend a group like Al-Anon?
Personally, I found Al-Anon very helpful in providing support and advice. Even on the weeks when I didn't feel like contributing or sharing, it was just nice to be in the same room with people who were in similar situations as I was and listen to their stories. Even though I haven't attended a meeting in quite a while due to scheduling conflicts, I still find their books to be an excellent resource for me when I'm trying to sort through all the various emotions that come with caring for a loved one who is struggling with addiction. One of my favorites is " The Courage to Change" - it's separated into short daily sections which is perfect because that's usually all I have time for :)
I'd love to hear how everyone else finds support for themselves. And if you are not, I encourage you to do so- it's SO important to remember to take care of ourselves too ! Post here in Caring.com 's community and we'll be happy to provide support and advice. 
Thanks Lisa -- I also want to highly recommend Al Anon. I encourage people to go to a few meetings, because in my case, at least, it took awhile to figure out what it was all about. At first I didn't like the slogans and the sharing, and I didn't think it was for me. But after a few meetings, and especially after finding a sponsor and working the steps,, I recognize it as a wonderful spiritual (not religious) community -- and it has added so much to my life. I've found that it really is possible to, as they say in Al Anon, find happiness, whether the alcoholic is drinking or not. I never would have believed that was possible.
I'm so glad to hear that Al-Anon has been helpful for you! Finding happiness- whether the alcoholic is drinking or not - is so so important and very possible. In the beginning, I also firmly believed that my happiness was dependent on my loved one stopping drinking. Al-Anon helped me see that this was simply not true.
Thanks for sharing your experience with us!
Lisa
What other factors are there out there that can cause a person to exhibit the signs of an adult child of an alcoholic when their parent never drank? One of my mother's uncle was an alcoholic and died from it the others to my knowledge never touched it. On my mother's dad's side they didn't drink or smoke.
Yet I have been married to 2 alcoholic husbands. My third and current one is not but his mother is. What is in me that makes them attractive?
If you have ever lived in a very controlled atmosphere, very often that will do it. BTDT...we grow up (controlled) feeling that absolutely everything is up to US to fix...like WE are the ones who MUST make the controller happy.
I think because of the pain this causes us, we inwardly also develop a great deal of sympathy toward anybody, later in our lives, who appears to need 'fixing'...and the alcoholic certainly fits that description. So we go through life, encountering broken people, and our hearts just naturally want to go out to them and help in any way we can.
This is not a bad thing...God knows this whole world could use a lot more compassion. But it bears saying that caution is also needed when getting overly involved with someone who is addicted.
I hope this helps a little...
Thanks Go Fer I think you hit the nail on the head. I'm looking back now at the control issues that were present but that we accepted well, what else could we do? we were kids.
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